My Evolving Situation

[reaper]

Merry xmas eve GS!

So my short journey has led me down an unexpected road.

In the very short period of time since I've come out, just over 2 months, I've had my fill of new experiences. From bondage, new friendships, sexual and emotional firsts, and finding communities like this.

It's been exciting and I've embraced it all with open arms. I've let my instinct be my guide, and I've done so without regret.

I've really only just begun to explore the sexual part of all of this when I began dating and sometimes simply hooking up. I've made it a point to mention my open relationship policy to anyone I've met to avoid any potential issues.

For me, my open policy isn't really about seeking out new sexual partners. It's my way of preserving my bondage club activities. Although I do enjoy the kink, it's not something I need to do. It's more about the guys I befriended there. They play a huge part of my story and helped me in ways they can't imagine...even if they did so unintentionally.

I recently went out with a guy I met from a hookup site. We had a long normal conversation and decided to meet.

We both wanted to go out and have a fave to face vs the straight hookup. I knew before we actually met that this had a different feel and tone then the typical situation I've come to expect from using this site. He knew this as well.

We met at a diner and talked for close to 3 hours. We were both unusually comfortable with one another and shared some good laughs. We both acknowledged that we knew we'd get along well.

We hooked up. It was fun.

A few days later we hooked up again.

In a short period of time we have met up 4 times. We hang out, watch movies, and go out to eat. We never hook up and go.

Our last meeting was different then the others. We went to a really nice restaurant, had some great conversations, then hung out at his place.

This time the hook up part was different. It was hotter and more sensual. I even gave him a massage and we cuddled after.

Since then we've been texting a lot and we have dropped our guards. We both acknowledge and embrace the fact that this is leading somewhere and we're excited about it.

I didn't see this coming! He's made me soft and vulnerable.

The future is impossible to see, and in my opinion its counterproductive to try.

But I like where I'm at and am optimistic to explore this road. I don't know where it leads, but I haven't know where any of the roads on my journey would lead.

I'm just enjoying the ride and changing directions when the mood hits me.

I guess I'm open to being tied down in more ways then one, lol.

[ck86]

Hey dude. That sounds great. Relationships, no matter how long or short come unexpectantly in most cases as you can't force the chemistry. Enjoy it! Hope you have a great Xmas!

[Maverick]

Reaper,

Thanks for sharing, really cool that you met someone who you connect with on a higher level. Hope it continues to flourish and you experience everything that's good and special on an emotional level. Keep us posted as well, we all like hearing about success stories!

[reaper]

Hey dude. That sounds great. Relationships, no matter how long or short come unexpectantly in most cases as you can't force the chemistry. Enjoy it! Hope you have a great Xmas!

Thanks man, Merry Xmas to you too!

[MikeW]

LOL, you may not believe this but I'm not surprised at all that this is happening. I can't say why, exactly, but as I've followed your story since you joined GS, fairly early on I had this 'sense' or 'premonition' that things would move in this direction fairly quickly. I haven't said overtly, 'oh, this is what will happen' because, like you, I don't *know* that -- it was just a sense, an intuition, that could have just as well been wrong as right or could, perhaps, 'show up' in different ways.

Part of this, I think, is due to who YOU are -- or at least the sense I have gotten from your words and your story. For one thing, you're not a 20 something -- you're a fully functioning adult who has a good head on his shoulders to start with. This is why I've said I wasn't overly concerned about anything you chose to do, feeling that you're going to 'feel your way' through whatever is going on. Of course you're going to make some 'mistakes' along the way -- we all do -- but as you know, those are just learning opportunities.

Basically all I want to say is thank you for sharing your story as it has progressed. It's very interesting to see someone come into himself fairly rapidly. It's all kind of exciting, isn't it?

Like you, I don't think it is necessary to try and forecast what the future will bring. I agree, even trying to can be counter productive. What is important is staying 'in the now' as much as we can, living it and 'sensing' it out. Every moment is a consequence of all the preceding moments and decisions we've made. They've brought us to where we are. And what we do and decide now influences, if not determines, what happens next. NOW, for you, this involves another human being (and not just one, obviously) -- so this is a very interesting situation. All you can do is be as honest with yourself and with this other guy as you can be, trying to constantly discover what is true for you and revealing that truth -- and seeing how it matches up with the other guy's truth.

Nothing much more to be said about it, really, other than WOO WHOO!

[Rareboy]

This is great....and enjoy the time together as long as it feels right for both of you. Marry Christmas.

[reaper]

LOL, you may not believe this but I'm not surprised at all that this is happening. I can't say why, exactly, but as I've followed your story since you joined GS, fairly early on I had this 'sense' or 'premonition' that things would move in this direction fairly quickly. I haven't said overtly, 'oh, this is what will happen' because, like you, I don't *know* that -- it was just a sense, an intuition, that could have just as well been wrong as right or could, perhaps, 'show up' in different ways.

Part of this, I think, is due to who YOU are -- or at least the sense I have gotten from your words and your story. For one thing, you're not a 20 something -- you're a fully functioning adult who has a good head on his shoulders to start with. This is why I've said I wasn't overly concerned about anything you chose to do, feeling that you're going to 'feel your way' through whatever is going on. Of course you're going to make some 'mistakes' along the way -- we all do -- but as you know, those are just learning opportunities.

Basically all I want to say is thank you for sharing your story as it has progressed. It's very interesting to see someone come into himself fairly rapidly. It's all kind of exciting, isn't it?

Like you, I don't think it is necessary to try and forecast what the future will bring. I agree, even trying to can be counter productive. What is important is staying 'in the now' as much as we can, living it and 'sensing' it out. Every moment is a consequence of all the preceding moments and decisions we've made. They've brought us to where we are. And what we do and decide now influences, if not determines, what happens next. NOW, for you, this involves another human being (and not just one, obviously) -- so this is a very interesting situation. All you can do is be as honest with yourself and with this other guy as you can be, trying to constantly discover what is true for you and revealing that truth -- and seeing how it matches up with the other guy's truth.

Nothing much more to be said about it, really, other than WOO WHOO!

Thanks, and I always enjoy your insights.

I am excited, this is much different then anything else up to this point. The club, the guy there, and all of that are not as personal in many ways. What I mean is, even though I had those feelings for the guy at the club, and still do in some way...it was always a once a week thing. For a few hours once a week I would be there, and then I wasn't.

This isn't something I'll do once a week then be done with it. This is something that is part of my regular everyday life. We communicate regularly, we go out and come to each others homes. It's more intense in this regard.

After we hung out that first time, I stopped using that site to look for potentials. Not that I haven't looked for the sake of looking, but I haven't reached out to anyone or responded to anyone. I think it's most likely the same for him. Even though, by the way things were laid out, I could.

I even told him about the club the night we met to give him a chance to walk away. I have been dishonest about one thing however, my age. On the site I lowball my age by 5 yrs. I think he called me out on it but I didn't catch it.

He mentioned seeing my facebook, which I don't really use. Only after did I go back and look at it wondering if it mentioned my age. It does, and worse, the last post on my page was my coach from my training praising my hard work and mentioning my age, lol.

So I think he knows although he hasn't called me out on it. That aside, I've been 100% honest about everything.

[LJay]

Amidst all of the problems we hear about, it is a good thing to remind ourselves that sometimes things go well, Reaper. Glad for you!

[Rareboy]

who knows????

[reaper]

who knows????

My only xmas wish! lol.