I've been in conflict with changes.
03-02-2015, 05:23 AM
It's pretty sure I'm not going to be coming to Gayspeak regularly anymore. It's been something I've been fighting with for a couple of months. It's been a journey within myself to understand why this came about inside me.
At first I thought it was that Gayspeak was moving slower. But then it started in each of the other forums I'm in. It was like they all just started slowing down to the point they were irritating for me. I know it began to show in my comments to others. I started being snarky, cynical and bored. More than once I've complained about new posts by new members being just repeats of repeats of repeats of repeats. Honest guys, that's not the "me" that I know.
Then yesterday something happened that sent me into some deep introspection. What are the chances that everyone (gay and straight) in the three forums could all get boring and slow down at the same time? I's say the chances are less than one in a trillion.
What are the chances that it's just about me going through transitions? hahahaha! Ohhh I'd say that's a 100 to 1. That's what all this is about. I'm changing. Today's March 1st and I can look back to January 1st -- just sixty days and see how much I've changed without realizing it until yesterday and today.
So when I wake up in the morning I'm getting up with the attitude in line above my new signature line. I'm throwing myself full force into the transitions, moving on and stepping into things leading in new directions.
When I joined Gayspeak in June 2014 I was just a few days out of the hospital after my final hand surgery, on an enormous emotional high from setting a date for a marriage and honestly pretty damned lonely since my man had to go home to December. I had lots to give to others at that time and tried to do that. Things changed when he arrived. I'm not lonely anymore. But there's more to it than that.
Together he and I are transitioning towards things we have always talked about doing as a team. I talked about some of them in here. They're starting now. It's not that I'm leaving Gayspeak for any dissatisfaction here. It's all about moving ahead to "what's next."
There's 82 days until I finally graduate and slow down on my traveling nearly every week for money. There's 133 days until we get married, and -- believe it or not -- this next week I'll be taking on a whole new 'project' doing something that will be the first step towards the things my guy and I have talked about and planned for over two years of doing together. Also I've already gotten involved in a political campaign for a guy we're going to get elected on zero campaign funds -- just because he's that damned honest. I have a lot to do to get ready for spring and summer, the wedding and whatever the hell comes after a wedding. hahahahaha!
I just need to let some of you guys know. This isn't adios. It's just see ya when I see ya.
Loves to all my buds,
Virge
![[Image: 1ed9b0bdee30ea746113b086d7c001a7_zpstt4mhwfr.jpg]](http://i1277.photobucket.com/albums/y487/vsteenberg87/hahahahahas/1ed9b0bdee30ea746113b086d7c001a7_zpstt4mhwfr.jpg)
[COLOR="Blue"]It's all a matter of how you look at things that determines everything.
[/COLOR]
At first I thought it was that Gayspeak was moving slower. But then it started in each of the other forums I'm in. It was like they all just started slowing down to the point they were irritating for me. I know it began to show in my comments to others. I started being snarky, cynical and bored. More than once I've complained about new posts by new members being just repeats of repeats of repeats of repeats. Honest guys, that's not the "me" that I know.
Then yesterday something happened that sent me into some deep introspection. What are the chances that everyone (gay and straight) in the three forums could all get boring and slow down at the same time? I's say the chances are less than one in a trillion.
What are the chances that it's just about me going through transitions? hahahaha! Ohhh I'd say that's a 100 to 1. That's what all this is about. I'm changing. Today's March 1st and I can look back to January 1st -- just sixty days and see how much I've changed without realizing it until yesterday and today.
So when I wake up in the morning I'm getting up with the attitude in line above my new signature line. I'm throwing myself full force into the transitions, moving on and stepping into things leading in new directions.
When I joined Gayspeak in June 2014 I was just a few days out of the hospital after my final hand surgery, on an enormous emotional high from setting a date for a marriage and honestly pretty damned lonely since my man had to go home to December. I had lots to give to others at that time and tried to do that. Things changed when he arrived. I'm not lonely anymore. But there's more to it than that.
Together he and I are transitioning towards things we have always talked about doing as a team. I talked about some of them in here. They're starting now. It's not that I'm leaving Gayspeak for any dissatisfaction here. It's all about moving ahead to "what's next."
There's 82 days until I finally graduate and slow down on my traveling nearly every week for money. There's 133 days until we get married, and -- believe it or not -- this next week I'll be taking on a whole new 'project' doing something that will be the first step towards the things my guy and I have talked about and planned for over two years of doing together. Also I've already gotten involved in a political campaign for a guy we're going to get elected on zero campaign funds -- just because he's that damned honest. I have a lot to do to get ready for spring and summer, the wedding and whatever the hell comes after a wedding. hahahahaha!
I just need to let some of you guys know. This isn't adios. It's just see ya when I see ya.
Loves to all my buds,
Virge
[COLOR="Blue"]It's all a matter of how you look at things that determines everything.
[/COLOR]
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Virgo
Capricorn
