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Feeling defeated.
#1
Feeling a bit defeated . Just got out of a rough and abusive relationship. Had to move back in with my parents. Currently looking for work with no success. Even after three months. Met a guy who is now my bf. When we do hang out he never really lets me in, and it always just feels like he is more interested int he physical aspect of our relationship. Today he said he wants to hang out. He's at his friends place, I sent him a text asking him when he may be by. He says ill let you know when i'm on my way. It's an Hour later no word. And hes hanging at a best friends house. I am feeling very defeated, lonely. I feel like no one really wants to be around me. Is it me? Am I crazy. How do I get over this feeling?
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#2
That feeling of worthlessness...find out what the root of it is...it is usually something that isn't readily apparent. We would never just put a bandaid on a open wound when it needed stiches and expect it to be OK...same goes with emotional/psychic wounds...they need to be healed.

In the meantime...separate from him mentally...turn the tables. Don't let him define the relationship when you can do a much better job yourself.
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#3
Just got out of a rough and abusive relationship.

Met a guy who is now my bf.

it always just feels like he is more interested int he physical aspect of our relationship

He says ill let you know when i'm on my way. It's an Hour later no word.

I feel like no one really wants to be around me. Is it me? Am I crazy. How do I get over this feeling?

take time off. your looking for something to complete you. having friends and a boyfriend might not get rid of this feeling of being lonely.

get a job and don't stop till you find one. guys know when they can start taking advantage of you.
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#4
and what ever you do don't move in with this guy.
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#5
bluerealm Wrote:Just got out of a rough and abusive relationship.

Met a guy who is now my bf.

it always just feels like he is more interested int he physical aspect of our relationship

He says ill let you know when i'm on my way. It's an Hour later no word.

I feel like no one really wants to be around me. Is it me? Am I crazy. How do I get over this feeling?

take time off. your looking for something to complete you. having friends and a boyfriend might not get rid of this feeling of being lonely.

get a job and don't stop till you find one. guys know when they can start taking advantage of you.
Bluereal... just before the "thanks" button, there's a "quote" button, if you are going to repeat what a user said by just retyping or copy and paste the text click on "quote" it will automatically do it for you and it will be less difficult for others to know WHERE is your part of the post.
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#6
danvotion86 Wrote:Feeling a bit defeated . Just got out of a rough and abusive relationship. Had to move back in with my parents. Currently looking for work with no success. Even after three months. Met a guy who is now my bf. When we do hang out he never really lets me in, and it always just feels like he is more interested int he physical aspect of our relationship. Today he said he wants to hang out. He's at his friends place, I sent him a text asking him when he may be by. He says ill let you know when i'm on my way. It's an Hour later no word. And hes hanging at a best friends house. I am feeling very defeated, lonely. I feel like no one really wants to be around me. Is it me? Am I crazy. How do I get over this feeling?

People often think that a relationship will somehow magically "fix" them... make them whole, happy, complete, validated... and often times people take a 'failed' relationship personally like they did something wrong and heinous.

Relationships don't validate you, and they're generally not a barometer on how you are as a person. If you're relying on your BF to somehow complete you, that's something you'll have to do from within. Get some confidence. Go conquer the world!
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#7
Jake Wrote:Bluereal... just before the "thanks" button, there's a "quote" button, if you are going to repeat what a user said by just retyping or copy and paste the text click on "quote" it will automatically do it for you and it will be less difficult for others to know WHERE is your part of the post.

i thought you were leaving?

is that better?

before this cat fight begins i have to say something.

i want this person to read the most important words that i can see.

its kind of a quote but i want this person to read the words and see whats going on for them selves.

often when you try and help someone they look past what you say and keep doing the same things over and over and over again.

i can see the QUOTE button miss thing.

Ps. i think your smart but don't tell me what i need to do to make a point. I'm not trying to hurt any one ok boo boo.
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#8
bluerealm Wrote:i thought you were leaving?

is that better?

before this cat fight begins i have to say something.

i want this person to read the most important words that i can see.

its kind of a quote but i want this person to read the words and see whats going on for them selves.

often when you try and hel someone they look past what you say and keep doing the same things over and over and over again.

i can see the QUOTE button miss thing.

Ps. i think your smart but don't tell me what i need to do to make a point. I'm not trying to hurt any one ok boo boo.
I am leaving Blue... don't worry lol. This was just a suggestion you do as you please, and sorry but the quote button doesn't miss a thing.
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#9
bluerealm Wrote:Ps. i think your smart but don't tell me what i need to do to make a point. I'm not trying to hurt any one ok boo boo.

And thank you for thinking I'm smart... Honestly, you could have found me to be an idiot I wouldn't care... But if you take offense at someone giving you tips to make sure your point got across in a better way, well might want to relax and smell the roses a bit... There was no cat fish fight to be had... Be the cat, eat the fish and enjoy it. But I don't see where there would be any bad argumentation here, unless you start one which would be useless even though I wouldn't leave today I would have let you win.

Cheers!
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#10
bluerealm Wrote:i thought you were leaving?

is that better?

before this cat fight begins i have to say something.

i want this person to read the most important words that i can see.

its kind of a quote but i want this person to read the words and see whats going on for them selves.

often when you try and help someone they look past what you say and keep doing the same things over and over and over again.

i can see the QUOTE button miss thing.

Ps. i think your smart but don't tell me what i need to do to make a point. I'm not trying to hurt any one ok boo boo.

A suggestion then....

It would be very helpful...if you want to extract quotes or ideas to either use quotation marks...ie:

"its kind of a quote but i want this person to read the words and see whats going on for them selves."

Or

bluerealm Wrote:snip....

i want this person to read the most important words that i can see.

its kind of a quote but i want this person to read the words and see whats going on for them selves.

often when you try and help someone they look past what you say and keep doing the same things over and over and over again.

....snip

Or

bluerealm Wrote:i thought you were leaving?

[COLOR="Silver"]is that better?

before this cat fight begins i have to say something.
[/COLOR]
[COLOR="RoyalBlue"]i want this person to read the most important words that i can see.

its kind of a quote but i want this person to read the words and see whats going on for them selves.

often when you try and help someone they look past what you say and keep doing the same things over and over and over again. [/COLOR]


[COLOR="Silver"]i can see the QUOTE button miss thing.

Ps. i think your smart but don't tell me what i need to do to make a point. I'm not trying to hurt any one ok boo boo.[/COLOR]

....these are all useful in helping all of us distinguish between your thoughts and the words of the OP.

Just a suggestion.


As for the OP.

You aren't worthless.

Deop the guy you are currently seeing if you aren't getting what you need from the realtionship. To me it sounds as though you are just setting yourself up for another lopsided and unhealthy relationship with this new bf.
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