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So I moved Country
and I am with my boy friend over a few years and I love him so much,
we talk every day on the phone, he lives back where I am from,
but since i moved, i have met a few guys,
had sex with a few too, but i still only love just him,
I can keep it from him i know this but sometimes i get so sad from this,
but i really enjoy especially one of the guys i met here , we get on very well,
but my heart only belongs too one,
He might move to stay with me at some stage and i hope it does not effect things properly for me as im worried that we will fight a-lot and that he might stress me out,]
has anyone ever experienced similar to this ?
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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May I ask why you would want to keep something important from him?
Lying is a bad road to take in any relationship.....
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I think it important you tell your boyfriend "back home" what is happening. You need to clarify your relationship before going further, and certainly before he moves to be with you.
A relationship built on dishonesty starts off in trouble.
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OMG. You may hope it doesn't "effect things properly" but I assure you it will. It already has. It's effecting you more than your BF only because you know what you're doing and he doesn't.
Decide what you want. If you want to "play around" outside the relationship and keep it a secret from your BF and potential partner, you're creating a WORLD of hurt for yourself and him. Because he WILL find out, one way or another, sooner or later. And, if it were me, I'd want to cut off your balls and shove them down your throat. NOT because you "played around" so much as the fact you are too much of a coward to tell me the truth and let me decide what I want in relation to that truth. It is disrespectful, dishonest and dishonorable. I'd *never* trust you again, about *anything*.
If you want to continue your relationship you either have to tell him what you're doing and deal with the consequences or you have to stop doing it.
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Posts: 1,725
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Ok
I am liking the advise so far, i needed some words to help me try figure out what I have got myself into
and what not,
there is alot to it all than what i wrote but its hard for me to type text it all,
thanks for taking the time to reply to me
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All I will say is IF this guy is your boyfriend he is the person you should be able to trust the most. Keeping secrets from him means you don't trust him. You will be dishonest not telling him about you being with others. Starting off dishonest means nothing will work out for the good.
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I am impress how much common sense most of the respondents have, when someone post a very difficult situation in their lives! kudos to you guys!
Personally dishonesty always ends up worse then the temporary highs it makes you feel. Secondly it brings into question the validity of integrity, not just respect but also self respect,. Third, in the long run dire consequences to one's own character. Living a life of lies is bad enough of a self inflicted punishment. Just saying!
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Good, healthy long term relationships start with honesty. If you are seriously interested in making a partnership work, everything begins with honest communication. Without honesty he can't trust you and you can't trust him.
If you want to build a good relationship, you must start talking to one another. Tell each other exactly what you want from the relationship. Define the terms of the relationship. Tell each other what you will and what you won't do to make each other happy. Ask each other what actions will hurt both of you. Find out what each of you think about your future together, and where you hope this relationship will take you, how it will fit in with each of your personal goals. Find your likenesses. Find your differences. Build a bridge between what you like and he hates, and what he likes and you hate. A relationship is back and forth communication, and both of you must be honestly satisfied with the rules with which you decide to govern your relationship.
Talk. Be honest. Be patient. Compromise. Be flexible. Find solutions, a way of life that works for both of you. Expect pain. Have a plan to deal with the rough spots. Repeat as needed.
But it all starts with telling him the truth.
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Stevie you are singing the right song. Honesty in a relationship is honesty with no other person. I mean if you're really partners, soul mates who else on earth should deserve your complete honesty?
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