figuring out my sexual preferences

[ThirdEyeGaze]

22 year old male
i have been curious about my sexual orientation since i was about 16 when my friend masturbated in the bed we were on while i was there to sleep over,and i wanted to touch it, (and almost reached out for it )but i was 99% sure he was straight which just made me feel awkward waiting for him to finish. because i knew we wouldn't do anything together.

i have had only one girlfriend, and we used to have a decent amount of sex. but i would always rather be with my guy friends.

i have almost fooled around with guys a couple times when i was drunk but got nervous that they would be straight and stop me and freak out n tell everyone i know that i'm gay.

that was a couple years ago

since then i had a short week long relation ship with a girl, we had sex twice and then i had to leave and we just ended.( i was in another province at the time)

but even while we where having sex i felt pretty uninterested and came rather quickly.

the whole while becoming more interested in male P*rnography and fantasies ( starting since watching my friend masturbate under the blankets the year before my longish term first girlfriend )

growing more and more confused about my sexual orientation and not knowing where there are any gay communities around where i live to try anything with other guys and do some experimenting.

i have had no further relationships with either sex and have watched about equal parts straight and gay (maybe leaning more toward gay)

lately i have started to get frustrated with not knowing because i have this pull toward guys that i want to know if it is serious, which i feel it is.

most of my fantasies even when they involve women also involve sucking or receiving a man, which excites me like nothing before.

i feel so trapped with my sexuality
do you think i am straight? bi? gay? or straight and just curious about an actual gay encounter? can i be all of them at the same time ?!?

[Camfer]

You should be able to get into Vancouver and explore around with some guys there.

Let's face it, straight guys don't spend time wondering if they're more attracted to women or men. You ain't straight. Deal with it now for the longest amount of fulfilled life ahead of you. Don't drag this realization out. You can have a happy time in your 20s and beyond as the non-straight guy that you are.

[trywait]

also you spend a lot of your 20s discovering your self-identify! just be yourself! do what makes you happy

[TwisttheLeaf]

Hey man. I'm familiar with the area where you live. Abbotsford is... a bit closeted yeah? As a whole, I mean. Or at least that was my experience with that area (Abbostford, Mission, Chilliwack, et al). Although there are gays in the area, they are less likely to be as open about it than if you were to be a bit more to the west (ie: Vancouver)

I would suggest maybe taking a weekend trip out to Vancouver and check out Davie Street. (Here's a little info for you.)

Here are a few resources that may also help you...

http://www.queerbc.com/regional/low_main.htm
http://www.mydavievillage.com/BurbsFraserValley.html
http://www.fraservalleybc.com/links_page...sgendered/

I hope that helps. And, welcome to GS!

Oh, as for your inclinations. It sounds like you lie somewhere on the bi spectrum. Until you get out there and experiment with what you're interested in and like... you won't be able to pin it down to -where- on the spectrum you lie.

[jimcrackcorn]

There are two gay bars in your area, "The Stage Nightclub & Rumors Cabaret". The first one is in Fraser Valley, and the second one is in Bellingham. You can get the directions from this link: http://www.yelp.com/search?cflt=gaybars&...ford%2C+BC

There's not a lot of Gay businesses in small towns, you may have to look-up gay dating sites on the internet for your town and see if you can meet any guys thru those sites.

Remember, always be careful & safe. Meet new people in public places where you can bail if things don't feel right,,, and,,, always use condoms.............

Sincerely,
Jim

[ThirdEyeGaze]

do you think my friend was trying to start something with me ? or is that normal straight teen activity ?
just realizing i might have not picked up on a big hint

[MikeW]

Welcome to GS… I agree with [MENTION=20941]Camfer[/MENTION] , I think we can safely cross "straight" off the list. As for the rest of it… well… gee… You're just gona haveta find some way of meeting guys to test it all out. Can't exactly do that in the abstract, now can ya? I see there are several who list Abbotsford as the first location on RealJock. You might join and try contacting some of them. Someone has already posted some bars. Have you put a hook-up app on your phone? That's another start. I hear rumors that Mc Donald, Horn Creek and Delair parks get some action off the trails. One usually starts around the men's room… And if you're into that kind of thing, the urinals in West Oaks Mall are rather notorious. Or so I've heard. Don't know first hand or anything.

[MikeW]

do you think my friend was trying to start something with me ? or is that normal straight teen activity ?
just realizing i might have not picked up on a big hint

Who knows. Boys will be boys and just because they get off with one another, especially when they're horny teens, doesn't mean they are *in fact* gay.

So I vote for the normal… but you could always ask him, I supposed. I mean HE started it, right?

[Darius]

To me, you didn't say anything to indicate you were anything other than gay.

[oreosplz93]

I hope you figure it out, try some things with some guys