01-15-2015, 07:26 PM
Hello dear guys.
I have posted my first topic last summer regarding the penile activity. Many of you responded and gave me directions where to start from. And I work hard on it. Well, things happen slowly, but I am in the right direction. Thank you for all.
Now, I need your attention once again. And advice. I have nobody to speak with about it. I moved to study on a new place four months ago and feel very lonely. I feel an alien here. Small town, high- brow classmates, new way of life... Doesn't matter, this is not the main issue.
I have a strange desire/ affection/ addiction to a much older man from my past. He is 54 and looks great, really great. Imagine, ripped smooth body, a real athlete with a few signs of his age- grey elements in his hair. Anyway. The personality is a great one. He is an artist, he has a life rich of experience, a very interesting person. I feel strangely attracted to him and I don't know why. That's the problem,
I check his posts on facebook, few times everyday. I read regularly our message thread from the past. I always think how great our mettings were. He is a great and passionate lover. His words and time spent together made me feel great, liked and desired.
But he doesn't pay me attention, or at least, not as much as I think he should. Strangely enough, his words are not matching with his actions. If I was as nice and great as he is always saying to me why then, I am the person who stays in touch with him, who keeps this "friendship" alive. Well, three months ago when I moved to study at the uni I developed a deep depression (not because of him). Many of my friends spoke to me, including him and thanks to their help I improved significantly afterwards. He also didn't miss my birthday and sent me a lovely message. But normally, I feel I am the person who is taking action about our "stay in touch". I feel like being an unimportant person to him, just another number who passed through his naked body. And the thought rof this eally scares me. As if I see I am just another piece of flesh for him, but I don't want accept the truth. Not a while ago I watched the movie "The Phantom of the Opera". Because of my experience with this mature man I saw myself in the Phantom. Yes, I am not a mad genius like him, who would kill and crack chandelliers for the subject of his life but... I find a strange similarity with this character and I am scared.
I don't have such an obsession with other guys. I do my best at school. Though my grades are not very high at the moment, I mark an improvement at the uni. I train judo twice a week in the uni club. My housemates are the best ones, I feel them like my family. I have friends in different European countries. I have hobbies etc. But I have a deep personality and experience many things too personally.
So, dear friends, help me. How could I overcome this? What would help me? How could I frighten away the ghost of this man. How to remove the Phantom of the Opera off my mind?
Thank you in advance.
Sparrowhawk.
I have posted my first topic last summer regarding the penile activity. Many of you responded and gave me directions where to start from. And I work hard on it. Well, things happen slowly, but I am in the right direction. Thank you for all.
Now, I need your attention once again. And advice. I have nobody to speak with about it. I moved to study on a new place four months ago and feel very lonely. I feel an alien here. Small town, high- brow classmates, new way of life... Doesn't matter, this is not the main issue.
I have a strange desire/ affection/ addiction to a much older man from my past. He is 54 and looks great, really great. Imagine, ripped smooth body, a real athlete with a few signs of his age- grey elements in his hair. Anyway. The personality is a great one. He is an artist, he has a life rich of experience, a very interesting person. I feel strangely attracted to him and I don't know why. That's the problem,
I check his posts on facebook, few times everyday. I read regularly our message thread from the past. I always think how great our mettings were. He is a great and passionate lover. His words and time spent together made me feel great, liked and desired.
But he doesn't pay me attention, or at least, not as much as I think he should. Strangely enough, his words are not matching with his actions. If I was as nice and great as he is always saying to me why then, I am the person who stays in touch with him, who keeps this "friendship" alive. Well, three months ago when I moved to study at the uni I developed a deep depression (not because of him). Many of my friends spoke to me, including him and thanks to their help I improved significantly afterwards. He also didn't miss my birthday and sent me a lovely message. But normally, I feel I am the person who is taking action about our "stay in touch". I feel like being an unimportant person to him, just another number who passed through his naked body. And the thought rof this eally scares me. As if I see I am just another piece of flesh for him, but I don't want accept the truth. Not a while ago I watched the movie "The Phantom of the Opera". Because of my experience with this mature man I saw myself in the Phantom. Yes, I am not a mad genius like him, who would kill and crack chandelliers for the subject of his life but... I find a strange similarity with this character and I am scared.
I don't have such an obsession with other guys. I do my best at school. Though my grades are not very high at the moment, I mark an improvement at the uni. I train judo twice a week in the uni club. My housemates are the best ones, I feel them like my family. I have friends in different European countries. I have hobbies etc. But I have a deep personality and experience many things too personally.
So, dear friends, help me. How could I overcome this? What would help me? How could I frighten away the ghost of this man. How to remove the Phantom of the Opera off my mind?
Thank you in advance.
Sparrowhawk.