Trick or Treat?

[Steve]

.
.

For Halloween I'm going to write "Life" on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers

.
.

[COLOR="Red"]

This year I'm dressing up like Angelina Jolie.

[/COLOR]
.
.

I got so sick of the trick or treaters at Halloween that I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in.
.
Fuck the ships. My lighthouse, my rules.

.
.

It's so wrong it's perfect.

.
.

For Halloween I'm going to wear a pacman suit and chase Muslim women in burkas around the town centre.

.
.

.
.

I've just phoned my senile old Gran and told her to be careful because there have been reports of flesh eating zombies trying to break into people's homes in her area. She told me that she'll load the gun and keep it by the front door just in case.
.
I fucking love Halloween.

.
.

What do you mean his name is Buck Lightyear?

.
.

It's a double rainbow!!

.
.

Went trick-or-treating last night. Every house I called at slammed the door back in my face.

.

Maybe going as a Jehovah's Witness wasn't the best idea.

.
.

I know what brown can do for me!

.
.

.
.

Halloween, an excuse for girls to not wear tampons for the day.

.
.

Zombie Audrey Hepburn

.
.

I've been invited to a Halloween fancy dress party this weekend.
I've decided to go as a Muslim with a backpack.
doesn't come much fucking scarier than that. does it?

.
.

Udder Lady

.
.

Halloween is the scariest night of the year, with the dead rising from their graves.

And fat girls thinking they look sexy dressed as cats.

.
.

[COLOR="Red"]

Pssst! My right hand is free. Ditch the newspaper.

[/COLOR]
.
.

I just saw 9 grim reapers walking down the street drinking beer.
So either it's a Halloween party or they're celebrating because somebody's cat is actually dead.

.
.

[COLOR="Red"]

You're not getting a Jeannie. I'm getting my wish.

[/COLOR]
.
.

As I walked up to my friend in my Halloween costume he seemed quite amused,
"Oh, so with the red jacket, green skin and tight trousers I'm guessing you're the zombie Michael Jackson played in the Thriller video?"
"Nope."
"Oh? So who are you?"
"Michael Jackson."

.
.

You've Got Male!

.
.

What happens when a ghost gets lost in a fog?
He's mist.

.
.

Please tell me my Apple Jacks made it?!

.
.

An old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time decided to dress up and go out.
The old woman went into her bedroom, stripped naked and tied a lemon between her legs.
When she came out, the old man cried, "You can't go out like that!"
She said, "I can go anyway I like and so can you."
Whereupon he retired to the bedroom and came out stark raving naked with a potato tied to his tallywhacker.
The old woman says, you're going out like that?"
And he replies, "Yep, if you can go as a sour-puss, I can go as a dick-tator.

.
.

You did order extra meat, right?

.
.

I’d dress up as Siri for Halloween if my life didn’t already entail being asked stupid questions all day

.
.

Fuck Halloween.

.
.

.

.
.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Best costume ever!

[palbert]

Cute ideas

[StingRay]

Dam! How the hell havent I ever thought of this? I might have to do something like this next year