teaching about sex

[Anonymous]

this is gonna be an awkward thread.

i come from a society and country where talking about sex is taboo. and everybody are conservative here.

and i learned about sex only through sex scenes in movies and pornography.

i have to admit something that is shameful.

i dunno how to perform in bed. (yes i am a virgin)

dunno how to start fucking and finish fucking.

i dun even know how to kiss or make out properly.

i would like to know, are there guys out there who are willing to "teach" how to have a good sexual experience?

i understand everyone expect the other partner to perform well enough to satisfy them.

the guy who is gonna have sex with me will have to tolerate my incapability and awkwardness.

i know it sounds silly that i need someone to teach ( like teaching maths or something ) but i really dunno how sex feels like.

is it possible to find "teachers" through grindr or other places?

[Virge]

It's a learn as you go thing. There's not really any advice to give except take things at your own speed. The way you have seen it on porn movies is not the way it's done in real life --- at least when you're doing with someone you care for.

I'm not sure about how or where you could find teachers... or if they really exist.

[edhued]

I don't think there is a way to actually teach sex from my point of view (I'm thinking more of a lecture type of teaching). Unless you meet someone patient that will teach you the ways. Sex isn't just about satisfying each others, it's a mutual understanding of each other needs, it's a language, it's an act.... it's so many things combined into one.

Don't expect your first time to be perfect and don't try so hard to make it one. I'm pretty sure it also depends on who you're going to sleep with. You learn sex through experience and practice. You have to speak up, to let them know it's your first time, what exactly you're looking for, what you want to do, and what you want to be done to you. Just be careful out there and practice safe sex and don't use porn as your reference!

There are plenty of topics about you know how to bottom or to top and what to expect (safe sex, foreplay, pain, positions, lube, ...etc). I guess all you can do is read them... but don't be disappointed if they don't occur during your first time, because it's always like "this is how it suppose to happen" but actually more like "this is what happened".

Good luck

[MikeW]

No need to be embarrassed. My advice: If someone shows interest in you, just be honest. Let them know you're interested but not experienced and need some guidance.

Basic rule of thumb: If it feels good, do it. If it don't feel good, stop ... or learn to do it in a way that does feel good.

[ck86]

Whilst porn looks hot and exciting its nothing like real life. Please don't pin your expectations on what to expect on what you've seen.

Take it slow. If you are into NSA (no strings attached) fun then play safe and let them know beforehand that you are new at it. Most guys are happy to lead the way, well unless they are the passive type. You don't have to go all the way the first time unless you are comfortable with the idea or want to. Otherwise take it a bit at a time and see what you enjoy.

The first time or first few times might feel awkward but it will be fine and as long as you are having fun who really cares anyway.

Have fun and good luck.

[Rareboy]

Everyone has their first time.

Let your first partner know that you are a virgin.....they'll probably warm to the adventure of making your first time as comfortable and enjoyable as possible.

[Darius]

My first time with a guy and we were both virgins and stupid about it. So we just went slowly and played doing what felt good. You might have to gag a few times before you learn to give a good blowjob. I would suggest you forget about anal sex to start with. Just learn to relax with the guy and have fun. Save the more serious stuff for later. Probably best to find someone you care about who is willing to spend more than one night with you. Never trust a stranger.

I always think if you can operate your cock on your own, you can figure out how to pleasure his, too.

Good luck, pal.

[meridannight]

experience is the best teacher. your own body tells you what to do. sex is all about instincts (and communication with your partner).

also, different guys are a little different with their particular preference and tastes. getting to know your partner sexually is one the most amazing things in life. getting to know his body, and making him feel good, that truly qualifies as one of the greatest experiences. and there is no other way to learn than by actually having sex.

you don't really need a teacher. you need a sexual partner. you can give a guy a head's up about being a little on the inexperienced side, that would be fair, but you don't need to phrase it as looking for a 'teacher'. i don't know where you live at, but in a Western country it would be highly unusual for someone to look for a sexual teacher. we just start having sex and pick it up as we go along. if you still live in that country where sexual topics are a taboo, then maybe it isn't too difficult to find a guy in a similar condition with whom to explore? if the society is that conservative on this topic then there are lot more guys like you out there.

[LJay]

Your only real requirement is to learn about safer sex. If you have access to the internet, that is not at all difficult. As a matter of fact, the internet can help you in many ways.

There is no "proper" way of doing things, just be safe.

[Lexington]

Learn by doing. I've had sex with a couple virgins, and really enjoyed showing them around. Just tell your first guy you're new at this, and you're looking to him to take the lead. If it ends up you're both new at it, well, just try some stuff out to see how you both like it.

Lex