A wife comes home early
Sagittarius
12-02-2014, 11:20 PM
A wife comes home early, and finds her husband in their bedroom making love with a much younger woman.
"You're a disrespectful pig," she cried. "How dare you do this to me, a faithful wife, the mother of your children. I'm leaving you. I want a divorce!"
The husband replied "hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened."
"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed. "But they're going to be the last words you ever say to me!"
The husband began. "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed, and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put put on weight."
"The poor thing devoured them in seconds. Since she needed a good clean up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you had for a few years but don't wear anymore because you say they are too tight."
"I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the boutique and don't wear because someone at work has the same pair."
The husband took a break before continuing. "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, "Please, do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"
"You're a disrespectful pig," she cried. "How dare you do this to me, a faithful wife, the mother of your children. I'm leaving you. I want a divorce!"
The husband replied "hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened."
"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed. "But they're going to be the last words you ever say to me!"
The husband began. "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed, and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put put on weight."
"The poor thing devoured them in seconds. Since she needed a good clean up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you had for a few years but don't wear anymore because you say they are too tight."
"I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the boutique and don't wear because someone at work has the same pair."
The husband took a break before continuing. "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, "Please, do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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