Need advice on Ex-Fiance
01-15-2015, 01:12 AM
About 5 months ago my ex and I ended things. We had only been together for 2 years and things moved fast, from moving into together to getting married to getting a puppy.
Please be patient while I write this:
Early on in the relationship I noticed he had a couple of guys around him who he said were very good friends but I thought were interested in more than just friends. There was an incident when I met an older man he was friends with who told me that only he had permission to touch my fiancé in certain areas. The guy treated me like shit each time I met him. Another friend who he shares office space with - they are both consultants - they see each other everyday and this friend only dates latinos - which my fiancé is - I would catch staring at him even when my fiancé was talking. This guy also would send out mass emails to people telling them how important my fiancé was to him. Those are just two people who I thought he awkward relationships with, but I loved him so much I looked past a lot of things that bothered me because I still wanted him in my life. But from time to time, we would get in argument about these two guys for the way they treated me, I just thought he should say something. He never would.
What I am looking for here is, is what would you do? I know i have issues, but I don't think I am insecure and none of my family or friends say that I am. I don't think I am crazy either. I've tried to look at it through his eyes, but I keep coming to the conclusion that I never allowed family or friends to make him uncomfortable, in fact exactly the opposite. Its just so hard to walk away from someone I loved so much. I miss the times we had together but I am having trouble with the fact there were more bad times than good. Is it okay to love someone you can't be with and who isn't good for you? How do you handle these issues with friends in the gay community? Do people ask other people to get married for the wrong reasons? I have so many questions and I am so confused. Any advice would be appreciated.
Please be patient while I write this:
Early on in the relationship I noticed he had a couple of guys around him who he said were very good friends but I thought were interested in more than just friends. There was an incident when I met an older man he was friends with who told me that only he had permission to touch my fiancé in certain areas. The guy treated me like shit each time I met him. Another friend who he shares office space with - they are both consultants - they see each other everyday and this friend only dates latinos - which my fiancé is - I would catch staring at him even when my fiancé was talking. This guy also would send out mass emails to people telling them how important my fiancé was to him. Those are just two people who I thought he awkward relationships with, but I loved him so much I looked past a lot of things that bothered me because I still wanted him in my life. But from time to time, we would get in argument about these two guys for the way they treated me, I just thought he should say something. He never would.
What I am looking for here is, is what would you do? I know i have issues, but I don't think I am insecure and none of my family or friends say that I am. I don't think I am crazy either. I've tried to look at it through his eyes, but I keep coming to the conclusion that I never allowed family or friends to make him uncomfortable, in fact exactly the opposite. Its just so hard to walk away from someone I loved so much. I miss the times we had together but I am having trouble with the fact there were more bad times than good. Is it okay to love someone you can't be with and who isn't good for you? How do you handle these issues with friends in the gay community? Do people ask other people to get married for the wrong reasons? I have so many questions and I am so confused. Any advice would be appreciated.
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