New Co-Worker Possibly Someone I Dated Years Ago

[Anonymous]

This isn't so much a "need advice" because I think I have made up my mind to do nothing, but I'm curious what others would do. I'm only making it anonymous out of the very unlikely chance that someone would read it and figure out where/who I'm talking about. Who I am is kind of irrelevant to the story anyway.

Someone started working on my floor, in another department last year. A lot nicer than most of the people in that group. Recently we were assigned to work on something together, and thus spend more time in conversation (pretty much always on the phone, not in person).

But I was thinking about his name, and why it sounded so familiar. I did a little digging and I am about 90% sure we went out a few times about 20 years ago, when we were both in our 20s. Now I feel like an idiot because I not only didn't recognize him (20 years is a long time), but also called him by the wrong first name a few times when we first met. I got it in my head that he was named something else, which he was good-natured about but if he remembered me, he must have thought i was an ass.

It did not work out between me and the guy I think he is, because he was extremely closeted, and told me if I was ever going to meet his family I would have to be able to recite a whole back story he invented about how we met, etc. I wasn't really comfortable with that, and we parted ways on a friendly enough basis.

Where we work is not super progressive so there is no way I'd confront him about it, in case I am wrong (although five minutes of online sleuthing indicates almost beyond a doubt that its the same person). I interested in any kind of rekindling, and I think he might be married to a woman, so maybe guys were an experiment he has left behind. Thus I am probably going to leave this in the past unless he decides to say something to me about it, but it made the week interesting anyway.

If you were in this position, would you say anything?

[Iceblink]

You've made the right choice to not say anything. Just leave it in the past. Not everything in the world needs to be discussed. There are a lot of times when the best choice is to not talk about something.

[Lycanthropist]

Let sleeping dogs lie.

[LJay]

Leave it be. Find something else to worry about.

[CellarDweller]

there is nothing wrong with saying nothing about this matter.

[MikeW]

Nah, you should definitely wait till there's several of you in the men's room and say sumpn like, "Hey aren't you that dude I fucked around with, like, 20 years ago or something? I thought your dick looked familiar…."

[Albie]

I agree with everyone else. I wouldn't say anything.

[TwisttheLeaf]

1) He used to be extremely closeted.

2) He's now married to a woman.

So.... if it was an experimentation time in his life, it's in his past and he didn't/doesn't want anyone to know. If he's actually bi/gay, it's also pretty clear he doesn't want anyone to know.

Under those conditions listed above? I would say the fact you didn't recognize him (and even accidentally called him by the wrong name a few times) won't make you look like an ass because he's too damned --relieved-- you don't recognize him to think about it in any other light than through the goggles of relief.

Either way, and any way you look at it? That's just a shitload of drama if you don't leave it be.

So.... leave it alone, yeah?

[Rareboy]

If he doesn't raise it, why should you?

It does make me laugh though....because years ago, I hit the bath house near Maple Leaf Gardens one night and in the dark had an amazing encounter with a guy who was pretty talkative, particularly about my tight ass. I remembered his hands because they were rough and he had a ring that felt really good when he put his fingers in to loosen me up........We fucked for about 3 hours until he had to leave.

About a year later, I met him in the daylight.....he'd ended up as a project manager for the contractor on a job I was working on. But he didn't recognize me, because I was now wearing glasses...and the lights were on and he wasn't fucking me. But I recognized him. As soon as we shook hands and he spoke. For the next 8 months, I would chub up every time he came into the room. But I never mentioned anything.

By that time I was partnered. And I discovered he was married and had a kid. Silence is best.

[ceez]

Our gay agenda is working, seducing straight boys we can black mail later for world dominance