Rekindling a friendship from the long lost dead

[ChrisH]

Last year I had a best friend and he's gay. And over a period of about four months, while I was reeling off a bad breakup, he had a growing attraction to me and eventually came forward about it. But not in the best way and certainly not the safest way ("safe" being used here as "not getting in serious trouble by his family or mine"). After being very obvious with flirting with me for a few weeks, he decided he should show up at my house at 3 in the morning and wake me up. And after telling him to go home over the phone, he then decided to hang outside a class of mine until I got out of it (a couple of days later). The way he ended up letting me know that he was highly interested in me beyond friends certainly began to destroy this friendship to a massive falling out point, right up to the point of him making some horrible social media posts about me.

Then three months later last summer, when we thought things were okay, it began again, and that was over within a week.

Here we are, it's been about a year, and I get a random "Heyyy..." in a social media inbox.

I'm not sure that after everything that blew up last year, that I want to rekindle a dead and buried friendship from the grave. It's a somewhat nice thought provided this doesn't happen again but is it worth it?

And I apologize for the TL;DR drama, I felt this needed some context.

[Hardheaded1]

I am not reading anything in your post that is the positive side of your argument. All you have done is post reasons for the rest of us to say "don't go back."

There must be something there that is an attraction for you, platonic or other, that makes you consider whether to turn your back on the drama or not.

And, some people like drama, so that may not be a negative for you. I don't, so this friendship is toast in my book.

For what it's worth, on this side of the Rio Grande, I had an on-again-off-again, purely platonic friendship end last year, and I'm glad to be rid of it.

[Rareboy]

I'd leave it alone. If you were that upset before...I see it only ending up at the same place.

[Borg69]

Well meaning psycho-fucks are still psycho-fucks.

He's probably co-dependent, clingy, obsessive, neurotic, and bipolar as well.

What won't he do to prove his love? ... or worse, what will he expect YOU to do to prove yours?

I say run. Run fast. And don't look back.

[edhued]

And I apologize for the TL;DR drama, I felt this needed some context.

I'm pretty sure you know what to do then, leave it like this and RUN AWAY my friend. Just sounds like a negative friendship to me.

[Miles]

Initially read all this thinking the events in question occurred in high school or something - seeing your age (assuming he's about the same age) and noticing the words "last year" make me more inclined to doubt that this guy is going to grow up or respect your boundaries another time around. Some things are best left buried.

[Nanaki]

This former friend sounds like he seriously needs to mature and learn healthy boundaries at best, and at worst, he could be dangerous. I would put this friendship behind me as well.

[CellarDweller]

a friend once told me: 'an ex is an ex for a reason', that pertains to friends too.

[excalibur77]

Yeah, I agree with what everyone said, specifically Hardheaded1.

In short, it's not worth digging up something you buried for a reason. There may be something about this friendship that makes you consider rekindling it that you're not telling us, but the bad sides of it that you've shared is enough reason to keep that friendship buried. You don't want to associate with someone like that.

[East]

I am reading this earlier and I kinda freaked out a bit. I put myself in your shoes when I was reading.

I had a series of very obsessive and pushy men at one time in my life which included a couple of stalkers and so this guy is a major red flag for me...and there is NO WAY I would ever go back.

...and of course I am going to advise you to stay away from him.
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THIS:[/COLOR]

After being very obvious with flirting with me for a few weeks, he decided he should show up at my house at 3 in the morning and wake me up. And after telling him to go home over the phone, he then decided to hang outside a class of mine until I got out of it (a couple of days later). The way he ended up letting me know that he was highly interested in me beyond friends certainly began to destroy this friendship to a massive falling out point, right up to the point of him making some horrible social media posts about me.
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NO...JUST NO![/SIZE][/COLOR]