OMG!!! I'm OUT!!!

[JCasey]

Unlike my early predictions, this is NOT going slowly for me. Have you ever tried to re-package a tube of biscuit dough???

So, I took the easy route with some people. I came out to the LGB people in my life. - no sweat.
Then I started with close friends who have other gay people in their lives - again, no sweat.
Then came the decision to come out to mom, a recently widowed woman in her 80s who have always come off as being disapproving of "people like that". This was more of a challenge. However, I used a discussion we had earlier to lead in.

We had been discussing the fact that I would live in her house after she passed away. She mentioned that doing so would be up to me. She then made reference to me living there with a girlfriend. I wasn't expecting it, so the words "or boyfriend" stuck in my throat. She went on to another topic and the moment was lost. However, I returned later tat night and referenced her comment. It was a "you know how you mentioned..." kind of ice breaker. I then told her that I was not with anyone, and didn't have plans to be with anyone in the near future. However, If I were with someone, it would most likely not be a woman. "So, you're gay" she replied, to which I said yes. She expressed that she had no problem with it. I referenced that It was the way I was born, but she believes that we are a product of life experiences. Regardless of her beliefs, I am just glad she is accepting.

My daughter is 17, but has mild Autism. I emailed her mother to let her know that I am attracted to men. Now, not being together for 15 years, this could have gone any one of a number of ways. However, her response was essentially that she "knew" I was gay for the past 13 years.

So, on Facebook I PMed a number of people. Only one was upset that I didn't do it in person. I then created a distribution list of those friends I was willing to come out to. Note that most of my Facebook "Friends" would be considered real life acquaintances by any standard. So, I posted to them, and add others as time goes on.

On another Facebook account I have my biological family. As I have only just met them, I was subtle; changing my "interested in" from blank to "men". I will be calling my biological mother tonight.

[Dan1980]

Congratulations on coming out.

[JCasey]

So, yesterday I had a discussion with a good friend (whom I would like to be a MUCH better friend ;-) ). When I told him, he stood up and gave me a hug (which I really enjoyed, he is taller than me and solid). He was very accepting and supportive. He then asked me about how I went about looking for people to date. I expressed my feelings about Grindr, the club scene, and hook-ups and told him that at my age, unless I wan t to be someone's daddy, the selection was slim, and there was nobody I really could see myself with. I then jokingly told him that if he was inclined to switch teams, my problems could be solved. He graciously asserted his heterosexuality (though I have questioned it for years). I told him that I respect his sexual orientation, but that if things change down the line, I would be there. Luckily, we have a good enough friendship that we can continue as friends despite this conversation. I firmly believe that all relationships should start out as friendships.

[WillRugby]

Awesome that you came out.. If it was anything like my experience, It's the most relieving thing you can ever do - You seem to be happy with the outcome to how your friends and family reacted to it.
I know that telling my mum was the hardest person to tell - but they are the ones that love you most and Im sure she will be supportive of you

[princealbertofb]

So, yesterday I had a discussion with a good friend (whom I would like to be a MUCH better friend ;-) ). When I told him, he stood up and gave me a hug (which I really enjoyed, he is taller than me and solid). He was very accepting and supportive. He then asked me about how I went about looking for people to date. I expressed my feelings about Grindr, the club scene, and hook-ups and told him that at my age, unless I wan t to be someone's daddy, the selection was slim, and there was nobody I really could see myself with. I then jokingly told him that if he was inclined to switch teams, my problems could be solved. He graciously asserted his heterosexuality (though I have questioned it for years). I told him that I respect his sexual orientation, but that if things change down the line, I would be there. Luckily, we have a good enough friendship that we can continue as friends despite this conversation. I firmly believe that all relationships should start out as friendships.

[MENTION=22277]JCasey[/MENTION], heartwarming, nice, fuzzy feeling after reading your story. Now you've really got to start seriously looking so you have someone to introduce your wonderful friend to.

[princealbertofb]

Awesome that you came out.. If it was anything like my experience, It's the most relieving thing you can ever do - You seem to be happy with the outcome to how your friends and family reacted to it.
I know that telling my mum was the hardest person to tell - but they are the ones that love you most and Im sure she will be supportive of you

I had that experience too, but I realised that she only wanted me to be happy.... I cried a lot writing that coming out letter. Circumstances were a bit complicated. How did it go with your (different generation) mum, [MENTION=22531]WillRugby[/MENTION]?

[princealbertofb]

Unlike my early predictions, this is NOT going slowly for me. Have you ever tried to re-package a tube of biscuit dough???

So, I took the easy route with some people. I came out to the LGB people in my life. - no sweat.
Then I started with close friends who have other gay people in their lives - again, no sweat.
Then came the decision to come out to mom, a recently widowed woman in her 80s who have always come off as being disapproving of "people like that". This was more of a challenge. However, I used a discussion we had earlier to lead in.

We had been discussing the fact that I would live in her house after she passed away. She mentioned that doing so would be up to me. She then made reference to me living there with a girlfriend. I wasn't expecting it, so the words "or boyfriend" stuck in my throat. She went on to another topic and the moment was lost. However, I returned later tat night and referenced her comment. It was a "you know how you mentioned..." kind of ice breaker. I then told her that I was not with anyone, and didn't have plans to be with anyone in the near future. However, If I were with someone, it would most likely not be a woman. "So, you're gay" she replied, to which I said yes. She expressed that she had no problem with it. I referenced that It was the way I was born, but she believes that we are a product of life experiences. Regardless of her beliefs, I am just glad she is accepting.

My daughter is 17, but has mild Autism. I emailed her mother to let her know that I am attracted to men. Now, not being together for 15 years, this could have gone any one of a number of ways. However, her response was essentially that she "knew" I was gay for the past 13 years.

So, on Facebook I PMed a number of people. Only one was upset that I didn't do it in person. I then created a distribution list of those friends I was willing to come out to. Note that most of my Facebook "Friends" would be considered real life acquaintances by any standard. So, I posted to them, and add others as time goes on.

On another Facebook account I have my biological family. As I have only just met them, I was subtle; changing my "interested in" from blank to "men". I will be calling my biological mother tonight.

So, if I understand you well, [MENTION=22277]JCasey[/MENTION], you have two mothers to come out to? Your adoptive mother and the real one?

[princealbertofb]

I forgot to say CONGRATULATIONS, [MENTION=22277]JCasey[/MENTION].!!!!

[JCasey]

So, if I understand you well, [MENTION=22277]JCasey[/MENTION], you have two mothers to come out to? Your adoptive mother and the real one?

Yes, And I have done so with both.

[JCasey]

[MENTION=22277]JCasey[/MENTION], heartwarming, nice, fuzzy feeling after reading your story. Now you've really got to start seriously looking so you have someone to introduce your wonderful friend to.

Well, I am not overly anxious to get involved with anyone right away. I would rather build a relationship on a good solid foundation (friendship). He has a "girlfriend" but neither of them identify their relationship as such on Facebook, so it is a possible beard situation. He didn't expect a masculine guy like me to be gay, so perhaps I changed his perception of what it means to be gay. I know that had I perceived that being gay meant being a flaming femme, I would have stayed in the closet. I still hope that he re-evaluates things and perhaps discovers something about himself that has remained hidden. I have a strong feeling that he has it in him. I have known him since he was 16, and I have always felt that about him.