Moving to a new state.

[Laysh]

So, my nephew is moving to Cali to be with his GF and they want me to move out there to be with them. (They think it would be good for me...) I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty nervous. I've lived in the same area for my whole life and while I loath the small town I'm in, I love my friends. They are my support group and mis-matched family. I've also been at my first and only job for 8 years coming in Feb, and unfortunately the company is only established in Texas. My Mom and Dad are also worried that I'm throwing my established life away for a gamble.

Now I know this is a big step, and I'm still some what young, so it might be the best time for me to do something like this. However, I would still like some advice/thoughts from anyone, who might have some experience on moving to another state. I hate doing anything without a plan and everyone is telling me the cost of living is 3x the amount that I'm paying now and that's scaring me a lot.

[East]

Hi! I am a Native Californian and I love my state...will live here 'til I die...but the prices are astronomical in the SF Bay Area and Silicon Valley.....

...there is a serious crisis on the horizon as the Middle Class is almost gone and there is no affordable housing left...

Where in CA were you guys planning to move to?

[Laysh]

I hear its amazingly beautiful there and his GF tells me that the community is completely different from where I'm at. Your news don't bode well for me then, as she lives about an hour away from San Fransisco, I think its Monterey or something? She says its a small town near a national park.

[Hardheaded1]

Hi, Laysh.

Welcome.

I know these forums include a lot of shy-ish posting about details, but you're really gonna have to flesh out the picture a little more for anyone to give you more than generalizations.

Why kind of work do you do? What are your skills/training/education? Why are your nephew and his GF encouraging you to go? Is it because you gripe about the town by habit, or because you really are unhappy there? What area of California is the target? Are you out where you live?

My history is that I lived in Arkansas for 45 years and then pulled up stakes after the deaths of family members that I no longer needed to look after. I moved to New Mexico to accept a job, a state where I knew no one and where I had no family. The job I took was challenging, but rewarding, and I particularly enjoyed the type of restart it afforded me. Adapting to a city of 700,000 after living in one of only 14,000 was fun, but costs were indeed higher and housing was four times what I had paid in my economically depressed hometown.

A year later my job changed. The company was a subcontractor to a large aerospace company, and when a contract was lost by them, we lost the bulk of the project I was hired to support. Even so, I was offered a different position and at an 8% raise. I declined and accepted a new job in Anchorage, Alaska from a completely different kind of company I had worked for. Zero friends or family in Alaska. I worked there for over two years before coming back to Albuquerque.

Inside me, I knew I had a lot of grit and bravery. The moves were very gutsy things to do. The journey has given me more self-confidence than I could have had where I lived. I was surrounded by a sea of friends of all degrees in my hometown. That blanket is now removed and I have had to adapt to life with less security and fewer friends. New friends often prove to be flakes or unreliable, but I keep meeting people and making new ones.

If I had it to do over again, I'd still jump. I'm here if you want to PM. Best of luck to you with your decision.

Jason

[MikeW]

California isn't Texas.. Very different culture, especially along the coast. (The central valley is another matter.) Sounds like you don't know where you're going. You need to at least look at a map and figure that out!

I picked up and moved here when I was 25 years old and I don't regret it. However, that was another time, another era… and things are far more difficult now economically than they were then. My personality fit right in with Berkeley culture and politics… first place on the planet I ever felt at home. However, your situation sounds different. You sound well adapted to your home town… California (not "Cali" *ever!*) is a WHOLE other world, one you might not like much at all. But, yes, it is beautiful… Especially the coast and the mountains.

[Viltans]

Hi, Laysh.

When I moved to the town where I live now (not an other state, only 120 km far), I had already spent time there to be sure it was a right place and met people there and made new friends... So I already knew what I had to know about this new area, based on my own judgement. I wasn't dependent on other people as I had already found a location before to move, (and had a car, simple thing but essential in a small town !).

That's just an advice, I'm not claiming to have all the right answers but why wouldn't you do the same as I did*? Let your nephew go there before*: as having a partner his situation is really different, he is ready to start a new life... Then go there one or two times [SIZE="1"](a couple of times? I don't know how to say)[/SIZE], spend time there, meet their friends and finally decide by yourself if it's a good idea.

