Just My Luck

[ShiftyNJ]

The important thing for you to remember is that there is a good possibility that these guys' choice may well have nothing to do with you and it certainly doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.

When you think about how picky people (and gay guys in particular) can be, it's kind of a miracle that chemistry between two people happens as often as it does, let alone more often.

I agree with the others, though; that environment sounds stifling for other reasons, too. Can you make it a life goal to move somewhere more progressive, maybe not tomorrow but just something to plan for?

[East]

I think if I was single I would be looking for sex...not love...a hot fuck instead of a date....and it would be alot easier to find "love" because love can't be forced anyway...you click or you don't.

My ideal date would be a date with myself LOL...taking myself somewhere...used to love doing that...

[Lexington]

I think if I was single I would be looking for sex...not love...a hot fuck instead of a date....and it would be alot easier to find "love" because love can't be forced anyway...you click or you don't.

And that's what the apps really excel at. It's a lot easier to find somebody you can get the sheets sweaty and sticky with for an hour or two than it is somebody you can live with for several decades.

Lex

[princealbertofb]

And that's what the apps really excel at. It's a lot easier to find somebody you can get the sheets sweaty and sticky with for an hour or two than it is somebody you can live with for several decades.

Lex

Kind of depressing, though. No?

[East]

And that's what the apps really excel at. It's a lot easier to find somebody you can get the sheets sweaty and sticky with for an hour or two than it is somebody you can live with for several decades.

Lex

But...so many of the long time couples I know met each other after a hot night of meaningful anonymous sex.....

People looking for love often repeat things that are so untrue...

For instance.....

I dont go to bar...you never meet anyone there and everyone is shallow
(Bullshit. I met my partner of 29 years now in a bar...so did alot of the other couples I know who have been together even longer)

Guys that have sex with alot of different men are not the type of man who can commit
(Bullshit again...I had sex with alot of men...and I am quite happy and well adjusted and easily committed in a relationship...same with alot of the other guys I know)

Straight people used to be the only ones who beleived in fairy tales...now the dreadful disease is spreading to gay people as well...YIKES.

Equality does come with a price.

[princealbertofb]

Well, it used to be that people didn't think the Internet was a way to meet anyone, now everyone's doing it.... I met my partner on the Internet and we made it happen in Real Life...

[princealbertofb]

But maybe @elrprinciperojo, the red prince, does live in too small a place, where the pool is too restricted...

[Lexington]

Kind of depressing, though. No?

Not depressing at all, in my opinion. Unless you think everything should be available at a touch of a button.

People who complain about how hard it is to find somebody aren't wrong, necessarily, but at the same time, it's that sheer fact that good relationships are difficult to find (and maintain) that makes them so worthwhile, and so valuable. If you could get a decent boyfriend by pressing a button three times on your phone, we probably wouldn't give a rat's ass about them. Hell, feel free to treat your guy like dirt - you can get a new one in half an hour, right?

Lex

[ShiftyNJ]

Guys that have sex with alot of different men are not the type of man who can commit
(Bullshit again...I had sex with alot of men...and I am quite happy and well adjusted and easily committed in a relationship...same with alot of the other guys I know)

If anything I think the opposite is easier to believe... that someone who has been around the block is less likely to be curious about the grass across the fence.

[Lexington]

People looking for love often repeat things that are so untrue...

I know what you mean. It's a bit like...I don't know. Maybe like seeing somebody retire after thirty-some years at the same firm, and getting a gold watch and a retirement party...and thinking "I want that". So they go get a job at the same firm...and quit after a week, because they're still working in the mail room, and haven't gotten their gold watch yet.

Chances are - the guy who retired didn't take the job looking for the gold watch. He took the job because it fit his needs at the time. And then it ended up being a great fit, so he stuck with it. And he ended up staying with the firm for several decades.

If you're open to having NSA sex with guys, it IS a good way to meet them. As are bars, social clubs, and any number of venues. No, chances are, you won't get into a decades-long relationship with the first guy you meet. But that shouldn't be the mindset. It should be "I'm going to go to the bar/take this class/have sex with this guy, and enjoy myself. And if something comes of it, great. And if nothing does, that's fine - I still will have had a good time."

Lex