Disrespectful Cousin

[abcd1234]

I would like your advice on a certain issue. I have a cousin who is a real bitch.She would come to see her mother every week for dinner and they would stay and have a coffee Klatch with us.Well anyway after her mother died 3 years ago she asked my mom if we were still gonna have the klatch.So my mother being a wonderful person said yes.So she and her husband would come.Now this bitch disrespected my mother on a couple of occasions.Once my mother asked a simple question about why she suggested that they show this risqué movie at the library and then put my name on the paper as if I suggested it and only put her initial.She turned to my mother and said "Screw You" Then when my mother called her on it she said it again.Now I would never talk to one of my aunts that way.Also this woman's husband doesn't have the balls to stand up to her.On another occasion my mother asked her a simple innocent question and she said"None of your business"

So yesterday made one year that my mother passed away.I miss her so much.Now that bitch of a cousin didn't get out of the car at the cemetery and she sent her husband out because she told my other cousin that it was too cold.She still wanted to continue the coffee klatches with me and my other cousin because she needed a place to flop.She said I shouldn't be alone and she's full of shit.She acted like she didn't miss my mom.So I got involved with other activities and made new friends and stopped having the coffee klatch.She also would never do any favors for me if I needed one after all the times me and my mom opened our home to her.She even had the audacity ,on my parents 50th anniversary to take the remaining half of sheet cake that was left over when it should have went to my parents.

Well anyway on the anniversary of my mother's passing yesterday I went on Facebook and thanked everyone for their support and I also wrote about a certain individual without mentioning her name who was disrespectful and didn't get out of the car.I got several replies from family but they didn't comment on my sarcasm.One cousin called and asked me who it was and when I told her she told me that she doesn't like the bitch either. But surprisingly the bitch's daughter wrote something very nice about my mom,so I guess her mom didn't tell her that she was the culprit.So now I'm hoping this got back to the bitch to call her on her shit.She's not on Facebook but her husband and 2 kids are.I'm determined to settle the score.Unfortunately it's hard to do it face to face because she's such a narcissist that you can't reason with her.I hope the Facebook idea worked.I'm determined to make her know that not everybody is gonna take her shit.I have to honor my mom and call this bitch on her shit.I will not yield on this.If the Facebook thing don't work does anybody have any other ideas.? I would really appreciate it.Thanks.

[Rareboy]

You can't make this kind of stuff up.

Let. It. Go.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Sounds like drama to me.

Look, your mom is now dead. So you no longer have to worry about the cousin dissing your mom to her face anymore. Well not on this earthly plane.

So let it go. Let her (the cousin) go as well. you do not have to continue coffee with her, don't have to see her except maybe thanksgiving and Christmas. Let it go.

All of it, the past, the present, the future - let it go.

There are things you can change, and things you can not change. you cannot change her. Sorry, you may wish it, and may desire it and might even waste the time and energy to change her, but in the end she isn't going to change until she wants to change.

[East]

My suggestion...forgive her and take the high road.....let it go....

Stress and anger and resentment can take a toll on your health and mental state and since we all have only a short time on this planet...why give so much of your energy to a situation that will not really matter in the long run...'

She is who she is...I wasted alot of my time on similar stuff in the past and my biggest regret is that I didn't forgive them and move on sooner than I did....

[CellarDweller]

It's been said that the best revenge is living well.

Taking family drama to Facebook and putting it out there for everyone to see is not living well.

It's time to find other uses for that energy, and leave the bitch to stew on her own.

[abcd1234]

I understand what you're saying but all I want is the satisfaction that I called her on her shit.I don't expect her to change and that's not my goal.But nobody ever called her on anything.Everyone tiptoed around her for years to keep peace in the family.But once I let her know that I think what she did sucked I could move on without looking back.Can't you understand that? I just need closure.

[trywait]

some people thrive on drama. self-absorbed people love it when people react to his/her "mind" games, i.e. shenanigans.

like what others have said, the best revenge is to live well and not give her the time of day. when she's ignored, that is YOUR best revenge because no matter how much she struts her feathers like a male peacock, it has no effect. when you demonstrated that she cannot affect you...essentially, u became the better person and rubbed it in her face.

"na, na, na, boo, boo." I am no longer affected by you because I'm too busy with my own life!

[MikeW]

I understand what you're saying but all I want is the satisfaction that I called her on her shit.I don't expect her to change and that's not my goal.But nobody ever called her on anything.Everyone tiptoed around her for years to keep peace in the family.But once I let her know that I think what she did sucked I could move on without looking back.Can't you understand that? I just need closure.

Well, so, why are you telling us about it? If you want to stay hooked into a dysfunctional not so merry go round and round with a narcissist, that's your right and privilege. But you've brought this tale to us… so what do you want from us?

[himself]

It can be hard to let go of anger / irritation, but just remember that it's against the law to run people down with your car or to burn their houses down. A lot of things which may seem pleasurable are probably illegal. The best thing you can do is write a vague post about her on Facebook, but try to make it obvious that she is the subject of your post without explicitly mentioning her. I'm not saying that that's what I would do, but "vaguebooking" seems to work for everyone else.

[LJay]

Let it go. If she is the person you say she is, she will burn out on her own. You do not need to have anything to do with her. Don't.