Just My Luck

[princealbertofb]

Not depressing at all, in my opinion. Unless you think everything should be available at a touch of a button.

People who complain about how hard it is to find somebody aren't wrong, necessarily, but at the same time, it's that sheer fact that good relationships are difficult to find (and maintain) that makes them so worthwhile, and so valuable. If you could get a decent boyfriend by pressing a button three times on your phone, we probably wouldn't give a rat's ass about them. Hell, feel free to treat your guy like dirt - you can get a new one in half an hour, right?

Lex

Yes, you're totally right, Lex... of course.

[LJay]

All of the posts that Mike refers to swim in the stream of "I can't find anyone who will stick with me after a first contact." Face it, you are being shopped. Today, I am going to the grocery stroe with nothing in particular in mind other than that I need to find something for dinner. I'll probably pick up the first convenient thing and have done with it. Tomorrow I may do the same thing, though there is a possibility that I may see something today that I want tomorrow also. Then the whole thing will repeats itself the next day. This is really very typical behavior amongst gay guys, and you, pork chop, must adjust.

Next time you get into this, try asking the guy if he would like to come to a potluck and meet some other guys. Provide the venue and some paper plates and see if there is a chance that a little conversation and and maybe a game of horseshoes could crack the ice. You might even slump on the couch and discuss dating in your town.

I dunno. It is not a new problem. You have to adjust if you want to stay where you are.

[elprinciperojo]

I don't doubt that Grindr or any other internet dating resources can potentially find one's match. I am being rather impatient, I suppose. This is really the first time in my life since Grindr has come around that I've actually been able to see almost the entire gay population of my current location, thus getting a taste of actually dating. In the past, what usually happened was someone would meet another guy here or there, maybe once a year -- yes, it's barren here -- and usually dated him, whether or not they were a real match.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Grinder and many others is not about relationships and dating as in movies, dinner, theater. They are what to my generation the back alleys and dark parks were - places to hook up with random guys for just sex without all of the commitment and love and 'yucky' stuff that many gay men appear to loath and hate.

With that said, a few (very few) are sincere and honestly want a relationship and like you use the grinder and other apps and craigslist (or please murder me and rape my dead eyesockets) - but those are far and few between.

Your best bet is to move to the big city and join the 'scene' and meet many LGBT and hopefully meet the one, or your next ex or whatever it turns out to be.

[MikeW]

….Next time you get into this, try asking the guy if he would like to come to a potluck and meet some other guys. Provide the venue and some paper plates and see if there is a chance that a little conversation and and maybe a game of horseshoes could crack the ice. You might even slump on the couch and discuss dating in your town…..

I think this is an excellent idea, [MENTION=20933]LJay[/MENTION] has suggested, [MENTION=22587]elprinciperojo[/MENTION]. I haven't lived in outside a major gay mecca for most of my adult life. HOWEVER… <<<BIG HOWEVER COMING!!!! >>> Despite that fact, *the way I met my two partners were through gay SOCIAL organizations*. That is, events that we created specifically so gay men could meet *outside of Bar culture* (which was pretty much the only alternative back in those days). It really isn't that hard to create a "meet-up" event. You can even ask other people if they'd like to help. Even make it a semi-regular thing (like once ever 6 to 8 weeks or something).

And, equally to the point, it isn't about *shopping* (exactly). It's about meeting other gay men who may know other gay men to whom you may get introduced. That was pretty much how people used to meet, you know? Friends of friends.

BY THE WAY my one suggestion if you do decide to do something "social" is make it NOT a "lets get falling down drunk" kind of event. Whether its getting together for a picnic and volleyball or a pot-luck, or a "who can bake the best apple pie" context… W/E.. be creative w/ it but do not make it into an opportunity for people to get waisted.

[Rareboy]

If it is any consolation, there's nothing that I can see or read that is wrong with you.

In another time and another place I would definitely have wanted to get to know you.

But you're in Bumfuck Oklahoma and I am 0ver 30 years in an ltr and in Bumfuck Ontario.

And that is the reality for you. You likely are just not living near the deep pool of available men to date. Percentages are against a homo living in a small community in a repressive state.

So load up the truck with your dishes and dolls and head on into the the big fabulous cities where I could pretty much guarantee you that you'd find that perfect guy.