The first pissed off gay man in recorded history
11-24-2014, 03:11 AM
[SIZE="5"]I meant to post this ages ago and just ran across it on my desk.
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It's a 2,000 year old poem written by Catullus to his lover and his best friend after finding out they'd been messing around behind his back... and making fun of his poetry. Here's the original Latin first. Translations follow in order to make a point of how subjective translations can be.
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo,
Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi,
qui me ex versiculis meis putastis,
quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum.
Nam castum esse decet pium poetam
ipsum, versiculos nihil necesse est;
qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem,
si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici,
et quod pruriat incitare possunt,
non dico pueris, sed his pilosis
qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos.
Vos, quod milia multa basiorum
legistis, male me marem putatis?
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.
Here's a translation into "modernish" English for broad appeal, I guess.
Up your ass and in your mouth
Aurelius, you too, Furius, you cocksuckers,
calling me dirt because my poems
have naughty naughty words in them.
Just the poet’s got to be a boy scout
fellas, not his goddmn poems.
Anyway look, they’ve got wit, sass,
and sure they’re lewd and lascivious,
and can get somebody pretty hard-up too,
I mean not just young kids, but you hairy guys
who can barely get your stiff asses going,
so just because you read about a lot of kisses
you want to put something nasty on me as a man?
Fuck you, up your ass and in your mouth.
Here's a better translation from Latin.
I will sodomize you and face-fuck you,
Aurelius you bottom and Furius, you boy whore,
you who think, because my poems
are sensitive, that I have no shame.
It's proper for any devoted poet to be respectable
But respectability isn't required of my poems
Actually unrespectable poems have humor and appeal,
if they are sensitive and a little shameless,
and still can arouse a sexual urge,
Though I don't mean in boys, but in those hairy old men
who can't get it up.
Because you've read poems of my countless kisses,
you think less of me as a man?
I will sodomize you and face-fuck you.
It's known as Catullus 16 for future reference.
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It's a 2,000 year old poem written by Catullus to his lover and his best friend after finding out they'd been messing around behind his back... and making fun of his poetry. Here's the original Latin first. Translations follow in order to make a point of how subjective translations can be.
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo,
Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi,
qui me ex versiculis meis putastis,
quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum.
Nam castum esse decet pium poetam
ipsum, versiculos nihil necesse est;
qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem,
si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici,
et quod pruriat incitare possunt,
non dico pueris, sed his pilosis
qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos.
Vos, quod milia multa basiorum
legistis, male me marem putatis?
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.
Here's a translation into "modernish" English for broad appeal, I guess.
Up your ass and in your mouth
Aurelius, you too, Furius, you cocksuckers,
calling me dirt because my poems
have naughty naughty words in them.
Just the poet’s got to be a boy scout
fellas, not his goddmn poems.
Anyway look, they’ve got wit, sass,
and sure they’re lewd and lascivious,
and can get somebody pretty hard-up too,
I mean not just young kids, but you hairy guys
who can barely get your stiff asses going,
so just because you read about a lot of kisses
you want to put something nasty on me as a man?
Fuck you, up your ass and in your mouth.
Here's a better translation from Latin.
I will sodomize you and face-fuck you,
Aurelius you bottom and Furius, you boy whore,
you who think, because my poems
are sensitive, that I have no shame.
It's proper for any devoted poet to be respectable
But respectability isn't required of my poems
Actually unrespectable poems have humor and appeal,
if they are sensitive and a little shameless,
and still can arouse a sexual urge,
Though I don't mean in boys, but in those hairy old men
who can't get it up.
Because you've read poems of my countless kisses,
you think less of me as a man?
I will sodomize you and face-fuck you.
It's known as Catullus 16 for future reference.
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![[Image: guy-cellphone-pedicab.png]](http://dealbreaker.com/uploads/2011/10/guy-cellphone-pedicab.png)
