Wade Wrote:I honestly don't think I did misrepresent anything. I put up a full body pic (shirt on) and in the body type section of the profile I put "a little extra." The other guy just kept asking me to put up more and more pics, I was starting to get nervous.
I never thought I'd look for casual sex. I've always assumed I'd have to trick someone into loving me through my personality before id let them see me naked.
Hey, Wade, I think the real issue here is how you feel about yourself. (I say this having many of the same body issues you do on top of pushing 70!, LOL!!)
Not being you and knowing him or all the details, my suggestion is you meet the guy. Try to put your head into a space of accepting whatever the outcome may be. Being turned on sexually by another guy can be as simple as looks and it can be way more complicated, too, having to do with mood, degree of horniness, level of experience -- all sorts of things.
Before I go further, let me disclose that I'm not someone who has even been into hookups. I've had them on occasion but mostly not. Partly because of my own 'self image' issues, partly out of fear of rejection, partly out of just plain dumb fear of meeting strangers, and partly it just isn't "my thing" (so to say).
That disclosed, what I've seen is that if someone shows interest in me (and this guy has shown interest in you), there's a good chance this is going to go in a good direction. It is NOT a certainty, for sure, but that it isn't a certainty may only have a small part to do with what you "look like".
Getting sexually aroused by someone is "chemical" -- it has to do with triggering certain chemical responses in the brain of the other guy. Now, that's rather abstract but think about it. What turns you on? Is it *only* appearance? Chances are there are other qualities in men that excite you, too. Equally, there can be other qualities that turn off those 'make me horny' chemicals, too.
So... in my experience, how I'm feeling about myself has a lot to do with what can happen. If, for example, I'm feeling desperate on one hand yet fearful on the other, this is not a good head-set for me to be in when meeting someone for the first time. I'm very vulnerable to their reaction to me. I'm apt to take it personal in a way that, like you say, feeds my already established negative self image. Sometimes this is such a bad head space, EVEN IF, they want to get physical, I still end up feeling like they're doing me a favor or something (mercy fuck).
OTOH, if I'm feeling good about myself and am more in the head space of, "Oh, what the hell, lets do this and see what happens... it's totally ok if nothing beyond meeting this guy and feeling it out happens," then it truly doesn't matter. Plus I think this increases the chances that something will happen. I'm feeling at least somewhat confident and I've already let go of the outcome. What ever it is, it isn't a statement about "me". Its just "what happens" (nothing more nor less).
There's lots more to this but, baseline, my recommendation is you 'go with it'... just meet the guy with as much of an 'open to whatever' attitude as you can muster. Put your fragile self-worth to the side a bit. You can always come back to that later. For sure you'll probably feel nervous, that's normal (everyone does to some extent, I think), but just don't let it rule you. Let your curiosity (and horniness) have more of the center stage. If, sadly, nothing more than meeting happens, well, at least you gave it a shot, right? If, happily, you *both* feel like you want to take this a bit further and begin to touch one another, just let that take its course. That's when the REAL brain chemicals start exploding!
Have fun, play safe!
Casual Hookup/Body shame issues
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