I love hearing love stories. So, my question is: How did you meet your boyfriend/partner and what moment did you feel like "He is the one"? (I know some don't believe in that, so I will use the term loosely.) : ]
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I will search the archives and see if I can find my story..I think I told it here before. It is a weird one for most people...and a long one for me to type LOL....
...but I definitely knew he was (and is ) my soulmate.
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I met other half at a nightclub. I went out with a buddy that night and so did he. Each of our buddies were out on the dance floor, leaving both of us standing on our own. My friend and his friend knew each other, but we did not and so we started talking. We got along really well, but were not each other's type. He asked for my number and I gave it to him, but I did not really expect a call, because people all the time in these situations say they will call, but it rarely happens, but a couple days later he called and invited me over to his place for dinner. That was 12 years ago and we have been together ever since. If it hadn't been for our friends leaving us both standing there we would have never met, as if I were cruising around the bar, he is not someone that would have caught my eye, and neither would I have caught his.
There is a lesson here for all you lonely souls. Get beyond the idea of having a type, and you just might just find the one for you.
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Around 11 am December 27th 2006 on the beach in Gold Coast Queensland. I was 19, turning 20 in 4 days less than 24 hours out of Afghanistan with 3 marine buddies. I spotted him way off from the beach while he was surfing. I was inexperienced and still pretty closeted except to one of the marines i was with and crushing on. A hot Aussie surfer started making moves on my best bud -- my buddy introduced the two of us.
It was infatuation on my part back then, I guess. I'd been with one guy one time before that. I stayed broke flying to see him as much as I could and had to deal with being just a FWB for a few years. Then we had a fight, I broke up with him and he came chasing me flying from there to South Dakota. We both knew it was impossible for us to work out a relationship but we decided to try anyway.
He finally finished school in December 2014 and moved here on the 27th.... the 9th anniversary of our meeting. His parents and mine have become great friends. The wedding is on for July 11th 2015.
And now we look back and wonder how the fuck we ever pulled it off.
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I met my husband at a night club in 1995. It was about six months after I caught my wife cheating on me. I was trying to raise my 4 year old son, and despite my parents me urging me to meet a "nice girl" "form he sake of my son", I had only a couple of weeks prior fully accepted that I NEVER wanted to be with another woman again.
Carl (my husband), had just finished his tours with the Marines and was in town for a week working at the local Air Force Base for a Defense Contractor. He approached me at the bar and asked me if I was gay. I said, "Well, we are in a Gay Bar aren't we?" and he responded, "I have just never met a man that looks like you in a gay bar.". I was immediately offended and interested at the same time. We had what I believed was a one night stand.
I didn't expect to hear from him again for a few reasons: firstly, we were both tops, so even though I found him terribly handsome, the sex had been awkward; secondly, I knew he would only be in town for about a week and he lived almost 400 miles away; thirdly, I had no intention of "confusing" my son who's mother had just a couple of weeks prior been arrested for possession of 2 keys of cocaine with intent to distribute.
However, a couple of days later he called me just to chat, and damn if I didn't enjoy talking to him! I saw him again for some more awkward sex the day before he left to go back home, and again I didn't expect to hear from or see him again....but he kept calling me all week. When the weekend arrived he unexpectedly showed up at my house and discovered I had a child (I hadn't told him), so what he had planned as a "booty-call" turned into a weekend of child care! Lol
For the next year, he drove ~ 400 miles to my house every Friday and left to drive back again every Sunday afternoon....every week...for a year!
Finally, before he left to drive back one Sunday, he asked me to move to Dallas and live with him. Two weeks later, I quit my job at a manufacturing company and I packed up me and my kid into my old Pontiac Grand Marque and moved to Dallas.
Skip forward 5 1/2 years, and my wife got out of jail. It was a different time then, and I lost custody of my son. A week later I caught Carl cheating on me. While he was at work, I packed up my (new) car and I left him. I refused to take his calls for 8 years.
A little over 4 years ago, Carl somehow managed to get my phone number. When I answered, he begged me not to hang up and I didnt. We got married a year later. It has been FAR from your typical romance. Even further from a perfect relationship, but we are still together and I don't regret it.
Sorry for such a long post, but not every relationship is sweet and perfect. Ours certainly isn't, but I wouldn't trade it.
~Beaux
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Wow [MENTION=13210]Beaux[/MENTION]. Now I know you understand what Jay and I went through making a relationship out of what we KNEW could never become one.
I went through about 3 years of seeing him 3-4 times a year as his Yank fuck buddy and always hearing him talk about other guys he was doing it with. I couldn't say anything about how much it upset me to hear all that cuz we weren't committed to each other. I messed around with some guys but TBH it was always either like a unemotional body function (get undressed, take a shower and either A) take a shit or B) fuck a guy, then get dressed, flush the turd and never see it or him again.) OR... things never got to the point of sex.
The fight was the best thing that happened to us and I always leave out a big detail when I tell the story to strangers. He was really feeling down so I thought I'd cheer him up by making a surprise flight to spend Easter Sunday with him and fly back. I went from the airport straight to his church and waited without calling him. An hour later he came in with another guy -- a real bar slut I'd met before on visits. Jay's first words to me were "why are you here?" Now take into consideration I'd just crossed the International Date Line and had maybe 4 hours sleep in the past 30.... things didn't go well at all. He got rid of the bar slut, we say through church services and the whole time never spoke or touched. When that was over we tried talking but he was in a rage and I was too hurt and sleep deprived to be rational. I made him take me back to the airport and I waited close to 6 hours for my flight home.
When I got home I found out he'd been talking to my room mate AND my Mom. DRAMA! I was over him and the hurt and being friends with benefits and I was ready to move on. I refused to talk to him and canned every email or text he sent me. Twelve days later the little fucker was banging on my door in South Dakota. We talked almost around the clock for three days, never taking off clothes, sleeping in them before we got a pad of paper and started drawing up a plan just to "see" how we could possibly make things work out. It was like negotiating a business merger I guess except neither of us could see how we could ever make things work out good for both of us. That took five years and it all happened in tiny baby steps that were so small sometimes we didn't notice them until afterwards.
Now after living together for 22 days straight.. and the nine years it took to get to this point.... both of us approach it now as, "well fuck it. We're stuck with each other, aren't we?" and laugh about it.... I mean everyday... and I mean laugh sometimes for ten minutes about it.
And like you and Carl....... both of us were and still are tops... my usual strategy about that has always been to use my size and strength to settle the matter and ALWAYS makes sure he enjoys it enough to want to do it again. And... all that's done is make him treat me the same way when he tops... wooooo hoooooo! You won't ever hear me complain about that!
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
and all of that is why I'm not real good or sympathetic on advice about guys who break up and fight over silly little messy crap.
The relationship has to come first. That means that the "you and the me" that make up the relationship need to put egos on leashes. be ready and willing to make sacrifices and expect nothing back from them, and stop sweating the details if you ever want to make it into the big picture together.
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In church. I wrote "I shook my husband's hand tonight" in my journal. We didn't actually go out until four months later, though. That was coming up on 12 years ago.
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