Goodby to the bondage club....

[reaper]

Hello again!

So my journey so far has taken me down a new road. I'm at the age where I tell simple things with long stories....

Several moths ago I came out. As a straight but curious man I ventured into the infamous bondage club to kill 2 birds with one stone. (not actual birds were injured in this post) My interest in kink which I had explored a little bit with women, and engaging in somewhat erotic play with men.

After the first time I went (to the weekly meetup) I returned every week for the next several weeks. I think about 3 moths.

Here I quickly realized I was a gay man as I suspected. I had my first kiss and other things and developed a crush on the guy I played with.

The guy didn't want him to be my first and he was reluctant to take the relationship in a more sexual direction.

(a recap if you will)

I started using Grindr to experiment in my new life. I didn't use the app for very long. I had a few hookups and quickly started using it to make dates, with the possibility of hooking up, depending on how it went.

I met a guy on there and it was the perfect match for me. He was cool, good looking, and looking for a friend with benefits type of thing. Since this was just a hookup situation, I told him my entire story...unedited. He didn't care! I told him I was in a frat boy stage and wanted to keep things simple and fun.

We met at a dinner or diner, I forget which one it is. We talked for 2.5 hours. It was very comfortable since we had been texting quite a bit before the meetup.

We hooked up and planned to meet up again. We quickly hooked up again, then again. Every time we went out before or after.

We both knew right away that we were catching feelings but both were guarded...for a brief period of time.

A week later I suggested that maybe we shouldn't whore around so much! We decided to be a couple and both deleted our Grindr accounts.

Things were great, and I was still going to the club. The club was the one thing that gave me hesitation about just being with him. It was important to me and I couldn't imagine not going. He had no issue with it and never asked or suggested I not go.

When I brought it up, since I felt guilty about it, he said my concern showed him that I really cared.

I missed the first Sunday at the club since I started going shortly after. When I returned for one night I missed a few weeks then returned again. I didn't know it would be my last visit....but it felt like goodbye.

I was to conflicted to enjoy it. It felt like cheating and it was really! It's like the old saying, just because you can...doesn't mean you should.

I had a conversation with my bondage buddy who was my first crush and who I lusted after for all my time there....

I told him my activities in the club would be a bit more tame then they had become....what started out as sexual play started to be very sexual play. Multiple times I got BJs from the subs I was topping.

On what was to be my last night, my bondage buddy tied me up. (which was typical) And put on the blindfold, also typical, and gave me a bj when I was tied up. When I told him that my activities would be limited he asked "what about sex?"

I told him since I'd never done that there I didn't think I'd be starting now. He said it made sense then continued to talk. He said it was cool being his first kiss, and first crush, but he didn't want to be my first as far as sex.

As I was drifting from the club, he was letting me know that our relationship could have the sexual aspect I had been hoping for.

When I was leaving I gave him a hug, I had an odd feeling like it was over even though I hadn't made the choice to not return.

He knew it too. He said make sure you come back.....I said I would.

This thread took a turn I hadn't really anticipated with the whole back story....but I have shared so much about it here....I though it was fitting to include the final chapter.

This thread was supposed to be about me considering letting my bf move in....but I'll dive into that possibility a bit down the road.

Thanks again for all the help and advice as my path has unfolded....

[CellarDweller]

Thanks for sharing, Reaper, and I don't mind when a simple thing becomes a long story. It makes for good reading!

[jimcrackcorn]

You've taken the right direction. Congratulations!!!

Hurrah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jim

[TwisttheLeaf]

It's like the old saying, just because you can...doesn't mean you should.

[East]

I love reading about your journey reaper..you are so refreshing! I dig your honesty and willingness to look at situations with an open mind and heart....such great qualities. Your guy is a very lucky man!

I know the feeling well when you know this is the last time....it is an odd feeling but something instinctive I think...l have had that alot of times in my life. Sometimes I hate it...or resist it....but in the end...I submit. I just did that with my old friends on Facebook...

I think you made a great decision BTW. It is nice when you make a decision because you WANT to...not because you HAVE to...

I am very happy for you!

[princealbertofb]

Hey, @reaper, I think you've killed a few moths in your post.... hehe.

Jokes aside, I'm very pleased for you. It told you, way back then, that your outlook would change... seems, for once, not to have been too beside the mark. Take care, both of you.

[princealbertofb]

... and [MENTION=21734]reaper[/MENTION], you don't have to stop visiting the site, ok?

[reaper]

[MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION]....I basically did submit. I did have very mixed feelings about it too.

That place was important to me, as were a few people I knew their. It was fun and different.

But the fact that I knew it would be hurtful or diminishing to my boyfriend made me chose not to go.

He loves me to much and is way to good to me for me to keep going.

For what he gives he deserves way more then that!!

[reaper]

... and [MENTION=21734]reaper[/MENTION], you don't have to stop visiting the site, ok?

Haha, I won't. If being bound and whipped was ok I think posting on a website would be acceptable.

I'm more of a lurker then poster. I haven't been out or done very much to offer a whole lot of input. Haha.

I came out in a wild way and quickly retreated into a domestic lifestyle.

[princealbertofb]

Haha, I won't. If being bound and whipped was ok I think posting on a website would be acceptable.

I'm more of a lurker then poster. I haven't been out or done very much to offer a whole lot of input. Haha.

I came out in a wild way and quickly retreated into a domestic lifestyle.

Funny, that.