Thought I'd Just Share

[Cody]

Figured I'd share with you guys my coming out story. Not much to it really but here we go.

It pretty much starts with me in 1st grade up to 7th. This was the period in which a lot of experimentation happened. I didn't really at that time know what gay was until I hit 7th grade but hey info travels pretty slow when you've never had internet until then. Once I found out what gay meant I knew instantly then that's what I was.

Never really had to deal with the denial, it was what it was and I threw myself at it. Although there was a time I dated a girl after my realization, it didn't last more than a weekend and as soon as I was back to school the next day I was dumped like yesterday's trash (for Mr. Class President none the less).

The rest of the time through to the end of 8th grade I was pretty much preferred the proverbial "closet". That all changed when I decided to tell my mom. I never did it face to face (for fear of backlash and my lack of will) but I did write a letter to her and conveniently placed it on the tv. When she got home from work she read it and woke me up with nothing more than a grin on her face. My stomach just dropped while we went to the living room to talk about it. After a bit of discussion she said she'd known since I was four, which is funny considering I faintly remember her asking me about it in elementary a lot. That was the first stage.

The second stage came two years later when I'd meet my first boyfriend (and second love). After nabbing that guy (he was an angel) I told my best friend at the time. He grew paranoid about what people would think of us as friends but nothing came of it (he had to big a fear of being branded with the icky gay disease). Now on to the final act.

After that month of boyfriendedness I was broken up over him. I drove myself down a backwards street into alcoholism (for a whole year none the less. Oh can't forget the drugs to). Anyway, a few months later I got piss drunk and got on Facebook (not a good combo) posting a huge rant all the while slipping in that I liked to dance to the tune of a different drum. Thus stage 3 was complete.

Funny thing thinking back on it now. How far I've come and where I've been to get to who I am now. I did eventually kick my alcoholism and cut back significantly on the drugs. It turned out to be a read, I know, but hey, I wanted to tell it. So there you have it, my story. Hope you enjoyed.

P.S. - Everyone did take it well and I was never discriminated against like others were. Guess being a chameleon does have it's advantages. :biggrin:

[Rareboy]

Well that certainly sounds like it was quite a ride.

When I was about 4, I declared to my entire extended family one night that I was going to be a dress designer when I grew up. They should have known at that moment.

There is a picture of me from the balcony of the church reaching out to touch my Aunt's wedding dress train as she was walking down the aisle.

I also had a huge crush on my father's incredibly handsome best friend and my Uncle's best man at his wedding.

So somehow, I knew from the first that I had a male/male attraction...although I also had a stiffy for Elizabeth Taylor and Sophia Loren........

But until grade 7, I had no real sexual desire at all....so you certainly had a leg up on me. I didn't experiment or fantasize .....and I'm in awe of you coming out at the age of around 13.

But it also sounds as though you grew up way faster than any kid should....a broken heart at 15 shouldn't have led to alcohol and drug abuse....what the hell were you thinking? This is the kind of thing that only someone who was planning on writing a book or play or song should have gone through.

Anyway. I'm so glad to hear that you have dumped the booze and would hope that your drug use is limited to an occasional buzz from some pot...the problem with drugs is that you still feel like shit...but you've just temporarily blocked it out.

You sound like you are getting your shit sorted out and I hope that you have the joy of meeting your lifelong love and partner like I finally did.

Until then, play hard but play safe,

[East]

Great story Cody! I love it when someone just lets it all out and be damned with the consequences...I always hope there will be more of "those people" in the world...so I particularly appreciate your story...

I have some similarities....I never really had any discrimination. My parents hated religion and my grandmother's lifelong best friends since the 1920s-30s were a lesbian couple so I never got any shit for being gay....(though I had other problems with my parents...that just wasn't one of them)

The way I came out...I was hanging out with this group of lesbian flower child earth mother oats and honey goddess type of girls ...they were all ultra feminine and soft but kinda tough and hardcore in an activist kinda way and after hanging out with them they kinda woke me up to alot of things and one morning when I was getting dressed for school it occurred to me out of the blue that I was gay ...and I was happy about it......and I went right out to the breakfast table with my whole family and announced it...and I was done with it. I was kinda hoping it would piss them off actually but it didn't. The only thing that was ever in my closet was clothes...

