We need to talk.

[danvotion86]

When a guy says we need to talk that it its about us and its not about me and its more about him. Does that mean that he is going to break up with me? I can't tell because he is still calling me babe. I am thinking the worst.

He is suppose to come over tonight because he says he wants to tell me about it in person.

[James]

First relax, you need to be able to consider what he has to say, it's more difficult if you are wired. Doesn't mean anything, he may just need more space, less space, more caring less caring, etc. Just walk into the conversation with an open mind

[MountLogan]

I do agree peoples worrying way too much into words. Yes he may break up with you but he may just have something important to tell you. May be a good news, may be a bad news or may me not a big deal at all.

But my question is why do you thing he wants to break up? Did you had a fight?

[danvotion86]

No we hung out a couple days ago. We drank wine i provided. We watched brokeback mountain. We cuddled kissed and you know. It was a great night. But also that night he said that he is starting to work out. Then I havent seen much of him. He just goes to his friends house to hang with him and work out with him.

I asked him one night since he cant hang out a lot maybe we can talk on the phone. He said no he is going straight to bed. I admit i don't handle things well... He says it isnt bad and i need to chill. He is still calling me baby. So i guess if he wanted to break up. he wouldnt be calling me baby.

But i do need some advice. When I am with a guy I tend to become obsessed. I am not sure why. When im single of course im lonely but i am more sane than when im with someone. It feels like im drowning.

If I am being a little crazy to him. Is there any ways to fix it?

[East]

LOL..."we need to talk" is one of the worst things to say to me....no one says it to me more than once

I tend to think I am going to get some staged conversation...I trust spontaneous conversation that is raw and unrehearsed so much more. I think if you have the time to say we need to talk..you could have just "talked" at that moment.

It also reminds me of setting a stage for drama....or emotional blackmail....

[James]

Don't cling, and did you think about maybe working out also and of course with him?

[danvotion86]

I asked him once because i do need to work out. But that spot is taken by his best friend. He came up with an excuse why I couldn't. I don't remember the reason.

[James]

hmmm, don't know where to go from here, not in the shape I once was either, not ready to jump out of airplanes right now

[MountLogan]

No we hung out a couple days ago. We drank wine i provided. We watched brokeback mountain. We cuddled kissed and you know. It was a great night. But also that night he said that he is starting to work out. Then I havent seen much of him. He just goes to his friends house to hang with him and work out with him.

I asked him one night since he cant hang out a lot maybe we can talk on the phone. He said no he is going straight to bed. I admit i don't handle things well... He says it isnt bad and i need to chill. He is still calling me baby. So i guess if he wanted to break up. he wouldnt be calling me baby.

But i do need some advice. When I am with a guy I tend to become obsessed. I am not sure why. When im single of course im lonely but i am more sane than when im with someone. It feels like im drowning.

If I am being a little crazy to him. Is there any ways to fix it?

If he said you don't need to worry I don't think he is breaking up with you. Yeah you will have to be careful not being overly obsessed. From what you explain you both had a great time looking at a movie. So when your getting obsessed thing about the good, the whole picture. It was a great evening (think macro, not micro). If he is starting to work out he starting to have a routine and he have all the motivation. So it's normal if he seems to train a lot with his friends.

To fix something, something need to be broken and I don't think you broke something yet. So hard for me to give you advise to fix something that doesn't need to be fix. You can let him know your concern but you need to let him live and trust him.
By exemple, you could tell him «I love you very much and sometime and I can get overly obsessed. I am working on this but just ask you to be honest with me. Then I would say I love you babe or something like that. » You don't have to tell him your obsessed but if you feel you may be losing him over this you could tell to let him know your aware of it.

[Borg69]

LOL..."we need to talk" is one of the worst things to say to me....no one says it to me more than once

I tend to think I am going to get some staged conversation...I trust spontaneous conversation that is raw and unrehearsed so much more. I think if you have the time to say we need to talk..you could have just "talked" at that moment.

It also reminds me of setting a stage for drama....or emotional blackmail....

I agree. I feel blindsided when I hear "we need to talk". It usually means you've already rehearsed this in your head 100 times and have already come to a conclusion that I can't defend. It's you setting an ultimatum that we should have discussed.

Take it or leave it.