Surprised at Relatives

[abcd1234]

This past Christmas I was really surprised that my relatives next block didn't invite me.Especially since this is the first Christmas without my mom. I live alone and my boyfriend of 2 months had to go see relatives out of state.A friend of mine came over later for coffee but I had no plans for the actual dinner.When I told one of them she said,"Oh it's just another day.No big deal" Then I told her my church was having dinner and I might go there.So she repeated the same thing.Instead of saying to come over there she acted like it was no big deal that I might be alone on Christmas.I did go to the church and it was very nice.At least those people welcome you and make you feel wanted. I don't understand it because we were always close and they asked me not to hesitate if I needed them for anything.

So the next day she calls to wish me a belated Merry Christmas and she wanted to ask me if in January she could stay 2 overnights at my house because her bathroom is being remodeled and she won't have a toilet for 2 days.She can't use her sister's downstairs because her sister has a Jack Russell terrier that growls at her all the time.Her boyfriend lives in my building and she should stay with him but I think she sceives his house because he's not the greatest housekeeper and the bathroom leaves a lot to be desired.But do you believe the nerve she has for her and her sister to leave me out on Christmas and then think nothing of asking me this favor of staying at my house.I said yes because I was caught offguard but now i'm having second thoughts.Why should I after the way she let me spend Christmas alone.They had my aunt and uncle over and of course she asked her boyfriend but I was nothing.How would you guys handle this situation?

[Hardheaded1]

Keep your word. Reneging is even more of a social transgression that simple thoughtlessness. Of course, if you insist on giving her the cold shoulder, leave your bathroom window open before she arrives. She'll figure out something has chilled.

During one of the visits to your loo, waylay her with chit chat and bring up that you were sorta hurt that you were passed over by everyone in the family on Christmas Day. That will open the door to her explaining, if she does.

On the other hand, if you are 57, it raises the question of why did you not invite some relatives yourself over to join you. If you were in your 20's, your junior status might merit being mothered or looked after. Likewise, if you were in your dotage, that also might justify such care.

As it is, you're pretty much in the prime of life, and a social equal to your adult relatives. They might well assume you're alone because you want to be unless you have chosen to host family gatherings of your own.

What is the situation?

[Cuddly]

Did they have room for another guest?
Did you actually ask or did you just throw hints?

[East]

Because you were hurt and you do have an ongoing friendly relationship with them...I would ask them point blank ...or tell them you were hurt.

Don't stay silent though...it will manifest into something else that won't be so easy to deal with if you leave it unattended.

[Rareboy]

I wouldn't clean my apartment for the next few weeks before she arrives. She won't ask to stay again.

[Beaux]

I wouldn't clean my apartment for the next few weeks before she arrives. She won't ask to stay again.

Funny! Passive Agreesive as Fuck....but funny! Lol

[abcd1234]

Yes there was room for other guests and I even mentioned to her I would be alone for dinner and she said that it's no big deal as it's just another day.I think that was insensitive.First of all my family is getting smaller and the few relatives I have were already invited out.There was only me and even a few of my other aunts couldn't understand why they didn't invite me. There's no reason for it and no excuse for it.It doesn't matter how old I am,family should not leave you out if you're alone,especially this year as I'm grieving.And No,they didn't think I wanted to be alone.I'm very surprised at them.

[Bhp91126]

Ok, Mr passive-aggressive Pushover, quit your whining and speak up! You could have asked to be invited. You could say no to her. You could learn to stand up for yourself, at 57 it's not too early in your life.

[Borg69]

Odd friendship where you two burden each other when your own families won't step up and you two take it out on each other.

[Rareboy]

I would let them know they are out of the will.