First time sex

[Matt23]

So I have been seeing this guy I go to school with. We are both not out. I really like him a lot. So far, we've only kissed and jerked each other off. He wants to have sex and I do too but I'm nervous. He's a lot more experienced than me. He's been with several guys, I think he's still a virgin but he's definitely given blow jobs and stuff. Anyway, I'm nervous. How do I prepare? Do we need to use condoms? Should I top or bottom? What if he wants to top, how do I prepare for that? I'm kind of nervous that I won't enjoy it or that it will hurt too much. Can you give any advice?

[TwisttheLeaf]

HELL YES you need to use condoms. AND lube. Lots of lube.

Whether you top or bottom depends on how you feel although, to be honest, I suggest trying both at least once at some point.

The first time is going to hurt when you bottom. It's just the way it goes. Just relax and don't get so worked up with worries and fears that you're too nervous to enjoy it.

[LJay]

Do yourselves both a favor. Be safe. Relax. Take your time. You get more chances. Communicate. Be kind. It is OK to learn.

[MikeW]

Do yourselves both a favor. Be safe. Relax. Take your time. You get more chances. Communicate. Be kind. It is OK to learn.

Yeah, that's actually very good advice.

Most likely you've both watched gay porn. Keep in mind that most porn is scripted and acting. What goes on between two real live human beings could be very different.

For example, it doesn't have to happen in 20 minutes or less. It is fun to have a LOT of foreplay. Like getting in a shower together and scrubbing one another good, inside and out, and *then* getting into bed. Have lots of lube and towels to clean up messes. (I like making love by candle light but that's just me.)

Take your time, work your way up, always staying with what feels good and comfortable. You want to be pleasured but you also want to pleasure your partner, increasing one another's state of arousal but not pushing one another over the edge.

Annal sex does take practice. It is unlikely the first time will go smoothly. It *could* but more likely it will feel awkward and weird (and somewhat painful). That does change with time, experience and practice -- But the first time will NOT be the best sex you'll ever have in your life -- and I GUARANTEE THAT or I'm not avuncular Mr. Mike!

[lonley]

Matt23, I have to say that they are giving you some great advice !! I would also take your time there is no rush if you do hurry one or both of you might get hurt and that would not be good. I would talk to him and tell him that you want to be with him but you want to go slow so you can enjoy each other and have a safe but wonderful experience with him !!

[Matt23]

Thanks everyone for your advice. I'm going to see him tonight!!!

[Cinestry]

Have a good time tonight then

[princealbertofb]

Thanks everyone for your advice. I'm going to see him tonight!!!

Not sure where you are concerning the law, but I hope your guy is not 18 or older because he could get into trouble if your parents decided that he'd molested you. In any case, be safe with condoms and lube, especially if he's already been with other guys. It will get you into good practices.
You might not enjoy anal sex much the first time, for all the reasons mentioned by others, but it might also give you an idea of whether to pursue or not. Practice makes perfect, they say, so doing it a few times and communicating about it will improve your love making. Do not hesitate to ask him to withdraw if there is too much discomfort, and also respect his asking if you're topping. After all you don't want to spoil the experience, do you? Good luck.
(Definitely take the age thing seriously, though).

[Matt23]

Not sure where you are concerning the law, but I hope your guy is not 18 or older because he could get into trouble if your parents decided that he'd molested you. In any case, be safe with condoms and lube, especially if he's already been with other guys. It will get you into good practices.
You might not enjoy anal sex much the first time, for all the reasons mentioned by others, but it might also give you an idea of whether to pursue or not. Practice makes perfect, they say, so doing it a few times and communicating about it will improve your love making. Do not hesitate to ask him to withdraw if there is too much discomfort, and also respect his asking if you're topping. After all you don't want to spoil the experience, do you? Good luck.
(Definitely take the age thing seriously, though).

Thanks. He is 16, like me.

[princealbertofb]

Thanks. He is 16, like me.

You're probably legally safe then. But I don't know what West Virginia has to say about the age of consent... for gay males.

http://www.age-of-consent.info/states/West_Virginia

It would seem you are both ok to consent to consensual sex. My concern came from a documentary film I saw recently concerning California, in which a barely 18-year-old was indicted for having sex with someone who was only 16 (and he didn't know it, because the other guy said he was 18). He's currently serving three years in jail and will be registered as a sex offender for the rest of his life. Silly, isn't it?