Since then and throughout my life I have maintained my sexuality is a non issue and so I rarely tell anyone "I am gay"...instead I introduce them to my boyfriend as they would introduce me to their mate in normal conversation and I don't even care what they think or if they like it or not. As a result..I have had very little ...almost none...discrimination on a personal level. I never really have "that talk" with people because I don't want to sit down with a straight person and have them tell me about what it is like to be straight...I don't care LOL...so I assume they don't want to hear that drivel from me either....

I did the drinking and drugs thing and I used to have a mouth on me (still do but I have alot of restraint now)..didn't used to have much of a filter either..so I was as surprised as everyone else what came out of my mouth...but in my defense it was at least what I was actually thinking and feeling so I wasn't phony...

I loved your three stages....and I love how you are in touch with your feelings and own your experiences...both are good traits to have in life....alot of people never learn to do either so you are ahead of the game already Cody...and I applaud you...

Thanks for sharing your experiences

[MikeW]

Figured I'd share with you guys my coming out story. ...

How is it I missed this when you posted it yesterday? Eh… well…

Hey, thanks for the informative post. Wow, you've lived more in the first 18 or so years of your life than I did in my first 30! :eek:

I'm kind of joking and not, I don't know. Lets just say my life didn't get *that* complicated until I was in my 20s. So, I guess [MENTION=21495]Rareboy[/MENTION] is right, you've been growing up kinda fast.

Well, I'm glad you're here among us hanging out when you have time. Def glad you've kicked the alcohol thing. GFY!

[Cody]

How is it I missed this when you posted it yesterday? Eh… well…

Hey, thanks for the informative post. Wow, you've lived more in the first 18 or so years of your life than I did in my first 30! :eek:

I'm kind of joking and not, I don't know. Lets just say my life didn't get *that* complicated until I was in my 20s. So, I guess [MENTION=21495]Rareboy[/MENTION] is right, you've been growing up kinda fast.

Well, I'm glad you're here among us hanging out when you have time. Def glad you've kicked the alcohol thing. GFY!

I guess it's pretty easy to miss posts from time to time. Oh, well. Better late than never. :biggrin:

Well, it goes different for everyone. Don't really know for sure how much it is growing up as it is evolving. Early pass on that one there I guess.

Thanks! mile:

Great story Cody! I love it when someone just lets it all out and be damned with the consequences...I always hope there will be more of "those people" in the world...so I particularly appreciate your story...

I have some similarities....I never really had any discrimination. My parents hated religion and my grandmother's lifelong best friends since the 1920s-30s were a lesbian couple so I never got any shit for being gay....(though I had other problems with my parents...that just wasn't one of them)

The way I came out...I was hanging out with this group of lesbian flower child earth mother oats and honey goddess type of girls ...they were all ultra feminine and soft but kinda tough and hardcore in an activist kinda way and after hanging out with them they kinda woke me up to alot of things and one morning when I was getting dressed for school it occurred to me out of the blue that I was gay ...and I was happy about it......and I went right out to the breakfast table with my whole family and announced it...and I was done with it. I was kinda hoping it would piss them off actually but it didn't. The only thing that was ever in my closet was clothes...

Since then and throughout my life I have maintained my sexuality is a non issue and so I rarely tell anyone "I am gay"...instead I introduce them to my boyfriend as they would introduce me to their mate in normal conversation and I don't even care what they think or if they like it or not. As a result..I have had very little ...almost none...discrimination on a personal level. I never really have "that talk" with people because I don't want to sit down with a straight person and have them tell me about what it is like to be straight...I don't care LOL...so I assume they don't want to hear that drivel from me either....

