Hi I'm new

[Councilskivvy]

Hi, I have what a bit of problem. I recently moved into a flat where my roommate who I've known for a while is gay, and we have always got on. A week ago, I had a huge row my g/friend and she stormed off, saying it's over. I was angry and upset, so me and my flat mate went out drinking, when we got home, we both said we weren't tired and sat up chatting and watching TV, next thing I know we were kissing and then we had the most amazing sex, now yes I had a few pints but was no where near being drunk. The thing is I’m not sure how it happened, but I’m fairly sure I am the one who started things.

I don't know what came over me, next day my girlfriend came round and we made up. The thing is whilst I love her, since that night I am starting to find my attraction to her diminishing; to the point I told we needed a break whilst I clear my head. If I’m totally honest actually it's more like my attraction to all women has diminished; and I have found my myself eyeing up guys, What’s going on help?

[sparky71]

There could be two things going on here, either your'e just attracted to men in general(and youv'e only just fully realised this) or youv'e realised that you might be bi sexual. It is very difficult to explore your'e sexuality in a relationship because you basically end up worrying about your'e partner feelings(and lets face it worrying that they find out). Exactly the samr thing happened to me when I was in a university, I had a steady girlfriend and suddenly realized I had feelings for men. This was a very confusing time for me and no amount advice seemed to help. I guess the only thing I could do at the time was to split up with my girlfriend and try to sort my head out. There was a book recomended to me by a shrink I had at the time called the "beatifull room is empty" by Edmund White and this helped me a great deal(you can probably get it off Amazon). Its basically a novel about a man exploring his feelings for other men(let me know if you find it usefull) and everyone who I recommend it to in youre position have fond it helpfull in helping them explore their feelings. I sincerely hope you find a solution to your'e predicament and if you can keep in touch with this website, Ive definately found it has helpled me.

[zeon]

Hi, I have what a bit of problem. I recently moved into a flat where my roommate who I've known for a while is gay, and we have always got on. A week ago, I had a huge row my g/friend and she stormed off, saying it's over. I was angry and upset, so me and my flat mate went out drinking, when we got home, we both said we weren't tired and sat up chatting and watching TV, next thing I know we were kissing and then we had the most amazing sex, now yes I had a few pints but was no where near being drunk. The thing is I’m not sure how it happened, but I’m fairly sure I am the one who started things.

I don't know what came over me, next day my girlfriend came round and we made up. The thing is whilst I love her, since that night I am starting to find my attraction to her diminishing; to the point I told we needed a break whilst I clear my head. If I’m totally honest actually it's more like my attraction to all women has diminished; and I have found my myself eyeing up guys, What’s going on help?

Hiya,
By sounds of it it could be a guilt trip.. When having rows with partners unless you forgive and forget and build bridges which requires both parties getting envoled you tend to find that the love that was there ceases to exist.. However this thing with the guy.. Having argued with your girlfriend he shouldnt have taken the oppetunity on this to make ya get into bed with him because you had a row with ya girlfriend he should have made ya need a hug or something... However needing the urge now for the guy having experienced it for the first time can be craving for more.. Let your mind clear first before deciding whether to eye up guys or not as it may be a temporarily feeling your experiencing in a state of confusion over your current relationship

Kindest regards and best wishes

Zeon X

[Phil]

Dood if i was in yer shoes i wouldn't pidgeonhole meself ...if yer "on a break" from yer gal take the oppurtunity to go meet some new friends see who ya relate too and were yer attractions are wether it be guys gals or both only you can decide!

[XRIMO]

Hello councilskivvy and welcome.

Thats quite the predicament. Truly, you have to figure out for yourself where your attractions lie. There's really nothing I can say that will enduse a major epiphany in you, only you can do that.

[Shadow]

Hi, I have what a bit of problem. I recently moved into a flat where my roommate who I've known for a while is gay, and we have always got on. A week ago, I had a huge row my g/friend and she stormed off, saying it's over. I was angry and upset, so me and my flat mate went out drinking, when we got home, we both said we weren't tired and sat up chatting and watching TV, next thing I know we were kissing and then we had the most amazing sex, now yes I had a few pints but was no where near being drunk. The thing is I’m not sure how it happened, but I’m fairly sure I am the one who started things.

I don't know what came over me, next day my girlfriend came round and we made up. The thing is whilst I love her, since that night I am starting to find my attraction to her diminishing; to the point I told we needed a break whilst I clear my head. If I’m totally honest actually it's more like my attraction to all women has diminished; and I have found my myself eyeing up guys, What’s going on help?

Do you have a naturally fiery relationship with your girlfriend ? Do you make up and break up quite a bit ? The reason I ask is that if it's natural for her to stomp off and say it's over and then for you two to make up later, then I'd suggest one possible reason for your having experimented with your gay mate; and if it's the first time she's ever done anything LIKE that, then I'd suggest a different reason for the same thing ...

Not that either really matters in the grand scheme of things, as you guys have now patched things up, so you need to determine whether :-

1) This incident was just a flash-in-the-pan experience that won't happen again;

2) It's whet your appetite and you want to keep on testing the waters, but you don't want to hurt your girlfriend;

3) Same as 2) but you're indifferent towards hurting her; or

4) You want to break-off your relationship with her, to dive headfirst into the deep blue ocean.

It sounds to me like you're in 2), and so giving yourself a breather from your girlfriend is a wise move, as it affords you a little window of time and space within which to collect your thoughts, assess where you want to go and so on and so forth, WITHOUT running the risk of hurting her.

My analysis, for what it's worth, is that it sounds like you were in a bad way emotionally, you were burnt-up about your argument with her, and that she'd reacted so strongly and decided to end things between you two, and one thing just led to another ... you needed emotional support and that was offered, and one thing just led to another - it's nothing to be ashamed of or upset about babe - if anything it's opened your eyes to a multitude of other possibilities out there, which can't be a bad thing, as it has shown you that happiness for you might lie down one of a number of paths, rather than the one path you were walking before ...

I hope that makes some sense - as sparky71 has already said, please do stick around 'coz I'm sure I speak for everybody here when I say that we're more than happy to help.

.

Chin up - we'll look after ya xx.

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!