Anxiety & Being Gay

[Steve]

I like the equanimity with which the topic was presented. My friend who has SAD also has a similar style of speaking, minus the accent. I wonder if that is in some way related to the syndrome.

Mark, my partner, also suffers seasonal affective disorder. We both do, but it seems to affect him more profoundly than I. He is hyper aware of summer solstice every year, even though the summer days are usually warm and beautiful. We both know that solstice is an anxiety trigger for him even when the change in daylight hasn't manifested noticeably. By the time daylight savings time rolls around we both tend to fall into a rolling depression. SAD involves both anxiety and depression and serves to illustrate how closely linked both are in terms of emotionality. It presents as anxiety for both of us, but manifests as depression as a result.

Even as I look out the window right now (3:15pm, eastern time USA), the sky is that deadly bruised steel gray that is typical of most winter days in Michigan. Less than two hours from now it'll be dark out side. In the summer we would still be looking at about four more hours of daylight. Additionally the sky wouldn't be this seemingly unending winter gray. Those thoughts in mind it is difficult to avoid feeling depressed.

Light therapy works to some extent; it is possible to fool the mind with the right kind of artificial lighting. In this regard I tend to exacerbate Mark's depression because I am light sensitive, thus preferring more dimly lit rooms. Bright artificial light often gives me headaches and extended periods in sunshine don't mix well with Lamictal (the bipolar med I take). I have issues wearing sunglasses, especially indoor, as I associate it with a specific time when I had a complete emotional break which resulted in a failed "self-aborted" member profile.
(Forgive me coy substitution of terms like that, but I'm adverse to even using that term. The very week I attempted it, another coworker also attempted -and succeeded - it, and I often wonder if my action somehow colored his thoughts. I know better than to blame myself, but I also know better than to tempt fate, as corny and superstitious as that may sound.)

[MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION] does it help if you wear sunglasses in the brightly lit stores?

Leave it Camfer to come up with solutions. I swear, that man just doesn't know when to quit suggesting solutions for problems instead of bitching about them! (>like me<)
Nice going Camfer. Keep being optimistic, I'll take all the positive energy I can get lovey.

Yep! Like I can't stop the general day to day but stable foundations have been the key to me. If I can trust my life to be stable I can take risks that bring anxiety into it. Like YouTube for example. Biggg anxiety barrier there for me.

Baby steps. If you can find the right balance between anxiety and management of anxiety it is possible to desensitize yourself to certain levels of anxiety. Sometimes. Speaking only for myself, other times some latent memory, physical location, or even a sort of déjà vu when combinations of certain people, places, phrases, or even smells can blindside me and result in a panic attack (which I attempt to hide from everyone around me to varying degrees of success) and I flee the situation as quickly as possible.

From my perspective I always worry when people suffering mental health issues start discussing "walls". I understand the need to shelter yourself from pain, fear, hurt, etc.
I'd by lying if I didn't admit that I still have walls that I started to build when I was a young child. To some extent I think having a wall, a Linus security blanket as it were, can be a healthy thing. It's when the balance is tipped so far into keeping out all forms of emotional dialogue that I start to question the need to keep barriers so impermeable that one can't feel anything from the outside. Think Robin Williams. There was a reason he didn't allow people to see behind the wall. Sometimes you have to let people in, which is, as open and honest as I am, still a terrifying thing for me in certain aspects.

[Hardheaded1]

Mark, my partner, also suffers seasonal affective disorder.

I lived in Anchorage for a couple of years, so I knew friends who had it. When I typed SAD, I was referring to the OP's "Social Anxiety Disorder."

I'll bet it is becoming a problem that both have the same acronym.

[BrianNorth]

I don't have social anxiety. Just general.