Two Questions - I want your advice

[King]

Hi guys,

I'm rather new to the scene and have only posted on here a few times. I'm 27 years old, in pretty decent shape, and pretty good looking for my age. I have two questions that I want your advice on:

1. I live right next to a restaurant that offers valet service. As I walk home every day I see the valet guys out there, and I've seen one person who works there who's very good looking and maybe 2-3 years younger than me. I see him maybe two or three times a week when I come home. The first time I heard him talk in passing I thought there was a very good chance he was gay (I live in the gay neighborhood of my city), and I decided I would talk to him and ask him if he wanted to get a drink with me. The next time I heard him in talk, though, he didn't sound gay at all (again, only in passing. I have not talked to him yet). My question is, how do you think I could go about asking him out at all without knowing whether or not he is even gay? Any advice on this situation or anyone been in a similar situation?

2. I've just recently started going to the gay bars and notice that VERY few younger people go there alone. Everyone is either in groups of two or larger groups. The vast majority of people I see alone are 40+, which I really am not interested in dating at this point in my life. I don't really know how to approach anyone yet, whether or not I've had any alcohol. My question is what is a good way to start a conversation with a group of two or more? Is anyone new to this scene and goes to gay bars alone like me? Also, how often would you say that a group of two is a couple? I've seen many guys at gay bars in pairs who are in their early 20s and who I'd like to meet, and I can't imagine that ALL of them are in committed relationships with each other. What is your take on this?

[meridannight]

1. The next time I heard him in talk, though, he didn't sound gay at all (again, only in passing. I have not talked to him yet). My question is, how do you think I could go about asking him out at all without knowing whether or not he is even gay?

you can't ever know such a thing for sure until you know for sure. your only option is to just gather up your courage and ask him out. just walk up to him and try to talk to him, see how that goes and how open he is to you. then when it looks like things are good ask him if he wants to get a drink or something. it's pretty cliche, but unless you two move in the same circles where you have more creative opportunities to approach him, this is a pretty decent and safe approach.

[jimcrackcorn]

1. There's no easy way to meet this valet guy except by going up to him and ask him a couple simple questions.. I'd ask him about the restaurant - Is the food & service any good there, and mention that live next door and haven't been there yet. Keep the conversation light, friendly, and short on the first "meet & greet". Next time you see him, simply say; Hi, how's it going, and have another light ,friendly, and short "meet & greet". You may not be able to ascertain if he is gay or not during the first couple conversations, but it gives you an open to ask him out for coffee once you get to know him better.

2. If there are two guys together at a gay bar and you want to know more about them; just go up to them and say "I think you two make a cute couple". If they say they're only friends,,,, then ask if you can buy them a drink and join them.

If there is a group of gay men in a bar and you want to join them; go up and ask them if you may join them. I'd say: Hello, my name is Jim and I'm new to the area and don't know anyone yet,,, can I join you guys?

[King]

Thanks for the replies, guys! I think this is good advice.