Bullying

[supasyd]

Hi. Firstly, im sorry for coming back here again with more problems. After having a really rough summer with severe depression I was looking forward to starting my second year at uni...but my only friend from last year started being really mean to me for no reason from day one, and she is constantly attacking me verbally and starting arguments with me whenever I walk in the kitchen/lounge. She has half the housr backing her and I just feel really crappy, because they all think im a 'sket' with no class or social skills...and im sad and angry because its true because I got bullied sll through school and college and now I just know im going to be hated everywhere I go for the rest of my life. Ive stopped eating because I dread going into the kitchen and I just don't know if I can do this all year. I really don't know what to do or how to change

[Rareboy]

And she was your friend????

You need to sit down with here and ask her why she is doing this to you....although I can tell you that she is doing it because of her own insecurities and need to fit in. She must be one insecure and immature child to be doing this in second year college.

I suspect that she is one of those annoyingly stupid people who think that every group living situation is supposed to be like Big Brother...with non-stop drama and bullying and games.

If she has half the house behind her, what about the other half of the house? You only need one or two other allies. You may need to all call her out on this behaviour. someone needs to tell her to grow the fuck up.

You are not going to be hated for the rest of your life...but pack mentality often means that the alphas will gang up on the less assertive and more fragile. You do not have to enable them.

If she seems pathologically determined to be be mean and miserable....just put as much distance as possible between the two of you and speak to someone who might be able to get you moved to a different house. Or someone with more seniority needs to call everyone together and explain that you are all not stars in the reality show of your own lives.

And set yourself the task of toughening yourself up for bullies. It is the best revenge. At least I found it was.

[supasyd]

Thank you so much for replying. I don't understand people at all. Its not just in the house either. Even at my classes I'm made to feel like an outsider. I've tried all my life to toughen up but I just can't do it. I don't understand what is wrong with me but I feel like I was born on the wrong planet. There is a girl in my house who I get on with. She's an outsider also but people are actually nice to her because she's a likable person. If I'm still getting this everywhere I go even as an adult what hope is there for me?

[BlueStar]

Please stop hating yourself and have high self-confidence. Is she worth you stop eating and deteriorate your health??
Calm down, take a breath. The half bullshit doesn't mean you're gonna be hated forever.
Stop being so pessimistic. I, too, thought at some point there won't be any hope for me, until I found the ultimate solutions. No, I'm not saying suicide or any self-harm, but the idea that I simply don't belong in certain communities. So every time I look forward to change... and change.
A small advice (it may be useless): if you're extrovert and have cold nerves, make fun of them when they make fun of you in a funny way. Lol that's what I do, just saying...

Sorry for being mean...

[spilovn]

punch her in the face.

No dont do that but it would be good.

So do it.

Im really sorry, i hate hearing about bullying knowing theres nothing i can do but all i can say is try an leave that house and if your a sket then some people do like you, dont you know anybody who could stand up for you on this?

but dont think your alone or your going to be hated the rest of your life because thats not true.

[supasyd]

Im very extroverted when things are going well but now I just hibernate in my room. When I argue back it just makes things even worse. I don't know if ill have the same problems if I move to a different house. I'm usually friendly but that doesn't work with anyone. I know I should have a better self esteem or whatever, but its kinda hard to build when everyone seems to go out of their way to remind me how terrible I am. I'm not sure what I can do.

[supasyd]

oh you know what i just looked at your profile and your far left, i couldnt care less anymore.

This is exactly what I mean. Everywhere I go

[BlueStar]

Im very extroverted when things are going well but now I just hibernate in my room. When I argue back it just makes things even worse. I don't know if ill have the same problems if I move to a different house. I'm usually friendly but that doesn't work with anyone. I know I should have a better self esteem or whatever, but its kinda hard to build when everyone seems to go out of their way to remind me how terrible I am. I'm not sure what I can do.

The key to building high self-esteem is not based on how much you're loved, but on how much you can withstand hatred. When people throw rocks at you, instead of being harmed, use these rocks to build your strength. Personally, I always prefer to have a lot of people who despise me for who I am than people who love me for what they're expecting from me. Take that in consideration, and if you'll be online on GS this week you're gonna read what I'm currently dealing with, so maybe I can help you one way or another. Just saying... have hope you'll get what you deserve in the end

[spilovn]

This is exactly what I mean. Everywhere I go

yes but not many people will hate you because you view yourself as far left, in fact its probably good because if your right you have to deal with people hating you.

I deleted that message because i didnt really mean it. Soz

[Wolfpack]

Sorry to hear that you are having a really tough time. Can you ignore this person that is bullying you and just walk away as to not to engage them, if the bullying gets worse can you report this person?

Yes you are having a tough time at the moment but you have become your own worse enemy. Isolating yourself and not eating properly will not help it will only make you feel worse as will telling yourself that you going to be hated for the rest of your life, this is hardly going to be true. Some people like us and some do not no matter how we try, yes we would like to be liked by everyone but sadly this can never happen that is just how life is.

Are you getting treatment or help with your depression? If not then I really think you need too.

Hard as it may be try to stay strong and start by learning to love yourself a little bit more.