Over 40 And Single

[1960SingleBear]

Hi men! I'm a 54 year old gay man whose partner passed away 5 years ago and has been single and lonely ever since. It's so hard to meet guys it seems the older you get. I try to meet guys on-line and I go to a LGBT skating event every week but it just doesn't seem to happen. So many men either want one night stands or nothing at all. It would be nice to talk to and meet other men in similar situations and to hear how you deal with this. And ultimate even nicer to meet someone in person... But I'd even love to just have some friends on-line here to talk to when life is overwhelming and depression is becoming more and more commonplace. I'm a pretty fun loving guy and very well liked at work - this just doesn't transfer over into any type of dating life?

[Lexington]

Welcome to GS!

I guess it's not surprising that there's more guys out there interested in getting their rocks off than in getting their relationship on - plus it's far easier to find a Mr Right Now than a Mr Right. But at the same time, it's a complaint I hear often enough that I start wondering why all these "nobody is interested in a relationship" people can't form their own group and start dating.

Lex

[meridannight]

guys need sex. relationship is something else. relationship needs all kinds of compatibility and knowing each other. it's insane to expect that from a guy you barely/don't know. meanwhile, sex is an amazing way to actually get to know a guy. i don't understand why this is such a problem for some guys.

[Lexington]

Some people like to get to know a guy before having sex with them. Some people like to have sex with a guy before getting to know them. Different strokes and all that.

Lex

[Jerry]

Relationship sounds so serious and therefore a bit scary. Why not talking e.g. about friendship? That gives the impression, that one is looking more than just sex.
But you are being honest about your feelings, that´s very important. I´m sure you´ll find somebody to share your life with, but don´t push it too hard with that your request of starting a relationship at once.

Good luck from overseas

[Cuddly]

Welcome to gayspeak.

There are type specific dating sites, that you may or may not have more luck with.
Do you skate?

[Rareboy]

It is the challenge of being an over 50 homo....sorry to hear that you lost your partner 5 years ago.....after a committed relationship with a lot of emotional investment, it can be hard to just settle for a one night stand.

But one of those one night stands might just turn out to be someone also looking for stability and love and a deeper friendship.

Be open to all experiences and keep yourself out there. At the very least, you might make some valuable connections and acquaintances.

Welcome!!!

[TwisttheLeaf]

The sad part about depression (at least -clinical- depression) is that once you've had it, you have a greater chance of experiencing it again. And with each subsequent experience of it, the chance of a repeat becomes higher.

I would suggest doing everything you can to help lift yourself out of those depressions, yeah? Because if they get to a clinical point, it could end up as something uncontrollable and chronic.

As for the dating scene.... I get it yeah? It can be frustrating, especially if you're looking for more than just hook ups. I wish you good luck with it yeah?

Welcome to GS.

[jimcrackcorn]

I'll give you my man,,, shoot,, I'll even pay you to take him off my hands!!!! He's grumpy, set-in-his-ways, likes to be the boss of everything,,, but very handsome for his age (79)... I got him potty trained last year (finally) and am still working on getting him to wash his hands after working on the yard equipment.

Just kidding....

Welcome to GS.

[CellarDweller]

welcome to the forum