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Is it normal that I'm attracted to middle-age guys when I'm 20?
#1
Don't get me wrong I'm not just sexually attracted to middle age guys [I define this as guys in their 30s and 40s] (I'm 20) but I seem to find them more appealing.
I'm not sure what to do because I honestly don't think a romantic relationship with such an age gap would work. My parents are in their 40s (I don't see my dad) so it'd also be weird to have a boyfriend with someone old enough to be my dad.
This attraction may have to do with me not having a father figure in my life but I'm not sure.
The male figure has always caught my eye even at a young age even if I didn't understand it then.
Is this just the equivalent of a straight guy finding an older woman hot or is this not normal for a gay guy? Trust me I know it's not just a 'I wish I had a body like that' kind of thing. It's more like a sexual thing.
I should probably note that I'm also romantically attracted to guys who would be the man of the relation or straight-acting if that makes sense so perhaps it has to with that... I don't know.
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#2
A couple of things...

1) I don't consider people in their 30s to be middle-aged. I'd say 40s and 50s are middle-aged.

2) You are attracted to who you're attracted to. I chalk this up to just sexual/romantic/platonic interests and preferences. I don't think there has to be any underlying "daddy issues". Smile
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#3
It's not weird. Every person has a different thing that attracts them to people. There are tons of young men who are attracted to older men. In fact, there is sexual fantasy that has the partners playing a father and son role. Sometimes, people will hunt for daddy types or son types, look at craigslist's, you'll find a few ads using those terms.

It happens that you find older men more attractive. Any relationship will have hurtles. Age difference can be overcome. Age is just a number. It only becomes a problem if you guys allow it to become a problem. Sometimes, you won't get a generational reference but hell, I don't get some of my generational references either.

Also, by what you said at the end, you're attracted to very dominant masculine men or men on the DL (Down Low), which is also not uncommon. Once again, it's not weird. Different things float people's boat.
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#4
There was a discussion about this a couple of weeks ago. Maybe someone can link you to it.

You're normal. BTW there are a lot of guys in LTRs with 20ish year age differences. Tom Daley is 20.. his BF Dustin Lance Black is 40. .. and they're just one of the famous couples.
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#5
Why wouldn't you be? We ARE pretty damn awesome. Smile

Lex
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#6
LOL 30 Middle oh my god hahahaha, Middle age is 50 and over, 40 isn't even middle age
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#7
CuriousPhoenix Wrote:It happens that you find older men more attractive. Any relationship will have hurtles. Age difference can be overcome. Age is just a number. It only becomes a problem if you guys allow it to become a problem. Sometimes, you won't get a generational reference but hell, I don't get some of my generational references either.
.
No my friend age isn't just a number, otherwise claiming this means that someone over 60 lurking a 16 years old boy is nothing to worry about because AGE is just a number Right? Well, once you have passed a certain age, yes some tent to believe that age isn't important, but age isn't just a number, it's an experience, it's knowledge, it's more than just mathematical.
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#8
Jake Wrote:No my friend age isn't just a number, otherwise claiming this means that someone over 60 lurking a 16 years old boy is nothing to worry about because AGE is just a number Right? Well, once you have passed a certain age, yes some tent to believe that age isn't important, but age isn't just a number, it's an experience, it's knowledge, it's more than just mathematical.

This is my issue, honestly, I'd be more romantically attracted to someone around the same age as me for me. It's not that I don't find any guys my age good looking or anything.
I was just worried about my attraction to older guys.
Also, my apology for misusing the word middle-age but I was just trying come up with the best term for the age range that I'm attracted to.
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#9
tyler94 Wrote:This is my issue, honestly, I'd be more romantically attracted to someone around the same age as me for me. It's not that I don't find any guys my age good looking or anything.
I was just worried about my attraction to older guys.

Well Tyler, it's okay to be attracted to someone older, I'm older than my husband by 10 years and I met him I was 29 and he was 19. However, make sure that you are going for someone older for the right reasons, I've read the part where you say that you didn't have a father figure, but this really isn't much what attract you, you're just attracted to mature men and there's nothing wrong about this at all.

So don't beat your head over this and avoid Craiglist lol, please. Don't make up reasons to explain why you are attracted to older men, you are and that's the end of it. Now act upon it and find yourself a good and respectable man. And beside, you're a young adult, it's not like you're 16 years old.

And well if your attraction is purely sexual, trust me there a lot of older men who'd be just fine with it.
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#10
Jake Wrote:Well Tyler, it's okay to be attracted to someone older, I'm older than my husband by 10 years and I met him I was 29 and he was 19. However, make sure that you are going for someone older for the right reasons, I've read the part where you say that you didn't have a father figure, but this really isn't much what attract you, you're just attracted to mature men and there's nothing wrong about this at all.

So don't beat your head over this and avoid Craiglist lol, please. Don't make up reasons to explain why you are attracted to older men, you are and that's the end of it. Now act upon it and find yourself a good and respectable man. And beside, you're a young adult, it's not like you're 16 years old.

And well if your attraction is purely sexual, trust me there a lot of older men who'd be just fine with it.
Trust me... I'm looking for an actual relationship and I'm not someone to have an one time hookup or be sex buddies.
I'm just not sure the power balance wouldn't be entirely stable in a relationship like that for me but I guess I can try i and maybe i'll be totally wrong and find the perfect man..
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