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Getting out of a tricky situation
#1
A man in Newcastle walked into the produce section of his local ASDA
supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in
that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce.

The man was insistent that the boy ask the manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager,

"Some old bast*rd outside wants to buy half a head of lettuce."

As he finished his sentence, he turned around to find that the man had
followed and was standing right behind him, so the boy quickly added, "and
this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.

Later, the manager said to the boy...........

"I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation
earlier, we like people who can think on their feet here, where are you
from son?"

"New Zealand, sir," the boy replied.

"Why did you leave New Zealand ?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but prostitutes and rugby players
there."

"Is that right?" replied the manager, "My wife is from New Zealand!"

"Really?" replied the boy, "Who did she play for?"
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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#2
hahahahahahhahaha!
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#3
Confucius say leaving gay bath house is getting out of tricky situation.
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