Giving Myself Permission
01-18-2015, 01:01 PM
So, I went to Wal*Mart yesterday without wearing blinders. Since I have acknowledged my sexuality, I "gave myself permission" to enjoy the scenery. In the past, I would shun the urge to look. Of course, I am not looking to be with anyone, and I have to be discrete because I am still closeted, but I did enjoy the change.
To my enjoyment, there was a Nordic ski team shopping at the time. I browsed that department without being obvious. It is easy to browse in Electronics without buying anything. What a nice looking bunch of guys. Two of them looked like they may be a couple, but then again, members of Nordic teams sometimes have close friendships without it being a gay thing.
My daughter and I then went to the discount store. As we approached the entrance, I noticed the same group of guys getting out of a vehicle. I stayed away from them in this store to avoid being perceived as creepy. Luckily, when we went to the dollar store, they were nowhere to be found.
It was a different experience shopping without blinders on. I actually felt free from an invisible cage. I know that I could have it better if I were out, but that is not in the cards at this time.
To my enjoyment, there was a Nordic ski team shopping at the time. I browsed that department without being obvious. It is easy to browse in Electronics without buying anything. What a nice looking bunch of guys. Two of them looked like they may be a couple, but then again, members of Nordic teams sometimes have close friendships without it being a gay thing.
My daughter and I then went to the discount store. As we approached the entrance, I noticed the same group of guys getting out of a vehicle. I stayed away from them in this store to avoid being perceived as creepy. Luckily, when we went to the dollar store, they were nowhere to be found.
It was a different experience shopping without blinders on. I actually felt free from an invisible cage. I know that I could have it better if I were out, but that is not in the cards at this time.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
