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Soul Searching
#11
Good luck on your journey of becoming the person who you are meant to be.
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#12
You don't need to apologize for speaking your heart, especially when it is so poignant. Best wishes on the journey. The only thing I can think to say of any true importance to me is that you have lived with this matter for many years and if you are certain you enjoy being a man (since you look SO FREAKING good at it) you can endure the journey of discovery ahead with your head held high. Thank you for putting it out here for us, your GS family. Much love and hugs as you adjust more and more. Bighug
Heart  Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection!  Heart
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#13
Thanks to everyone for being so cool to me about this and understanding. I really do appreciate that. I actually in the lasy couple of days have come out to my birth mom as being transgender and about three other friends and I have heard back from one and he is cool adn understanding as well. He told me a year or two back that he was HIV and I felt good that he could confide in me so I though who better to tell that I am transgender than him and I am glad that I did.
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#14
I can't see why anyone here would be apt to judge you. This is one of those personal decisions that people here have every reason to respect. To one extent or the other we have all that others would judge us, but this is one place where those feelings just don't seem to float.

Think it out and do what is best for you. We are here and will be here if you need someone to share with.
I bid NO Trump!
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#15
Glad to hear you're coming further out to yourself an others and discovering what is right for you. I don't think anyone here is going to give you any flack. I know we have a third gender member -- probably others with various degrees of gender awareness. It's good that you're getting support from people on other forums you recognize as companions. Keep coming back and telling us what's going on in your world.
.
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#16
For majority of us, the moment if truth about our sexuality has been painful. However, the realization of one's true self turns out to be a truly liberating and powerful piece of self awareness that changes one's life forever.
Best of luck..
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#17
Transgender people are welcome on this forum, in fact, there are transgender options available in the drop down menu for the description under the picture.

You've been doing a lot of soul searching, and I wish you luck on the new path you are about to travel down.

Your first step should be to find a therapist who will be able to guide you, and help you understand the changes you will experience should you decide to transition.
[Image: 51806835273_f5b3daba19_t.jpg]  <<< It's mine!
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#18
Wow! I didn't see that coming.

Here's my two cents: You mentioned a failed gay relationship in your past, and after that you seemed to kinda give up on them. Women do seem to have it better. They can dress sexy. Their clothes and shoes and accessories are fun and varied compared to guys clothes. Attractive women have guys flocking to them effortlessly. In a grass is greener standpoint from where you've removed yourself from dating guys and sequestered yourself at the Grand Canyon where no gays can find you, a woman's life would look utopian.

Confession: years ago some friends and I got into doing drag. At first it WAS fun! The clothes, shoes, accessories, recreating ourselves how we thought our inner diva's were. It was exciting to be able to go out and be someone else for a night. Guys hit on me whom normally wouldn't give me the time of day. Hot guys. Straight guys. Lesbians. The sudden attention was overwhelming.

Ultimately, in my case I knew it wasn't real. What they were attracted to was a fantasy. Not the REAL me. I think to a greater extent I was jealous of "her". She was pretty. Flirty. Outgoing. Sexy. Forward. Flashy. Everything *I* am not. Being her was a fun escape, but I couldn't hide out there forever.

I guess my advice is to not hide from life. Get out of the Canyon. Your a very attractive guy with a lot of enviable traits. If you're serious about this, try drag. You might see the grass isn't as green as you thought after walking in their shoes.
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#19
I have nothing judgmemtal to say. If you ask around you'll find out there's a transgender geologist out of either Boulder or Denver who's well known and very active in your area. I don't have her name right now but will get it when I go back to school and try to remember to PM it to you.
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#20
Alright. Then go to a psychologist (not a psychiatrist) and explore this.

Its too easy to see 'our self' in stuff on the net and assume that that means we are X.

You're 40 years old and have recently started doing things atypical of the past 40 years. While this could be the road to self discovery, it could also be the road to something less healthy and helpful.

Start with a Google search: https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=Col...ransgender

Find one or more in your local area, and go visit, get to know them, see if you can work with one to see where you really are.
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