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Just told the first person I'm Gay....
#1
Hello GS.

I've been posting here for a very short time. About 6 weeks ago I allowed myself to take an honest look within in regards to my sexuality.

My method of exploration took place at a gay bondage club...I know, the same old typical stroy.

After I attended the first time, I've been back each week consistently. About 6 weeks as previously mentioned.

During this time I transitioned from curious to gay. I think about 3 weeks ago I was not longer unsure, I knew where I stood.

I'm 100% comfortalbe with this. No issues of guilt, worry, or anything like that.

It's just what is.

I'm at my parents for the weekend. I got here earlier today and talked with my aunt (who is my age and also in a same sex relationship)

The seed of this initial exploration began with her. We were talking one night and she was asking me about myself.

I asked her if she though I was gay. She said no, but that if we were in a culture that didn't juge or stigmatize it, she thought it may be something I could possibly be open to.

I'd never had a conversation like this with anyone, but we are really close so I was very comfortable with it all. When I honestly thought about what she said, I told her that may be true. I wasn't sure, but it was possible. Then I asked if it should be something I shold explore. She said that was really up to me.

Months pass by, but I think back to this now and then.

I decide to go forward and dive into this thing a bit deeper. I'm not sure exactly how or when, but I decide I will.

So I go to the club and return weekly...

No one in my life knows any of this. But now that I know, I want to tell some close to me.

Earlier I arrived at my parents house, no one was here but my aunt. We're siting at the talbe. I ask her if she remembers our converation about my sexuality.

She says she does.

I say, remember I said I may find my own way to explore it. Well I have...and I'm a gay. (no typo, these are my exact words)

She starts hysterical laughing at the way I told her. And I tell her about the club...sort of...I mention the club, and me going every week, but not the kind of club it is. I was telling as much truth as possible, with a little whitewashing.

My mom is next of the list, a lot of people are here now, but I will try to tell her later if possible.

Of course, I will not mention the Bondage Club. The gay bomb is enough, mentioning the bondage stuff makes it more like Shock And Awe!

I will report back with an update later once mom knows her son's not a breeder, lol.

Not to bad, I realize I'm gay a few weeks back and I'm already letting others know.

That club, some guys I know there, and this forum have made this soooo much easire then I thought possible.

So thanks for that!
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#2
Congratulations on the maturity of your journey. An example of responsible self-exploration. Best of luck to you.
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#3
Congratulations and good for you!

I'd like to hear more about how you've felt, sexually, up until you discovered your gayness. It seems odd, to me, that it takes an aunt mentioning the fact that not being straight is an option, before you explore it.
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#4
Cuddly Wrote:Congratulations and good for you!

I'd like to hear more about how you've felt, sexually, up until you discovered your gayness. It seems odd, to me, that it takes an aunt mentioning the fact that not being straight is an option, before you explore it.

Good question.

I always knew I didn't feel the way most guys did towards women. I didn't really connect with them the way I felt I should. I honestly thought that I was more asexual. That I, for whatever reason, just didn't have the drive or the interest.

My aunt (sister) is a lot like me in many ways. She had the same experience as me. She was usually single even though she is very attractive. Then, in her mid thirties she ended up in a same sex relationship. She never thought she was gay until that point. It just happened, she fell in love and it was clear.

Me being so much like her probably led her to have this talk with me.

I've always connected better with guy, was closer to guys, but I never really thought I was sexually attracted to them. I've had a lot of male best friends, some very good looking...but I never thought to myself...man, I wish I could be with him.

I'm a man of my culture...maybe for that reason I never allowed myself to even consider this. If this is the case, it happened on a deeper level I was unawre of.

My conversation with her didn't make me see my gayness. It only opened my mind to the possibility of it. Something I never trutly considered, but something that made sense.

I don't live in a city, I don't have gay friends, I don't think I even know any gay guys. I went to the club to see what it was like, how I felt, and if I felt a connection with the whole atmosphere of it.

I did. I ended up kissing some dude last week, and I wouldn't have known this till that point, but it was probably the most comfortable kiss I was ever a part of.
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#5
Awesome! Smile

But what *are* you doing to that poor creature in your avatar? :eek:
.
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#6
MikeW Wrote:Awesome! Smile

But what *are* you doing to that poor creature in your avatar? :eek:

lol, I pulled him out of the water and took a pic. I let him go unharmed of course right away. I just wanted to hold him.
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#7
Reaper my mother and I are very close! so for me it was very easy to come out to her! actually I even hate using that term! one day while we both were watching TV together in the Living room. I casually told her I was more interested in boys then girls! I must admit it took me more time to fully accept this new found fact about myself, mainly because I wasn't too happy with the choices of quality gay men to date, or be in a relationship around my age at the time! If you have a good relationship with your mom and the rest of the family, I can assure you it would feel quite liberating for you and your love ones to know!
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#8
LEANDRONJ Wrote:Reaper my mother and I are very close! so for me it was very easy to come out to her! actually I even hate using that term! one day while we both were watching TV together in the Living room. I casually told her I was more interested in boys then girls! I must admit it took me more time to fully accept this new found fact about myself, mainly because I wasn't too happy with the choices of quality gay men to date, or be in a relationship around my age at the time! If you have a good relationship with your mom and the rest of the family, I can assure you it would feel quite liberating for you and your love ones to know!

Yeah, I'm very close with my mother as well. It won't be difficult to tell her. It won't be a big deal either. Telling my aunt was easy, we had a good laugh.
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#9
reaper Wrote:Good question.

I always knew I didn't feel the way most guys did towards women. I didn't really connect with them the way I felt I should. I honestly thought that I was more asexual. That I, for whatever reason, just didn't have the drive or the interest.

My aunt (sister) is a lot like me in many ways. She had the same experience as me. She was usually single even though she is very attractive. Then, in her mid thirties she ended up in a same sex relationship. She never thought she was gay until that point. It just happened, she fell in love and it was clear.

Me being so much like her probably led her to have this talk with me.

I've always connected better with guy, was closer to guys, but I never really thought I was sexually attracted to them. I've had a lot of male best friends, some very good looking...but I never thought to myself...man, I wish I could be with him.

I'm a man of my culture...maybe for that reason I never allowed myself to even consider this. If this is the case, it happened on a deeper level I was unawre of.

My conversation with her didn't make me see my gayness. It only opened my mind to the possibility of it. Something I never trutly considered, but something that made sense.

I don't live in a city, I don't have gay friends, I don't think I even know any gay guys. I went to the club to see what it was like, how I felt, and if I felt a connection with the whole atmosphere of it.

I did. I ended up kissing some dude last week, and I wouldn't have known this till that point, but it was probably the most comfortable kiss I was ever a part of.

I was the opposite. Before I rationally realized I was gay, looking back in hind sight I can now realize being sexually attracted to friends/strangers. I also jerked off thinking about them, but rationalized it as hero worship, low self esteem, envy... Even when I did sleep with women, I didn't fantasize they were guys, but that I was some hot guy I knew that was screwing them... thinking about how he might be moving and what he'd be feeling.

Odd... I know. It's funny what the mind can do to rationalize a situation where you're in denial or just plain obtuse to the facts. I grew up so sheltered gays were only a slur straight guys called each other, and were as mythical as unicorns. REAL people didn't do those things! Not REALLY!

But yes... I had desires for men, even if I didn't know what to call it at the time.
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#10
All the best, Reaper. You are a bright guy and I think you will be able to deal with this well. You are very lucky to have you aunt to talk with if needed. Looking forward to more good news.
I bid NO Trump!
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