WTF am i impotent?

[Anonymous]

Sup guys, hey has any Of you been wanting to top your couples but when the moment comes your dick goes soft?? Its sooo stressful, he has been acting cool about and whenever i "fail " se just turns and i get bottomed, wich is veeery good. I love him, love his body and would love to top him, actually i managed to do It once and he creamed with no hands, but since that day i havent been able. Ever been there guys? Thx alot

[MikeW]

You may be more of a bottom than a top. It may be you need "extra stimulation" of some sort. There are all kinds of things to try: Would it help to try different positions? Would watching a porn vid at the same time help? Would a cock-ring help? Would viagra or similar help? Since this is something you WANT to do my suggestion is to just try different things.

I find there are some body types that bring out the top in me and, conversely, some body types that bring out the bottom in me. Explore your own sexual fantasies and see if there is a clue there. Good luck!

[Rareboy]

I'd go with viagra myself.

Only with my partner have I never, ever folded under pressure....in many other cases.....if I didn't really know the guy.....I would just wilt when it came time to go in....partly because I would be thinking that I wanted to be the one getting drilled.

But then, my partner came along and we found that we were both very, very versatile with one another.

[East]

I like to both top and bottom BUT it depends on the chemistry with each guy which one will happen....

Even though I enjoy both..I never do both with the same guy. I have tried... and failed...and just left it at that.

[Pcolakuntryboy]

You sure it's not performance anxiety? Your mind can cause all kinds of things to happen with your body that you don't want to happen.

[dynamodean]

I think it's mostly likely psychological. If you can easily get hard when you're flying solo or can get hard up to the point when potential penetration is right in front of you, you don't have a problem with getting an erection, physiologically speaking. You can get help with Viagra, etc...but I'd go with the non-medicated route first. Perhaps try a cock ring?

[MisterLove]

Sup guys, hey has any Of you been wanting to top your couples but when the moment comes your dick goes soft?? Its sooo stressful, he has been acting cool about and whenever i "fail " se just turns and i get bottomed, wich is veeery good. I love him, love his body and would love to top him, actually i managed to do It once and he creamed with no hands, but since that day i havent been able. Ever been there guys? Thx alot

Honey, I have been there countless times before and believe me, you are not impotent.

This seems to be a typical case of sexual performance anxiety, which is extremely common, esp. among young men.

Anxiety is a major erection killer. When you face a stressful situation and get anxious, adrenaline and other chemicals in your body constrict peripheral circulation and erections become impossible. This is not erectile dysfunction, it's not a disease, it's a perfectly normal biological reaction. The last thing you need when you're facing a dangerous or stressful situation (e.g. escaping a lion) is an erection!

Again, this is not a disease and you have nothing to worry about. All you need to do is find effective ways to control your anxiety levels.

I strongly recommend you do a lot of research on the subject of sexual performance anxiety: the more you know about these problems, the less stressful they will be. Read books, talk to doctors, search the internet. I strongly recommend the books of Tom F. Lue, a brillian urologist from the US.

A warm shower before sex can do wonders: it will relax you and widen the vessels that bring blood into the penis to form an erection.

Seeing a doctor (urologist) is always a good idea. Even if this is just psychological, a good urologist will be able to help you.

I also had this problem (coital anxiety) for many years until I decided to do something about it. And if I could beat it, anyone can! Sexual performance anxiety is actually easily treatable, don't worry!

Good luck and keep us posted on this! Send me a PM if you want more information.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

While I'm a bottom by nature I do top if ordered too....

The thing for me is more about dominance not the act. A dominant bottom who orders me around gets me aroused and things go well - passive bottom most likely wouldn't do much for me.

My hint is get your man to make unreasonable demands, order you around, have the top attitude while you do the top activity.... did that make sense?