Friends I interact with online are just as real as those I see in person. I don't mean everyone that might get a "friend" label -- I mean the very few that I consider true friends. It helps when we have multiple methods of communication, like emails, forum posts, and photos.
I recently had two "online friends" from another country visit in person and they were pretty much like I expected -- being together in person felt about the same except for a little bit of awkwardness with conversing in real time instead of getting a chance to edit and preview our exchanges. In both cases, I had heard their voices first. One had heard mine. All three of us (me and the two who visited) are rather shy in person and like having the time to compose a message before sending it. That's a big advantage over face-to-face.
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Elijoan Wrote:All three of us (me and the two who visited) are rather shy in person and like having the time to compose a message before sending it. That's a big advantage over face-to-face.
that's not an advantage. mistakes people make, the wrong things they say, the wrong way they say things, the unedited version is an advantage to see. people are not perfect, nor do they have to be. the edited online interaction is fake in that respect.
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meridannight Wrote:that's not an advantage. mistakes people make, the wrong things they say, the wrong way they say things, the unedited version is an advantage to see. people are not perfect, nor do they have to be. the edited online interaction is fake in that respect.
Good points. I didn't mean it was necessarily better for knowing the real person. I meant it was an advantage as a means for shy people to share certain things about themselves. Like you say, it also hides imperfections, but people who have known each other for a long time can work around that. It doesn't have to mean the interaction is less genuine. If I were to act natural, I would stop talking until I was ready and nothing would be accomplished. Online, I can set the pace and we end up interacting more often than we might in person.
Plus, people can make mistakes online. Having time to do a bit of editing doesn't erase all the flaws and idiosyncrasies.
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Online I tend to over simplify and condense what I have to say and when I reread it I can see where I did not make the point I would have made in person....
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meridannight Wrote:that's not an advantage. mistakes people make, the wrong things they say, the wrong way they say things, the unedited version is an advantage to see. people are not perfect, nor do they have to be. the edited online interaction is fake in that respect.
LOL I have definitely gotten some emails and seen some forum posts that were clearly not thought through, possibly regretted, but couldn't be unseen.
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There are people on here who I truley believe are my friends, and I have one friend from a video game I used to play obsessively who I remain in contact with and even text wi daily. I think of him as one of my best friends, though we have never met due to us living in different coasts.
~Beaux
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Elijoan Wrote:I meant it was an advantage as a means for shy people to share certain things about themselves.
If I were to act natural, I would stop talking until I was ready and nothing would be accomplished.
Online, I can set the pace and we end up interacting more often than we might in person.
Plus, people can make mistakes online. Having time to do a bit of editing doesn't erase all the flaws and idiosyncrasies.
sure, people make mistakes online too, but it's a lot harder to tell whether something is genuine or fake online. this is a lot better in real life.
as far as being shy goes -- don't you think you'd have better people skills if you were forced to interact more in person? you wouldn't have the easy way out in the form of invisible interaction, you'd have to do it for real. and that way, with time, it would get to be less intimidating for you, you'd get used to it, get to hone and perfect your skills, and you'd get better at it. behind a computer it's just an illusion of an interaction. you don't see body language. and body language is 90% of the interaction with another person.
i love the physical connection that i have with some men. this is something i never get from online communication alone. it is this physical connection that feels good. words are pretty much meaningless when compared to that.
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meridannight Wrote:sure, people make mistakes online too, but it's a lot harder to tell whether something is genuine or fake online. this is a lot better in real life.
as far as being shy goes -- don't you think you'd have better people skills if you were forced to interact more in person? you wouldn't have the easy way out in the form of invisible interaction, you'd have to do it for real. and that way, with time, it would get to be less intimidating for you, you'd get used to it, get to hone and perfect your skills, and you'd get better at it. behind a computer it's just an illusion of an interaction. you don't see body language. and body language is 90% of the interaction with another person.
i love the physical connection that i have with some men. this is something i never get from online communication alone. it is this physical connection that feels good. words are pretty much meaningless when compared to that.
Again, great points. However, I was answering the original question about it being a real friendship, not about being better or equal to face-to-face. I agree that connecting in person adds a lot to a relationship that you can't get online, but I don't think that connection is required for the friendship to be a true friendship.
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Unfortunately I've never had the chance to meet my best friend in person... YET. We're just divided by a great distance and it's not our fault we were born so far from one another, but our souls are connected regardless. I can't imagine losing that friendship just because I haven't met her.
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Friendships are how we define them. If we establish good rapport and feel close to someone, then the medium, online or offline, is just another descriptive label we attach to that friendship. Friendships range from casual to intense, and that exists both offline and online.
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