«Sometimes perfect is the enemy of good...», be carefull.

[Hardheaded1]

Oh, I forgot to add to my tome above.

Why not let your nephew and GF move, but you remain behind. Apply for work in their town. Do it online. Once you have a promising interview, travel to take it and check out the town while you are there.

It is a true statement that it is easier to get a job when you have a job. Giving up yours and throwing caution to the wind could be seen to be a risk to a potential employer, depending upon your line of work.

Heck, I just read the post above mine. What he said.

[edhued]

It's not hard to move to a new place, I did that so many times, the only part I hate is starting from zero. My advice in your situation, I don't think it's a good idea for you to move. My reason isn't because you can't do it, it just sound to me that you don't want it. From my understanding is that you want to do it because your nephew and how they think it's going to be better for you.

[East]

I hear its amazingly beautiful there and his GF tells me that the community is completely different from where I'm at. Your news don't bode well for me then, as she lives about an hour away from San Fransisco, I think its Monterey or something? She says its a small town near a national park.

Well...that is not so bad really.....you could do Monterey alot easier. That is no longer the SF bay Area or Silicon Valley...it is referred to as the Monterey Bay Area....MUCH BETTER in terms of housing and affordability. I think there are a few place in the outer part of Monterey County...like King City...that you can live very cheap. There are towns attached like Marina, Sand City and Seaside that aren't too expensive...and Monterey happens to be my favorite city on the planet...I would LOVE to live there and plan to one day.

Monterey is less corporate than the SF Bay Area ...and that is a good thing. There are a few very wealthy communities there...Carmel and Pacific Grove...Old Money...Clint Eastwood was Mayor at one time...the actual city of Monterey runs the gamut. The park you are referring to is Big Basin...it is breathtaking. You will also be close to Santa Cruz and Salinas....Salinas is somewhat affordable.....

Monterey IS amazingly beautiful. I spend quite alot of time in the area. It is considered California's Central Coast and I personally can't think of a better place to live in the State of California (or anywhere)....

My favorite restaurant is in a town 20 minutes away...Moss Landing...I usually go there once a week....

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I assure you, such a move is not going to end well.

You need a plan of action.

The best move I ever did was the one where I spent a year saving up money and working toward pre-set goals to make the move. Things like lining up a job, like lining up housing options, like having more than a couple dollars in pocket.

I moved to the Bay Area - the catch is that I lived in the Bay area a few years earlier for a couple years already, so I knew rather well what to expect when I got there.

I say let your Nephew get his life together and then go visit him a few times, get a feel for the 'hood. He has the GF as a safety net and appears to have some long term goals with her, I think it would be a bit much to expect her to act as a safety net for two men.

I would suggest looking at your present company a lot closer and try to figure out where it is going. The days of the one career/company for life are over. That was the 20th century, in the 21st century most people are pretty much forced to retool and change up their career choices more than once in life. Downsizing, Economic Depression, new technologies making jobs redundant, and other stuff has lead to the work-force being in a state of flux and there being far less certainty about the long term future when it comes to the job.

The choice you have is how and when you get to make your career/company move and how you go about it.

Seems to me you have an opportunity here, but just need to take baby steps, set down some solid ground rules and start shopping around for companies in the potential new hometown area.

Understand California's economy has gone from 5th to 9th largest in this century. This is a sudden and rapid decline which is still pretty much in free-fall. There is also the water shortage (drought) which is going to bring major changes to California's primary economy (agriculture) this year and next year if it doesn't rain enough, this is going to trickle down and outward to affect every other type of business through the state, just like the rolling black-outs caused problems with companies who didn't experience a single brown out, but were affected by delays and loss of power in other companies.

While the Monterrey area is beautiful and all of that, and you are close to culture and other wonderful things, there is the deep dark underbelly of the bay area and outlying regions which is getting worse, not better as economic woes continue to beat on the poor and drive the middle class closer to extinction as the few who get rich get richer, and everyone else gets poorer.

These are things you seriously need to consider and plan around/for.