New and Clueless...

[Pyromancer]

My name is Alex and I'm 24. I've been looking at different sites and this one seems like people talk and help each other instead of just hookup. Though I'm not sure what how big my dick is has to do with anything, but go with the flow, right? Not sure if Curious is the best label here, like I said, Clueless might be better.

I've always kind of...noticed...men, but also always ignored/repressed/denied. But a couple weeks ago I met a guy. It was like getting kicked in the head, stomach and balls, though getting kicked in the balls doesn't usually get me hard. I can't describe him without sounding like a Hallmark Channel Drama Queen.

I guess I've been acting like a teenager/stalker around him. I seem to amuse him. He doesn't deny being attracted to me, but he says he's not about to become some straight boy's secret experiment and/or dirty little secret. But it isn't like that. It's weird but instead of wanting to hide it, it would be amazing to be with him openly. And he brings being out to a whole new level lol.

He says it's infatuation, lust and curiosity and I can't deny any of that. I'm not a big fan of love at first sight or instant relationships. But I've managed to talk to him every day since we met, and I like him. He's the kind of a guy I want as a friend as well as anything else. And twice when I worked late and hadn't called him, he called me. Mostly just to give me shit about one thing or another.. Kind of weird, and I keep wanting to think it means something, but yeah...wishful thinking So...IDK...

[Camfer]

Sounds fun. Keep engaging with him. Eventually you will know what it all means.

[East]

Hey Alex! Welcome to GS

Sounds like you are having fun and discovering "stuff"...and so my advice...let it unfold. Challenge yourself along the way. Everything in life can be a learning experience..so take advantage of it.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I was so far in the closet I thought I was naturally celibate. Women were of no interest, but never actually contemplated men as an option. Until Robert entered my life.

Then suddenly it just 'clicked' who and what I was and it took about 6 months for me to resolve doubts and come out.

The difference here is that your potential first lover is not wholly into this and has some very serious doubts about what it is you really want. Robert pretty much knew my soul at first glance, so there was no wondering if my attraction to him was merely a straight boy looking for fun.

I have known others in a similar situation. While rather rare in the scene there are guys who were not all that into other guys until suddenly the right guy came along and it all just clicked.

Seems to me that you are in that group.

What you need to do is express to this guy that this isn't just about sex - this about you wanting to be friends as well.

As for coming out, be realistic about it. If there are people who you don't want to come out to or would be highly uneasy doing it alone, you need to tell this potential BF about that - perhaps ask him to be a safety net and be there for you when you do come out.

In the end it takes a heap of communication and honesty to relay what one really feels.

Sadly you are going up against a well known 'straight boy does gay trick' phenomenon where the gay guy ends up being blamed or some other crap because the straight boy can't own up to their own behaviors. This is why most gay guys don't do 'curious' and 'straight' guys. Too much work, to great a potential for misery and drama.

[Pyromancer]

I was so far in the closet I thought I was naturally celibate. Women were of no interest, but never actually contemplated men as an option. Until Robert entered my life.

Then suddenly it just 'clicked' who and what I was and it took about 6 months for me to resolve doubts and come out.

The difference here is that your potential first lover is not wholly into this and has some very serious doubts about what it is you really want. Robert pretty much knew my soul at first glance, so there was no wondering if my attraction to him was merely a straight boy looking for fun.

I have known others in a similar situation. While rather rare in the scene there are guys who were not all that into other guys until suddenly the right guy came along and it all just clicked.

Seems to me that you are in that group.

What you need to do is express to this guy that this isn't just about sex - this about you wanting to be friends as well.

As for coming out, be realistic about it. If there are people who you don't want to come out to or would be highly uneasy doing it alone, you need to tell this potential BF about that - perhaps ask him to be a safety net and be there for you when you do come out.

In the end it takes a heap of communication and honesty to relay what one really feels.

Sadly you are going up against a well known 'straight boy does gay trick' phenomenon where the gay guy ends up being blamed or some other crap because the straight boy can't own up to their own behaviors. This is why most gay guys don't do 'curious' and 'straight' guys. Too much work, to great a potential for misery and drama.

Thanks for taking the time to lay it out for me like this. I get where he's coming from but it's so hard to talk to him about it because he's always in my face about something. He keeps pushing me, like he's waiting for me to freak out. He does shit like agreeing to go out to eat "strictly as platonic acquaintances" (I swear to God, he actually says stuff like that) and tells me don't even think about sex and then gets all snarky because I didn't try to hold his hand or kiss him. Because that obviously means I'm in the closet. He drives me nuts but it's kind of adorable...

As for coming out, IDK, what you said about not noticing or suppressing noticing guys until the right guy comes along makes me feel better because so far I haven't felt any particular stirrings for anyone else and that confused me. But I can't think of anyone I'd be afraid or embarrassed to tell. I think most everyone already has a suspicion, I've been told I'm pretty obvious lol...

[JackTX]

Welcome, Alex

[Virge]

The thing I like in the OP is that Pie Romancer is being challenged, tested, teased and allured. That' got to be a good feeling!

THAT is a big turn on in my relationship. My guy challenges, tests, teases and allures me like it's his hobby or something. He knows how to push every button I have to keep me psychologically in a state of a hormonally overdosing rapist.... for hours at a time.

[Rareboy]

Jump his bone.

[Pyromancer]

Jump his bone.

Did you mean "jump his boner"? That's the plan...

[non273]

Thanks for your welcoming! Hope its sorted out now.