What to do???

[Steve]

...quote attributed to reaper
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So last night was the bondage club meeting. I hung out with the guy I always play with but didn't bring up the prospect of hooking up in a more vanilla way.

I can't honestly say I had no opportunity, I did in the beginning of the night when we talked alone for a while. But I didn't really want to jump right into that. I wanted to see how the night went and if this was a real possibility or good idea.

Well the night did go really well. We played as usual and a lot of people seemed to enjoy the scene. Then he played with the other regular at the club as bottom. I was involved in this scene as well as an assistant top. It was pretty fun. I edged him...and I think you can guess how that ends.

After this we were both ready to leave and were outside talking a bit. By this time I knew I did want to pursue the vanilla hookup and I was also confident he would be game.

Unfortunately a friend of his showed up so I couldn't really bring it up.

I will definitely bring it up next time and expect it to end well.

Good for you reaper. You're on the right track.

Wasn't sure if you saw this, and since I wrote it for you specifically: In All Seriousness

Good Luck!
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[reaper]

Good for you reaper. You're on the right track.

Wasn't sure if you saw this, and since I wrote it for you specifically: In All Seriousness

Good Luck!
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Thanks man, this is helpful.

[Virge]

The pictures are kinda hot... I'm a little jealous!!!

Where does the line start??? I want a turn!!!

Am I the only one who gets mental images of Borg fondling roadkill?

[Borg69]

Am I the only one who gets mental images of Borg fondling roadkill?

"Road Kill" ??? YES... you are the only one with that mental image.

[reaper]

"Road Kill" ??? YES... you are the only one with that mental image.

Nice, good to see I'm not alone in the road kill fetish.

For me it's mostly deer, but if the itch is strong enough I can settle for groundhogs.

[MikeW]

[Camfer]

Sounds like you really look forward to weekends!

[reaper]

Sounds like you really look forward to weekends!

lol, I do. Sundays are complicated...I really look forward to the club, which is immediately followed by waking up early for work...

A true love hate relationship!

[LJay]

Reaper, you are a trip!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Met for bondage night and had all the opportunity but didn't ask about vanilla.

Hmmm.

You need to ponder this question and answer it for yourself (really I don't need to know the answer).

Do you see vanilla sex as 'making love'?

If so it may mean you see vanilla or 'making love' as being a bit more special and something you would reserve for a close companion, or a lover/partner.

If this is the case then you are just making a strong line between 'just sex' and 'intimacy' based on the type of activity you do.

It may be wise to stick to this line. From what I am reading this guy is in a partnership with another fella thus most likely isn't going to be able to meet those other emotional needs that you may have from a guy who you have vanilla or make love with.

You pretty much already know that love,romance and marriage is out of the question here, or mostly out of the question. So putting your heart out there is an unwise choice.

It is not an uncommon thing for guys in the leather community/BDSM community to reserve 'making love' for just their partners and still remain wide open for exploring other sexual activities (aka Kink) with other guys. Its one of those emotional barriers that allow such things as open relationships to proceed in a healthy, non-hurtful manner.


Another aspect here is you said earlier:

"It'll be my first same sex hook up, or same sex rejection, lol. "

Rejection appears to be something you have some concern about, I wonder if you would take it more personally to be rejected for vanilla sex than to say being tied down and used to satisfy a guys lust.

Vanilla being a bit more intimate and associated with the whole 'love making' thing can have a different impact on the significance to you on what it would mean if a guy rejects you for this more intimate sort of offer.

Did that make sense?

In all honesty I would like for you to consider saving 'vanilla' activities for another guy, someone who is more special to you someone that you can connect with closer.

You are after all going to a sex club which the purpose is 'just sex'. Yeah you can meet a lot of cool guys, have friendships and possibly even meet a guy to form something more with. But this doesn't sound like the guy. He has already made a commitment with someone else.