Your thoughts (and mine) about gay dating apps

[Barefoot]

Wondering what you all think about gay dating apps. I have a bunch of them, and while finding plenty of guys to chat with (some good and some not so good) I haven't had any success. I've read that people don't as a rule. Many on the apps mention there being too many fake profiles and I've run into quite a few myself. Lots of spammers looking to sell access to videos (just had one today) AND, last night I reported an underage guy, as best as I could anyway, although I couldn't remember his user name but I sent as many details as I could about him. He didn't have his age listed on his profile so I asked him how old he was or I wouldn't have known. Moments after he told me his age he completely vanished from the app with no trace of him ever being there, which is why I couldn't give a complete report on him. I didn't think it was possible not to have a guys age in his profile. I thought the app wouldn't let a user submit a profile with details like age missing, but since then I've noticed more like that. Maybe he lied on his initial application and then hid his age, Idk. Anyway it makes me wonder... I've only recently been active in using these apps so I didn't expect such things. Today some cute guy came on and contacted me. Since I couldn't see his location, I asked him where he was. He said "a mile from you, I just moved in". Being gullible (I admit to it but I don't like it) I took his bait (lol at myself now). But when he sent me a link (to a video I assume) I knew what was up. He said it was a video of himself, so I decided to play him at his own game. I told him rather than watch a video of him, I'd rather see him do it in person. I said "you're only a mile from me (knowing he wasn't) so I'll just come over". When he persisted I asked him to tell me how to get to his place. Well it went on and on like that and after a while he stopped. Finally I said "I feel like a player playing the player". Then I blocked him lol. To be honest I don't have much faith in online dating. I still believe the only way in most cases is to meet someone in person spontaneously. For one thing, getting to "know" someone online sets up expectations (whether intended or not) that IMO are never accurate and that can cause disappointments to arise and put a damper on things before anything can really have a chance to get going. SO.. if anyone reading this is new to gay dating apps, keep this stuff in mind and expect it. I admit to being gullible, but maybe my experience will help someone. I will continue to use apps and sites, but I am becoming wiser now and with that, more careful.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I don't do apps for "dating" - I have heard enough horror stories from other people to not take this particular route. Yes sometimes I do learn from the mistakes of others.

[East]

I have been happily partnered for 29 years..but if I wasn't...a huge NO to dating apps....

As big of a slut as I once was...I do NOT want to see a photo of anyone's penis. I am cool with whatever package a man who I am attracted to has....AFTER I had a vibe/impression of him and decided I was sexually compatible with him. If he showed me his penis while we were talking it would be a turn off

Meeting people in my everyday life is very easy for me and I met sooooooooooooooo many men over the years in my day to day travels. I am friendly...approachable...and I will have a conversation with most people just because I am genuinely interested in so many different things and I like people in general so there is usually something in common....

My personality tends to attract people. My friends would insist it was all about looks...I disagreed.,,,,and my proof is that today..at 57...I STILL attract men and I don't even try or want to. It certainly isn't about my looks anymore...assuming it ever was LOL

Bottom line...I want to look in your eyes and see your body language and if I can't do that...it just isn't going to happen.

[Barefoot]

I agree with you on all points, but I'm in a very rural and isolated area, and it's winter here with 5' of snow on the ground and temps hovering near 0 deg. (F) most of the time. Until warmer days come I'm looking online, more or less just in case. I doubly agree with you about the dick pics, and in some of my profiles when that has happened too often I have said I don't want to see them. To me it's like this: We've all got one (hopefully) and I see NO POINT at all in seeing another one; they're all similar enough, and I appreciate a nice body and/or a cute/pretty face and hair a hell of a lot more, and in fact that's what I'm looking for, before I meet the guy and get to sample his personality. In fact receiving a dick pic turns me off totally and I consider it an insult.

[TwisttheLeaf]

In my experience, gay "dating" apps are for hook ups almost exclusively. Of course you sometimes get someone here and there looking for more, but on the whole? Hook ups.

There seems to be something about me that dissuades the types that you're outlining from approaching, yeah? I don't know what it is, but when I was single and exploring the apps in question, it was extremely rare to be approached by link-trolls, or by the underage.

Like [MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION], though, I preferred picking up my partners in person back then. I get a better sense of if someone is 'safe' to be alone with in person than I can online, and a better sense of what -they- are looking for.

[Albie]

I avoid the ones that are really known for hookups, such as Grindr, as that isn't what I am looking for.

I have used the more traditional dating sites for people posting that they are looking for relationships. Those guys have a tendency of assuming everyone is looking for sex only. Most of the time I try to start a conversation based on something they wrote in their profile, then they sometimes answer but eventually they stop responding.

I am hoping it is because of their own insecurities and not that I am ugly and uninteresting.......Now I'm gonna feel sorry for myself for the rest of the night.....

*pouts*

[Barefoot]

Same here. I just sent a message to a guy relating to something in his profile. He says he wants to make friends, but doesn't reply. Happens way too often; most of the time in fact. Makes me wonder why they're on there at all. Maybe they assume as you say that everyone is only after sex. That's a very warped way of thinking IMO if that's the case, thinking everyone's a pervert or a sex maniac. If I thought that was the case I wouldn't register for an account. Just waiting for warmer days so I can get out and off the apps and sites. Bleh! On a different note, I did sign up for meetup.com tonight and got the app also. Hoping to meet interesting people and found some groups that interest me. I have some background in electronics and there's a group related to that. Several other groups that interest me also.

[Double23]

It's up to you what you use them for, there are loads of guys looking for dates, that's how I met my first man. To me the apps are no different to pof etc. only that you get a few guys sending unsolicited explicit images.

[ShiftyNJ]

Same here. I just sent a message to a guy relating to something in his profile. He says he wants to make friends, but doesn't reply. Happens way too often; most of the time in fact. Makes me wonder why they're on there at all. Maybe they assume as you say that everyone is only after sex. That's a very warped way of thinking IMO if that's the case, thinking everyone's a pervert or a sex maniac. If I thought that was the case I wouldn't register for an account. Just waiting for warmer days so I can get out and off the apps and sites. Bleh! On a different note, I did sign up for meetup.com tonight and got the app also. Hoping to meet interesting people and found some groups that interest me. I have some background in electronics and there's a group related to that. Several other groups that interest me also.

I am very glad to have been off the hunt before these apps were a thing. The days of M4M chat rooms on AOL were at least a blend of people just looking to chat as well either physical or romantic stuff.

I think a guy is at his most attractive when he's doing something he enjoys so I think stuff like meetup groups are a much better way to meet people. And there is less freaking pressure.

[cestmoi77]

Depends on what you're looking for. In my experience "gay dating" when it comes to the apps invariably means shagging rather than actual dating (if your definition of "dating" is meeting someone for anything long term)....
If you're looking for the latter, I wouldn't bother with the apps, but that's just me - someone else suggested doing activities that you enjoy. The Meetup website is meant to be quite good.