I did the drinking and drugs thing and I used to have a mouth on me (still do but I have alot of restraint now)..didn't used to have much of a filter either..so I was as surprised as everyone else what came out of my mouth...but in my defense it was at least what I was actually thinking and feeling so I wasn't phony...

I loved your three stages....and I love how you are in touch with your feelings and own your experiences...both are good traits to have in life....alot of people never learn to do either so you are ahead of the game already Cody...and I applaud you...

Thanks for sharing your experiences

I hope more people will be like that to.

Sounds like you've had a pretty exciting life thus far. Very interesting.

Yeah, I've always been introspective.

Thanks for sharing yours as well. mile:

Well that certainly sounds like it was quite a ride.

When I was about 4, I declared to my entire extended family one night that I was going to be a dress designer when I grew up. They should have known at that moment.

There is a picture of me from the balcony of the church reaching out to touch my Aunt's wedding dress train as she was walking down the aisle.

I also had a huge crush on my father's incredibly handsome best friend and my Uncle's best man at his wedding.

So somehow, I knew from the first that I had a male/male attraction...although I also had a stiffy for Elizabeth Taylor and Sophia Loren........

But until grade 7, I had no real sexual desire at all....so you certainly had a leg up on me. I didn't experiment or fantasize .....and I'm in awe of you coming out at the age of around 13.

But it also sounds as though you grew up way faster than any kid should....a broken heart at 15 shouldn't have led to alcohol and drug abuse....what the hell were you thinking? This is the kind of thing that only someone who was planning on writing a book or play or song should have gone through.

Anyway. I'm so glad to hear that you have dumped the booze and would hope that your drug use is limited to an occasional buzz from some pot...the problem with drugs is that you still feel like shit...but you've just temporarily blocked it out.

You sound like you are getting your shit sorted out and I hope that you have the joy of meeting your lifelong love and partner like I finally did.

Until then, play hard but play safe,

Oh, it was.

Yeah, no kidding.

I bet that was a picturesque moment.

Guess I did get a leg up in the game there. It was my first strong love. It hurt, I didn't want to hurt so I drowned out the pain unhealthily. I've since learned that's definitely not the way to do it.

Yep alcohol is done and it is only the occasional puff here and there.

I have been and thanks.

Same goes for you. :biggrin:

[Hardheaded1]

I know that coming out was the theme, but my mind is boggled by the drama that came before age 18.

It just seems incredible that life came and went with lovers, booze, drugs, and whatnot at that age. It doesn't seem like any of those things should be a part of childhood or early adolescence. When I was that age, where I lived, those were the exception, and kinda part of kids in the fast lane. I guess the lane is there for a reason.

I'm no psychologist, but you might want to look into the question of whether you are maybe addicted to drama in general. Not saying that as a slam, only that your path seems fraught with excitement of the unhealthy kind.

[Cody]

I know that coming out was the theme, but my mind is boggled by the drama that came before age 18.

It just seems incredible that life came and went with lovers, booze, drugs, and whatnot at that age. It doesn't seem like any of those things should be a part of childhood or early adolescence. When I was that age, where I lived, those were the exception, and kinda part of kids in the fast lane. I guess the lane is there for a reason.

I'm no psychologist, but you might want to look into the question of whether you are maybe addicted to drama in general. Not saying that as a slam, only that your path seems fraught with excitement of the unhealthy kind.

It's all ok now. I've grown as a person and have realized quite a bit about how to handle things. Truth be told, I hate drama and actively avoid it. I guess you could say I created a lot of inner drama, but know how to cope with a lot of it.

[ShiftyNJ]

Me either I was so sheltered until I was in college. Glad you came out of it okay.

[LJay]

It happens, Hardheaded. I was seeing this sequence even back in the 60's when I was working with youth a lot. The lives of those under 18 these days are increasingly complicated and often cluttered with a staggering barrage of conflicting influences. It is a real mine field.