First Everything...

[Nex]

I've had some mess in my life lately and I was a bit of a downer but I think it's finally getting better.

I'm about to move off to college in August and I am looking forward to moving away from the homophobic peers I am surrounded with currently.
I practically gave up ever wanting to tell them but just live my own life.

Anyway, I've never had any experience with anyone and I'm finally coming to terms with accepting myself for who I am.

I will move literally across the continent and I am really excited for my new school and the city I will be living at for the next couple years.

So, I was feeling a bit lonely lately so I signed up for an online dating site because I was desperate to talk to someone. After some creepy 50+ men sent me creepy messages I got bored of blocking people and I almost deleted my account.
Then however, I started chatting with this guy my age who lives in the city I will be moving to and he is super-sweet. At first we had like random texts but ever so often he would be all flirty and we made plans to hang out and try dating as soon as I move to his city in five months.


I'm a bit scared because I have never done this whole flirting thing before and I'd rather find someone sincere than a short-lived flirt and luckily he seems to feel alike.

So, now I am planning on heading over for a school-visit weekend next month and while I'll be there, I'd love to meet up with him. He told me couple times how much he'd like me to come over so I think he'd be up for that.
I haven't told him yet because I haven't finished my travel plans yet but I'd like to meet him so much.

I am really scared, though, because it would be my first time even just being near someone I like. I am so scared to tell him, though, because I am terrified I might embarrass myself.
He's literally the cutest boy ever and I told him so and he always says I should come over because he needs someone he likes to be near, so I think we might actually have a chance... it's just a feeling.

I need your help, guys.
How do you think should I approach this? I think I will go for it and take the chance to ask him to hang out while I am there because I don't want to wait any longer to meet him in person.
But would this be like a date or something?
Do you have any advice on how to act during a first date? I'm certain I'll be super-shy and nervous.

Do I tell him how cute he is?
And also, I read so many stories that finished a first date with a kiss! I have no idea how to approach this...



Anyway, I want to make the most of my time there but I also don't want to be creepy.
I have this gut feeling this is a friendship/relationship I don't want to lose, so I don't really know how to act to let him know that. I want him to be happy and I try not to think of the possibility he might fall for someone else until I move closer but I also want him to know how much he already means to me.


All thoughts are greatly appreciated.
Thank you so much on this!

[Nex]

Never mind!
He dumped me. Why would I even think someone could ever like me.
I can't cope with another broken heart, I'm never gonna open up ever again.

[Beaux]

Never mind!
He dumped me. Why would I even think someone could ever like me.
I can't cope with another broken heart, I'm never gonna open up ever again.

Ok. First of all, when you go on your college visit, pay attention to the college representitives and get as much out of the tour as possible. There will be PLEANTY of time for romance once you actually get to college.
Second, have you ever given much thought to the fact that while you were keeping to yourself in highschool, that all of your peers were dating? Well, by dating, your peers are basically having "practice-relationships" that will prepare them (hopfully) for real relationships later in life when they are more mature.
Third, that is what maturity means--having had practice/previous experience in life, and that is something that you (not unlike many, many gay men who gre up in a hetro-normative society) lack and need.
SO...as a gay man, you will have to gain emotional maturity by dating and gaining relationship experience. Luckily, that's what college is for! So cheer up! Your college experience will be some of the best years of your life, give yourself a chance to enjoy it.

~Beaux