Female housemate issues

[dynamodean]

Recently we have a new housemate (I say housemate instead of roommate because we don't share a bedroom), who happens to be female. We don't share bedrooms but we DO share a bathroom. We get along all right but let's just say we are creatures of habit and it has been difficult to break some of those.

One of her pet peeves, and she told me this, is when I leave the toilet seat up. I don't intentionally leave them up but have been forgetful enough to where she whines and gives me exasperated looks whenever the topic gets brought up (and she makes sure to bring it up). I ask her what's the big deal, and why can't she just move the toilet seat down when she needs to. She says it's just a "courtesy thing" and also she may fall into the toilet at night when she sits down. I suppose I can kind of see where she is coming from, but I figure if she can figure out where the toilet is, she can figure out if the toilet seat is up or down...plus there's this thing of, you know, turning on the light.

Do you guys leave the toilet seat down for the ladies (if you live with them)? Is it really that big of a deal? Maybe it's a traditional courtesy thing and it's not ingrained in me and I don't have it. It's not like I intentionally leave the seat up...I'm just so used to not worrying about it when I didn't have any female housemates.

I haven't exactly liked the way she treated the bathroom either. There is now hair everywhere....in the sink, on the floor, in the tub...she's a mega shedder. I've brought it up to her once, and it's not like she's cleaned up after herself. Why should I have to make compromises if she can't?

Are we an odd couple?! I'm glad we don't share a bedroom.....

[TwisttheLeaf]

Ok, first of all? The toilet seat is a big deal to chicks for 2 reasons.

1) Splashback from pissing into the toilet gets on the rim and builds up a little at a time. Then she has to sit in it if she goes in there and doesn't realize the toilet seat is up and sits down.

2) Chicks with the right size of an ass? When they accidentally sit down on a toilet with the seat up, their ass slides right through and splashes down in the water. If they have a niche waist and rounded hips, like my sister, this means they can get STUCK and have trouble getting back out.

So. yeah. Toilet seats are a big deal. Sorry man, but they are. And it **IS** a courtesy thing because if you don't put it down (or wipe the rim after EVERY time you piss if you're going to leave it up), then you're essentially saying "I don't care if you sit in my piss." (Also, I've been living with my sister for years and I have had to help her out of the toilet more than once when I've forgotten to put the seat down. It's easier to just put the seat down, trust me.)

Why don't you look at trying to make a deal with her that you will do your best to remember to put the seat down as long as she does her best to keep her hair shedding in the bathroom under control.

[Miles]

I never leave the seat up. It's like an unconscious habit of mine always to put it back down when I'm done. The thought of falling into a toilet that may have been used is like one of my ultimate squick scenarios so I make sure no one endures the same fate. Hell I sometimes just put the whole top down too.

[dynamodean]

I DO try to remember...I really do. I'll be a gentleman about it and try extra hard for her. I guess my thinking was, I don't always assume the seat is up, so I look for it, and move the seat if necessary...why can't she look as well, and move it if necessary. And I actually do wipe the area down if there's any splash.

I guess I'm the odd man out here.

[meridannight]

i don't understand what the big deal with the toilet seat is either. does she go to the bathroom while being in a coma or something? sounds like a huge fuss made out of a small thing.

however, i do put the lid down. always. it's because when you flush, small particulate matter (of water, urine and other stuff) will come flying up and i don't want that shit on me. some studies have also found it spreads bacteria. i'm not really paranoid about that, as it's not that major concern, even according to those studies, but either way, for sanitary purposes i always flush with the lid down.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/articl...g-bug.html

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22137761

the thing that irritates me is people who've apparently never heard of flushing! they exist.

[TwisttheLeaf]

I DO try to remember...I really do. I'll be a gentleman about it and try extra hard for her. I guess my thinking was, I don't always assume the seat is up, so I look for it, and move the seat if necessary...why can't she look as well, and move it if necessary. And I actually do wipe the area down if there's any splash.

I guess I'm the odd man out here.

Splash isn't always visible but can build up over time until it is, yeah? Doesn't mean it's not there just because you can't -see- it with your eye.

Women are taught ALL their lives by society, family, and their mothers.... by even restaurant bathrooms and everywhere else that it's reinforced... that the toilet seat is DOWN. You're talking about programming from birth that the toilet seat is going to be there for touchdown when they sit down on the toilet.

You're not going to be able to change this man. It's just the way it is. And training it in ONE woman? Why? It seems a silly war over something that is generally accepted as common courtesy, yeah? At least, imo.

Sorry man. some things just aren't worth waging war over.

[MikeW]

Lordy, I swear, men and women have been fusing about this as long as there have been toilet seats.

The hell of it is when you try your best to put the damn thing down they never notice but then the one time you *forget,* you never hear the end of it...

It's maddening, I tell ya, maddening!

[Iceblink]

I had female roommates for many years and learned to put the toilet seat down. It has been probably 16 or 17 years since I've lived with a female, but I have never gotten out of the habit. It is a good way to prevent things from falling into the toilet. One I thing I learned with the many different housemates, both males and females, is that men are more likely to be slobs in the house. The one big exception is the bathroom. I've often found living with women, bathroom counters are cluttered, hair product residue coats everything, hair dye stains the wall, using only one towel per shower is not sufficient, and long hair has to be periodically cleaned from the shower drain. I learn to live with it, because I probably do things that are just as annoying to them. Living with roommates is always a give and take thing and unless it is some kind of major issue making the place unlivable, you just put up with the minor annoyances.

[Darius]

My Mom taught us to always put the seat down. She said we wouldn't leave the table without sliding our chairs back in, either. It had more to do with being neat.

[trywait]

this is two-fold:

a. when I lived at home, I was "taught" to put the toilet seat down. so, it became a naturally "ingrained" to leave the toilet seat down after I make shi-shi.

b. when I lived on my own, in my own place, the toilet seat was always up. whenever people would come over, men or women and they would use my bathroom, it wasn't an issue and I always left the toilet seat up because it was my bathroom.

now, since you share a bathroom in your own place, and granted she pays a portion of the rent, here was my way to appease everyone who wanted to keep the "toilet seat" down. at my grandpa's home, after I made shi-shi, I put the toilet seat and lid down! that way, the females can no longer complain about forgetting to put the toilet seat down. that way, with the LID also down, she gotta remember to put it back up.

never heard anything about the toilet seat up or down, since!