Casual sex

[meridannight]

well, your options are:
--wait till you meet a guy you'll get into a relationship with
--have sex now

even if your partner shows you clinical results of his STD panel there's no way for you to ever know for sure that he isn't carrying anything. you could get hit by a car outside the walls of your home too, but does that stop you from leaving your house? it's kind of ridiculous. you want sex, the only way to get it is actually going out there and doing it with another guy. it does not come to you.

and we've all had thoughts about STDs. educate yourself on the subject. you aren't gonna contract STDs out of thin air. different ones are contracted through different routes and the probabilities also vary depending on the type of intercourse. at 24 you should know this already.

[spilovn]

Go for it, sometimes casual sex can lead to more, its the ultimate ice breaker, just be careful, use protection. Older gay guys always take about hiv/aids, its depressing, just because they had so much unprotected sex in filthy leather bars in the 70’s with just about anybody, our generation is supposed to stay celebate and have no fun because they had no limits and gave us this gift!

[Rareboy]

^ Well part of that is a bit of a ridiculous statement.

I'm one of the 'old' guys who survived lots of unprotected sex in the 70's and early 80's....I suspect I would have died, but I happened to meet my partner of the past 33 years just as the storm broke.

I am always a little sad to see how uptight and prudish so many young guys are about sex and both my LTR's started in bed.

Obviously now, people need to play safe until in a monogamous relationship....hardly the same as being celibate.

But at the end of the day, STI's can happen. So get tested and then treated. HIV can still happen, but it isn't the death sentence it was back in the 1980's and 90's.

Casual sex can lead to making friends and to becoming a practised and expert partner in bed. It can also help you realize when you find real magic with someone.

[Steve]

Too much thinking can be dangerous.

OMG LJay! You just said a damn mouthful!! Excellent observation. While it's good to be thoughtful and knowledgeable, people spend way to much time and energy trying to reinvent the screw (pardon the pun).

I think you need to ask yourself: were you originally pursuing relationships for the sex? Or do just want sex, period?

Casual sex is fine, but be prepared for the small chance of feeling empty afterwards when you realize or learn that you need the emotional aspect after all...

Double D gives great...advice.
As you can see from the responses, some guys lurve a casual bone, and other guys are uncomfortable embracing the inner slut. No judgement, as coarsely as I phrase it, there's nothing wrong with the idea of "make your own kind of music" (re: Google Mama's and Papa's). I'm only poking fun when I'm that crass (And I so do love to "poke fun").
As Dean pointed out though, don't discount the emotional aspects that pop up even if it is only casual sex. There most probably will be times when you find that you feel empty afterward, that you regret the encounter (for a variety of reasons), or that you longed for a one night stand to be more than what it was.

well, your options are:
--wait till you meet a guy you'll get into a relationship with
--have sex now

even if your partner shows you clinical results of his STD panel there's no way for you to ever know for sure that he isn't carrying anything. you could get hit by a car outside the walls of your home too, but does that stop you from leaving your house? it's kind of ridiculous. you want sex, the only way to get it is actually going out there and doing it with another guy. it does not come to you.

and we've all had thoughts about STDs. educate yourself on the subject. you aren't gonna contract STDs out of thin air. different ones are contracted through different routes and the probabilities also vary depending on the type of intercourse. at 24 you should know this already.

More great advice from meridannight. You'll never experience life if you're too afraid to live it. As long as you've done some homework regarding STD's, you're thoughtful about your emotional health, and you're as careful not to drag a serial killer looking to add to his trophy testicle treasure collection, you'll be fine. A little common sense goes a long way.

Go for it, sometimes casual sex can lead to more, its the ultimate ice breaker, just be careful, use protection. Older gay guys always take about hiv/aids, its depressing, just because they had so much unprotected sex in filthy leather bars in the 70’s with just about anybody, our generation is supposed to stay celebate and have no fun because they had no limits and gave us this gift!

Hmmm....
I do agree with you: An immediate dive to smoke the pole, planting a tree for Israel, or lifting your legs to jesus are definitely the most decisive ultimate ice breakers.

As one of those older gay guys, we bring up the subject of the danger of unprotected sex because most of us have attended far too many funerals of people we loved. Watching a robust, larger than life, beautiful person wither into a husk, waiting and wishing his next breathe is his last because he's too damned tired of facing the emotional stigma, physical personal shunning, shoving pills that make him wretch, and gut wrenching pain is impossible to forget.

While I sympathize with you feeling the depression overload spilovn, it is a subject brought up to remind people that no matter how lustrous Magic Johnson's rose of perfect health looks like, HIV/AIDS has complicated his life significantly. While it may not be the automatic death sentence it once was, there are no guarantee's in this life.

I'm also not fond of how you characterize my generation. Gay people aren't responsible for HIV/AIDS because we were reckless and knew no limits. Blaming my generation for contracting and dying from that illness is disingenuous at best. It was no more a gift for us than it is for anyone. It was (and still is) a horror story that never ended.

I'm pretty sure reading the replies here that no one has advocated celibacy for all lest you fu*k the wring person and your arm falls off. As someone who had far too much fun in more than one back room of a leather bar, took home far too many tricks from Rage and Scene 1 among many other bars, and someone who passed out in the alley behind Hollywood & Vine after tricking with guys doing booze, weed, and 'shrooms, I'm not pious enough to preach unyielding abstinence. I'm lucky as hell to be HIV negative. And this stupid bareback revolution has pissed me off to the nth degree. At least this generation has the benefit of choosing safe sex based upon my generation's unknowing stumble into incurable death.

Sorry spilovn, I'm don't mean to hang my past experience on you. I know what you meant when you posted, however ineloquently written. As depressing as it is, we both know why people caution others about the dangers of unprotected sex. Your post just struck a raw nerve. My apologies if I've been too harsh.

[spilovn]

No, thanks steve, i know what your saying, i knew my post would strike some raw nerve. The truth is maybe im a bit biased because somebody who contracted in from the 70’s leather scene tried to give it to me, just to say i lived in fear for 6 months and by the time i took the test i was thinking about suicide if it was positive, even if it wasnt death sentance it once was, i couldnt live with it and i knew he got it from that time he just told me casually, can you believe it, i still cant. (i dont make habit of letting old guys perform oral sex on me, he was helping me because i was homeless)

It made me mad thinking i had it because of some leather bar in the late 70’s (in new york, not even uk) where everybody was fucking everybody all the time and i got it from one solitary regretfull mistake.

I couldnt even bring myself to read up about it online because i was so scared, in the end i had no choice because i was making myself ill. It was negative and i was elated

I know your generation is not responsible for creating it, i think the first case of hiv was found in a man in congo 1951 but most people who have it now can trace it back to the 70’s not the 50’s, know what i mean