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The first pissed off gay man in recorded history
#1
[SIZE="5"]I meant to post this ages ago and just ran across it on my desk.
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It's a 2,000 year old poem written by Catullus to his lover and his best friend after finding out they'd been messing around behind his back... and making fun of his poetry. Here's the original Latin first. Translations follow in order to make a point of how subjective translations can be.

Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo,
Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi,
qui me ex versiculis meis putastis,
quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum.
Nam castum esse decet pium poetam
ipsum, versiculos nihil necesse est;
qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem,
si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici,
et quod pruriat incitare possunt,
non dico pueris, sed his pilosis
qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos.
Vos, quod milia multa basiorum
legistis, male me marem putatis?
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.


Here's a translation into "modernish" English for broad appeal, I guess.

Up your ass and in your mouth
Aurelius, you too, Furius, you cocksuckers,
calling me dirt because my poems
have naughty naughty words in them.
Just the poet’s got to be a boy scout
fellas, not his goddmn poems.
Anyway look, they’ve got wit, sass,
and sure they’re lewd and lascivious,
and can get somebody pretty hard-up too,
I mean not just young kids, but you hairy guys
who can barely get your stiff asses going,
so just because you read about a lot of kisses
you want to put something nasty on me as a man?
Fuck you, up your ass and in your mouth.

Here's a better translation from Latin.

I will sodomize you and face-fuck you,
Aurelius you bottom and Furius, you boy whore,
you who think, because my poems
are sensitive, that I have no shame.
It's proper for any devoted poet to be respectable
But respectability isn't required of my poems
Actually unrespectable poems have humor and appeal,
if they are sensitive and a little shameless,
and still can arouse a sexual urge,
Though I don't mean in boys, but in those hairy old men
who can't get it up.
Because you've read poems of my countless kisses,
you think less of me as a man?
I will sodomize you and face-fuck you.

It's known as Catullus 16 for future reference.
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#2
I bet this poem just sings in Latin. Where do you find these ancient treasures Virge?

He sounded really affronted... Did they giggle about his poetry to his face? Some people simply cannot take constructive criticism. Hell hath no fury like a jilted gay erotic poet.
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#3
Steve Wrote:I bet this poem just sings in Latin. Where do you find these ancient treasures Virge?

He sounded really affronted... Did they giggle about his poetry to his face? Some people simply cannot take constructive criticism. Hell hath no fury like a jilted gay erotic poet.

In Latin Catullus was like Walt Whitman with loads of sexual innuendoes. All that translates into English from Latin are the words. There's nuances in word order and sentence structure that make some words the equivalent of BOLD that just don't come over into English. I know there has to be a better translation into English of Catullus 16 that really carries the sarcastic anger it has in Latin. I meant to try my hand at doing that which is why it layed on my desk so long.

The school I went to 1st - 12th was a liberal catholic boys academy. Everyone took at least 2 years of Latin. I took 5. The last 2 years were strictly reading Latin authors as homework and giving oral translations in class. Catullus was one of them but not my favorite. Most of the "smart" advice I write in here is just me quoting or paraphrasing things I remember from school. I have loads of books in Latin and want more if anyone has extra Xmas money laying around. hahahaha!

Im working on a translation for one of my favorite lines from a play..... that I want to be perfect...

It will be something like...

Adversity is the unwoven wool of life
Neither weep nor moan over it, Weave!
Hey You, boy! Listen to me!
Can you not see the warm cloak?
Weave Weave!

my motto is "Homo sum. Humani nihil a me alienum puto."

just cut and paste it to you search engine for the translation and more info.
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#4
LOL...I love it....I think I am going to print it out and frame it in this cool Victorian frame I have...the frame fits the dialogue,,,,
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#5
East Wrote:LOL...I love it....I think I am going to print it out and frame it in this cool Victorian frame I have...the frame fits the dialogue,,,,

If you can find some parchment paper, print with an olde English script font. I'll bet it would look hot in an old Victorian frame. For even more effect, scorch the edges of the parchment paper before you frame it.

Great idea East.
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#6
Steve Wrote:If you can find some parchment paper, print with an olde English script font. I'll bet it would look hot in an old Victorian frame. For even more effect, scorch the edges of the parchment paper before you frame it.

Great idea East.

I have a wall of old photos ...people who look uncomfortable in their bodies and/or whose spirit is trapped....

I like to think I am honoring them,,,,

I LOVE people with a lot of character and stories to tell....especially from the period 1890-1910...

I also find early 1900s gay men in photos sometimes...a few lesbians as well....I would like to give them a voice....I am thinking that they had to be angry....

I like your idea...I am going to get my artist friend to do it for me...she is great and she "gets me" which is nice:biggrin:. She just did all of Henry the 8th wives in miniature oil on playing cards....
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#7
Oh, the drama.

What is the Latin for "Oh, the drama!"

I once asked my Latin scholar friend to tell me the Latin for "I go to meetings, therefore, I exist." I think it was "convenio ergo sum." I think it would make for a good corporate whatnot, like the easy button.
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#8
East Wrote:LOL...I love it....I think I am going to print it out and frame it in this cool Victorian frame I have...the frame fits the dialogue,,,,

hmmmmmm... now there's an idea for a few unique Xmas gifts that would be like sleeping bombs hanging on a wall... I can think of a bunch of people who's be proud to hang a pretty framed Latin poem on their wall until Wncle Wilbur comes to visit and reads it.


Hardheaded1 Wrote:Oh, the drama.
What is the Latin for "Oh, the drama!"
Take you pick.
Prepare for a let down. Drama is one of the Latin words we still use so it could be "O Drama!"
But these cover it better
Heu! Cur tanto histricus! > Oh! Why so much drama! (acting)
Amplius Theatrales! Heu! >(Enough theatrics! Ah!) putting Heu on the end = disgust/displeasure
Heu! tantus theatrales! >(Oh! Such theatrics!)
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#9
I'm never going to look at a pedicab the same way again.

[Image: guy-cellphone-pedicab.png]

For my twisted amusement I write a very infrequent little gossip rag called The Tattler for a select group of friends who will get it. The motto is "Congoscit omnis, videt omnis, narrat maxime!" (knows all, sees all, tells most!)
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#10
One of my favorite Latin lines is the one that got Cicero beheaded and his hand cut off with both nailed up in the forum... (Octavian)Augustus was 19 and had just become emperor and people asked Cicero what he thought of Augustus. He said,

"laudanum adolescentum ordandum tollendum"
The boy is to be praised, decorated and exalted
tollendum (exalted) also means 'to be killed'

It's worth remembering so that you can wrote it about smart ass teens
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