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Does this count as coming out?
#11
chibigiraffe Wrote:I came out (sort of...) about a month ago hoping that would make relationships with my family stronger. And it has a lot, due to my situational depression lifting away and the burden of holding the lie of being straight. And even though parents hate the fact that I'm no longer hiding it or trying to "fight my feelings", I'm ok with that (I think).

But now they just act like I never even came out and it bothers me a little. It makes me feel like they don't take me seriously, even though I'm an intelligent 22 year old.

I literally have no friends.. I've been raised in the church so everyone in my life revolves around that and they all have the same views my family have (maybe even worst).

I don't really feel like I'm out of the closet yet.

Do you drive? You're an hour from Raleigh. I was just there; you are likely to meet many more open-minded folks there. We watched the 'Bama-LSU game with a whole team of gay and gay-friendly softball players. I stole some of their french fries.
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#12
Yes, that counts as coming out. You have to start making your own friends now. I agree you have to get to Raleigh as much as possible. Coming out is not a one-time thing. You have to keep doing it over and over. It gets easier with practice. Don't make a big deal about it. Friends and career are your ticket out of this situation. It's time to create your own life, and then you will really feel out.
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#13
ShiftyNJ Wrote:Do you drive? You're an hour from Raleigh. I was just there; you are likely to meet many more open-minded folks there. We watched the 'Bama-LSU game with a whole team of gay and gay-friendly softball players. I stole some of their french fries.

not yet. i will be getting my drivers license soon and i already kinda have a car i can drive. i used to attend nc state. it was a totally new experience for me at the time because ive never been away from home like that (i was sheltered my whole life). not to mention i was still deep in the closet. i was too occupied with self denial and depression that i ended up not making any real friends. flunking out and losing contact with the few people i did hang around there really got me down. i was forced to move back home and attend a community college near home. that is when i knew i had to open up and be honest with myself which led to me finally coming out. now that i look back, it was a nice environment and i'm longing to move back to a city like it soon...
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#14
chibigiraffe Wrote:making friends and connections is what i'm all about right now online. the more i talk about myself the more outgoing i become. i am kinda weird and quirky (and i'm ok with that), i just have to find people who can fully except that (which is harder than it sounds...)

That's great for practice. Just don't let it remain online. Also, everything Borg said Smile

Oh, YouTube has videos on how to do small talk, etc. They're probably fairly cheesy but you might get a few good tips!
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#15
Ok. Now you're out.

Glad to hear that you are in a community college near home and are enjoying it.

There are other gay guys there. Go out and meet them. Join up for something.

....and don't be afraid now to let your fellow students know that you are a homo either.
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#16
The fact is, your out. End of headline. Next....

What your family decided to do with that news is up to them. Be happy with the fact that they know and continue to accept and support you. There are many younger people who do not get that support.

If you want to shout it from the rooftops and wrap yourself in a rainbow flag, be my guest Laugh2
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#17
chibigiraffe Wrote:not yet. i will be getting my drivers license soon and i already kinda have a car i can drive. i used to attend nc state. it was a totally new experience for me at the time because ive never been away from home like that (i was sheltered my whole life). not to mention i was still deep in the closet. i was too occupied with self denial and depression that i ended up not making any real friends. flunking out and losing contact with the few people i did hang around there really got me down. i was forced to move back home and attend a community college near home. that is when i knew i had to open up and be honest with myself which led to me finally coming out. now that i look back, it was a nice environment and i'm longing to move back to a city like it soon...

It's understandable that you freaked out a little in such a different environment, but -- now that you had a taste of it -- keep that in front of you as a goal when you feel down. Hopefully you can knock out a good year or so at community college and then transfer to a bigger school, but I agree with [MENTION=21495]Rareboy[/MENTION]... we are legion!

Also - not for nothing - but if any aspect of your faith was important to you - it is not impossible to be a gay man of faith. I was in Raleigh for a LGBT religious event. Our bishop there is one of my heroes.
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#18
thanks everyone!
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#19
I understand how tough it is to make new friends, but I eventually got the hang of it. Feel free to message me, I would be more than happy to chat with you.
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#20
Honey, I wish you all the luck in the world. Not always easy branching out being young and sheltered. I'm in that boat, but you have the advantage of having a foot in with city people. Make the most of it. Brush up on old contacts if you can. You might be surprised to find someone helpful among them.
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