Hello all, I am in desperate need of some advice. I'm sorry if you read this thread in another gay forum, I'm just trying to get as many responses/opinions as possible.
So as some of you are aware of, I have written and currently in the process of publishing a gay novel (You can read about the book in this thread: https://gayspeak.com/showthread.php?p=531952#post531952). Up until this point, I wasn't out to my family, nor had I really thought about the consequences would be if I published a LGBT novel in a conservative part of North Carolina. While the first part of the book is loosely based on my life, the entire book is about 20% pulled from my life.
Now, my parents know that I'm gay, and that I have written this book. My father has read the first 80 pages, and while he says that the writing is great, he thinks that it should be "put on a shelf" not because of the gay content, but because my community might be able to tell that I'm referring to certain people/places in the area that I have tried to cover up. He also thinks that I need more time to come out to my other family members before they read the book. My mother didn't put it so nicely, saying that some of the content was "disturbing" after flipping through the book for two minutes.
The book is scheduled to be released on Feb. 24, which the book scheduled for printing at the first of next week. So I have two decisions. Either I go ahead with the release, and potentially face the problems that my parents fear, or I cancel the release, which means cancelling the release party on Feb. 21, cancelling all press material that I have prepared, and cancelling the video interview that was done and may be made public by the end of the week.
So what would you do? Would you cancel or would you press on and face the fears that my parents have for me?
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deltalover4 Wrote:Hello all, I am in desperate need of some advice. I'm sorry if you read this thread in another gay forum, I'm just trying to get as many responses/opinions as possible.
So as some of you are aware of, I have written and currently in the process of publishing a gay novel (You can read about the book in this thread: https://gayspeak.com/showthread.php?p=531952#post531952). Up until this point, I wasn't out to my family, nor had I really thought about the consequences would be if I published a LGBT novel in a conservative part of North Carolina. While the first part of the book is loosely based on my life, the entire book is about 20% pulled from my life.
Now, my parents know that I'm gay, and that I have written this book. My father has read the first 80 pages, and while he says that the writing is great, he thinks that it should be "put on a shelf" not because of the gay content, but because my community might be able to tell that I'm referring to certain people/places in the area that I have tried to cover up. He also thinks that I need more time to come out to my other family members before they read the book. My mother didn't put it so nicely, saying that some of the content was "disturbing" after flipping through the book for two minutes.
The book is scheduled to be released on Feb. 24, which the book scheduled for printing at the first of next week. So I have two decisions. Either I go ahead with the release, and potentially face the problems that my parents fear, or I cancel the release, which means cancelling the release party on Feb. 21, cancelling all press material that I have prepared, and cancelling the video interview that was done and may be made public by the end of the week.
So what would you do? Would you cancel or would you press on and face the fears that my parents have for me?
I think you're overestimating the risk of this book. NC is in the South but it is definitely being exposed to Northern culture constantly. It's definitely losing its "dixie" identity, slowly but surely. Part of losing that identity is becoming more open-minded.
Besides, you live close to Asheville so if you want to move there before releasing it I doubt you would get much flak for it.
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I write also, and the part that concerns me is if real people are that easily recognizable, is there any possibility of them accusing you of slander or libel? Are these public figures, and are you describing public actions on their parts that could be discovered by other means, or revealing things they have said/done that they don't necessarily want shared?
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ShiftyNJ Wrote:I write also, and the part that concerns me is if real people are that easily recognizable, is there any possibility of them accusing you of slander or libel? Are these public figures, and are you describing public actions on their parts that could be discovered by other means, or revealing things they have said/done that they don't necessarily want shared?
I think if that's a problem you should rewrite those characters to make them more distinct and general.
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ShiftyNJ Wrote:I write also, and the part that concerns me is if real people are that easily recognizable, is there any possibility of them accusing you of slander or libel? Are these public figures, and are you describing public actions on their parts that could be discovered by other means, or revealing things they have said/done that they don't necessarily want shared?
These are not public figures, nor could they be discovered by other means. But, the spots that concerned my father have since been changed to avoid such problems. I'm confident that as it is right now, will not get me in any trouble.
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deltalover4 Wrote:These are not public figures, nor could they be discovered by other means. But, the spots that concerned my father have since been changed to avoid such problems. I'm confident that as it is right now, will not get me in any trouble.
Release it, I'd say. It's not like you live in Mississippi- North Carolina has a lot of Northeastern influence and therefore isn't nearly as homophobic as the deep south.
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I say enjoy your 15-20 minutes of fame.
Better than waiting 10-20 years and kicking yourself for NOT doing it.
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Run to Walgreens and buy up a bunch of hallmark GET OVER IT cards for those who'll need them.
Get your book out. It sounds to me that your Mom and Dad are uncomfortable about the way they're possibly portrayed in the book... Assuming you accurately portrayed things they did or said they have no reason to hold you responsible for making them comfortable about things they did or said. Screw that.
This part of your OP blew my mind... "it should be "put on a shelf" not because of the gay content, but because my community might be able to tell that I'm referring to certain people/places in the area that I have tried to cover up. He also thinks that I need more time to come out to my other family members before they read the book."
okay... so what part of you coming out has anything to do with when the heck others are prepared to deal with it????? Your dad is is just worried about being embarrassed and expecting you to modify your intentions to meet his needs for not being embarrassed....
I'll quit now... I could rant on for ages about this type mess.
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Oh, just publish it. Thing is - we always think absolutely everybody in the world is going to notice when we do something like this. But even if the book becomes a best-seller, chances are good that most people in town won't even connect you with it.
Lex
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