Hello

[BlueStar]

Welcome to GS

[princealbertofb]

to the forum, Himself, Andy, Sir (aren't you a bit young to be called Sir? )
Hope you get to share a little more of yourself once you get around to it. I like to ask questions. Right now, I can't think of one to ask, except maybe, how did you gradually come to realise you were gay? Did something you saw, something you heard, something someone said make you realise?

[himself]

As I said, I'm a shut in. I joined a forum when I was 15, for since reason. I didn't expect to become familiar with people on there. After a few years, I struck up some sort of friendship with this man. I never thought I'd do that, but now I know that talking to people online can be good. Anyway, a month or so ago, I was talking to him and he told me that I was gay, just out of the blue. I used to always try to convince myself that I wasn't gay, but after he said that, I decided to stop trying to convince myself that I just lacked a sexual orientation and I admitted to myself that I am gay. Before that, I think I was kind of toying with the idea that I was gay, though. It's funny, when I was 10, I remember admitting to myself that I was gay, but for the next 10 years, I went into denial. When that man said I was gay, it finally felt kind of OK, because I respected him and maybe all I needed was one person that I respected to not look down on me for being gay. I'm bad at explaining stuff, so forgive me if this makes no sense.

[princealbertofb]

As I said, I'm a shut in. I joined a forum when I was 15, for since reason. I didn't expect to become familiar with people on there. After a few years, I struck up some sort of friendship with this man. I never thought I'd do that, but now I know that talking to people online can be good. Anyway, a month or so ago, I was talking to him and he told me that I was gay, just out of the blue. I used to always try to convince myself that I wasn't gay, but after he said that, I decided to stop trying to convince myself that I just lacked a sexual orientation and I admitted to myself that I am gay. Before that, I think I was kind of toying with the idea that I was gay, though. It's funny, when I was 10, I remember admitting to myself that I was gay, but for the next 10 years, I went into denial. When that man said I was gay, it finally felt kind of OK, because I respected him and maybe all I needed was one person that I respected to not look down on me for being gay. I'm bad at explaining stuff, so forgive me if this makes no sense.

No, Himself, Andy, Sir, it was perfectly ok and made quite a lot of sense. As we grow up I think we try to fit in with the general crowd while still trying to figure out what makes us special and specific. Maybe you opted for denial in the years following your 10th birthday because it was the easiest coping mechanism for you at the time in your circumstances.
So you respected that man who told you you were gay. Where do you stand with your family and friends (if you have any friends? - not doubting, just asking)? How do you think they will take the news? Do you care how they take it? Will there be some consequences to deal with? Do you feel stronger from having admitted to yourself that you are gay? At first, it won't feel like it, but you will eventually feel that strength.

[himself]

I am out to nobody. I don't really have friends - that's probably as much of a reflection of the times we live in as it as a reflection of me. I don't want to tell family - we're not the kind of family who share personal stuff with each other, so it would just be weird to tell them.

One thing I've noticed is that now that I've admitted it, my feelings towards other people are changing. Before, I might have felt a bit jealous when I saw attractive boys. Now, I can admire them, instead. It took a while to be able to think sexual thoughts about other people, which is probably odd. In the past few days, I was thinking about this boy, and I realised that I actually want to do things to him, which is a good sign.

[Rareboy]

Have you thought about possibly getting some clinical evaluation and counselling regarding your problems with socialization and apparent disassociation from pleasurable acitvities and pastimes?

A 21 year old, with no mental or physical issues should not be so quickly identifying themselves as shut-ins. And it appears that you have had a severely delayed sexual awakening......I have a cousin with some of the same tendencies and he has been diagnosed as a high level Asperger's and with some constructive psychological supports, has been able to more effectively connect with others and activities.

Please give this some thought in order to help you live a full and interesting life in the community.

[princealbertofb]

I am out to nobody. I don't really have friends - that's probably as much of a reflection of the times we live in as it as a reflection of me. I don't want to tell family - we're not the kind of family who share personal stuff with each other, so it would just be weird to tell them.

One thing I've noticed is that now that I've admitted it, my feelings towards other people are changing. Before, I might have felt a bit jealous when I saw attractive boys. Now, I can admire them, instead. It took a while to be able to think sexual thoughts about other people, which is probably odd. In the past few days, I was thinking about this boy, and I realised that I actually want to do things to him, which is a good sign.

It's only a good sign if he wants to do the same things to you or with you... Otherwise, it's a recipe for disaster... Sorry to burst your bubble. Any hopes?

[himself]

It's only a good sign if he wants to do the same things to you or with you... Otherwise, it's a recipe for disaster... Sorry to burst your bubble. Any hopes?

Nope, but I can live with that. I just think it's good that I know I'd be up for it if the opportunity came along.

[Nanaki]

Nanaki, I love FFVII. I remember 'playing' it when I was very young. It gave me one of my first sexual experiences. I remember being disgusted but also aroused when Cloud was incapacitated and Tifa had to look after him.

FF7 is my favorite but I like most of the FFs and a lot of other old RPGs. It's always nice to meet a fellow FF fan! Do you enjoy any other RPGs or video games?

At the time FF7 came out, the part where Cloud had to dress as a woman was kind of groundbreaking. And I always got a kick out of the part where Cloud got into the hot tub with all the other guys - the sound effects of all their bodies squeaking together in there was unforgettable LOL.

You mentioned in your profile that you are a tea drinker. What kind do you like? I enjoy basic black teas the most. Especially a good English breakfast blend.

I can also relate to your feelings of being a shut in; I am a bit of a shut in myself. It sounds like you are making a bit of progress with that though by joining this forum and becoming more comfortable with being gay.

[chibigiraffe]

I am out to nobody. I don't really have friends - that's probably as much of a reflection of the times we live in as it as a reflection of me. I don't want to tell family - we're not the kind of family who share personal stuff with each other, so it would just be weird to tell them.

One thing I've noticed is that now that I've admitted it, my feelings towards other people are changing. Before, I might have felt a bit jealous when I saw attractive boys. Now, I can admire them, instead. It took a while to be able to think sexual thoughts about other people, which is probably odd. In the past few days, I was thinking about this boy, and I realised that I actually want to do things to him, which is a good sign.

wow, we are very similar, except i actually started coming out to people. and i can totally relate to everything you were saying about your feelings towards other guys changing. i was always very intimidated by guys and i always assumed it was because i was jealous or envious. but now i know its because i was denying my attraction towards them. now i don't feel initimidated by them. i do however still feel weird around guys i find attractive...