danvotion86 Wrote:I asked him once because i do need to work out. But that spot is taken by his best friend. He came up with an excuse why I couldn't. I don't remember the reason.
Hey Danvotion, I've got feedback and I want to preface it with a disclaimer first. You already know you've made a good choice by coming here and leaning on a source of support to get perspective and help dealing with fear, pain, confusion, etc. And you're already making some friends in addition. Now if your GS family is true to my experience, you'll get some challenging feedback to mull over and consider as you move forward. There's three sides to every story and then the truth, so getting all the angles must be used for what it might be beneficially worth and chuck the rest right?
You've made several comments that suggest you have issues with security. You even admit it to a degree without going further with the "totally responsible" point of view, preferring to keep it safe with the pointing finger. But while the finger is pointed away from yourself toward "him" or "them" you must realize the three other fingers on that same hand pointing back at yourself. I am betting you already know this and do not simply disagree. The result is as big a deal as you allow it to be toward your own betterment in living the life you have right this minute and playing your cards well toward your potential ahead. This said...here's a specific example:
The quoted post says you already know you want and need to work out and so you "naturally" tie that individual and independent self need/want to asking someone else and making the result directly determine the outcome. Again, you turned your need to work out into an "us" with "that spot...already taken". The point I am belaboring because I hug long with love, is that you might really benefit with all your comments taken together, from looking into and learning about co-dependency. How that works, looks and plays out and how it can with dealt with for healing, hope and positive growth may be VERY helpful for you.
Lastly, if you do find yourself interested and looking into the process of codependency be prepared to see how closely most of the info is tied to substance use and abuse issues. It grew out of the addiction recovery movement, but it is relevant across the entire spectrum of behavioral health (even to the point of over use maybe). So don't let that connection with addiction trick you into thinking the concepts of codependency do not apply to your situation. It's simply a frame of reference full of language and thought to help someone grow and be more successful as individuals and in relationships.
I hope you won't take offense with my taking time to say this. If so, I sincerely hope you'll at least see it was an effort of care for you. I hope you'll stay connected with GS and I'll look forward to it!
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