Bob and Betty Hill

[LONDONER]

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe... as it happens, near Transylvania . They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree.

Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance.

Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and knocks.

A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?"

"I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in and I will get him!" Bob brings his wife in.

An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist... However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do.. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.

After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.

The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano.. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music.. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight!

Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory.

He bursts in and shouts to his master:






"Master, Master! ..... The Hills are alive, with the sound of music !"




Well, what did you expect...?

IT’S ALMOST HALLOWEEN!!!

[Steve]

"Master, Master! ..... The Hills are alive, with the sound of music !"

Funny as fuck. Sending this to my partner.

[palbert]

Oh, no - did I follow that right on in - YEP

[Rareboy]

I kept thinking that I'd keep up with where it was going......good one.

[BlueStar]

However creepy pumpkins



will only invade me on the night of December 3rd...

Err I know

[MikeW]

I knew Bob and Betty Hill. They were my next door neighbors between 1984 and 1986. I was in my mid-thirties and Bob and Betty were in their 60s. A rather cantankerous couple and generally disliked by everyone in the neighborhood. The houses in the area were on a hillside and close together, as most Bay Area houses are. The side windows of their house looked out onto the roof of the one I was renting.

One day as I was going down the steps from our front, Bob was sitting on their porch and said, "Hey, you know your damn cats are shitting up on your roof?" Many Bay Area houses have flat roofs, as ours did, with a bit of gravel on it. Apparently our two cats, Grindle and Orange, had discovered the roof and found it to be a perfect and immense letterbox.

"Oh?," I said.

"Yeah, they go up there every day and take a shit," Bob said with obvious annoyance and discust.

"Well, Bob, I don't know what you want me to do about that."

"You could shoot 'em," Bob shot back.

Needless to say, I was a bit taken aback, although anything Bob might say wouldn't surprise me overly much.

About this time Betty came out the door, having heard Bob's angry tone.

"Bob, you're just ugly," Betty said.

"Betty, you're full of more shit than those god damned cats," Bill retorted.

Betty sniffed, "No, Bob, you're just ugly. Ugly, ugly, ugly," and with that pronouncement she went back into the house, closing the screen door behind her.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with that woman," Bob muttered in a gravely tone.

"Well, you could shoot her!" I offered.

Bob looked at me sternly for a second or two, chewing on his cigar, with no readable expression on his face. I could see, though, he was giving the prospect serious consideration but wasn't inclined to reply. So, I went on my way down the steps, wishing him to have a nice day.

[Wolfpack]

Hehe, I like it