Am I being too sensitive?

[rroepcke]

Hey guys,

So I've been with my partner for over 10 months now and we have just moved in together. Over the course of our relationship we have had a lot of ups and downs and a few instances of dishonesty (on his part). Last night he asked if we could consider taking on a boarder one night of the week.

This doesn't sound like a huge issue - the big issue for me is that the boarder he wants to stay with us one night of the week is a person I have caught him being dishonest with - He was sending this person 'cheeky' messages when we first started dating and the guy is essentially his ex fuck buddy. This person is also very up and down, agrees to be friends with my partner then sends him messages like 'oh I wish we could still fuck' and things along those lines.

Since catching him out I have worked very hard to get through these issues and to build trust up again. I am glad I did because since then we have done a lot, travelled, moved in, said I love you and he has even come out to his family and friends with me at his side. I now trust him but I think and feel as though this person coming to stay with us one night a week will be a bit too much for me and that it's not really fair or right for him to offer (as he has already done).

Please let me know what you all think - am I being too sensitive or are my feelings founded? How should I approach this subject?

Thanks guys!

[Lexington]

I'd say you have every right to feel like this is more than you're willing to agree to. And you can just put it in those terms. "I might be agreeable to perhaps having a boarder once a week, but I don't think I could handle it being one of your fuck buddies."

Lex

[Pyromancer]

I don't think that you're being overly sensitive. Frankly, the whole thing seems odd - why does this guy need a place to stay for only one day out of the week? This guy doesn't seem to respect your relationship - he's telling your BF he wishes they could have sex and being generally provocative. So yeah...you trust your BF - I trust mine too, but I'm not going to go out of my way to throw temptation into his lap...

You need to talk this out with your BF and tell him exactly how you feel...

[Iceblink]

No, you are not being overly sensitive. You have listed yourself here as a person in a monogamous relationship and your boyfriend's history with this person combined with the kind of things the person is still saying to your boyfriend, your boyfriend should not have asked or even considered having this person become a boarder.

[CellarDweller]

No, I don't think you were being overly sensitive.

[Borg69]

Oh hell no this ain't going to happen! I'd be showin' him/them the Thunder Dome.

[East]

No...you aren't being over senstive. The real question would be...why does your BF think this is a good idea? He is not being sensitive enough...and that is the real issue.

[MikeW]

uggg… this forum …. you guys are SUCH a bunch of nervous nellies…



i mean, after all, what could POSSIBLY go wrong with this scenario?

I'm like totally 100% for sure that this guy's partner of TEN WHOLE MONTHS would never, ever, u know…

[BarryAndBryan]

I would definitely not let this happen...you have to have trust...but don't be foolish...there is a line that shouldn't be crossed...

[cnorwood4350]

hey rroepcke

listen if the man is cheating on you or if you think he is then you should talk to him and tell him how you feel. you should never have to feel like you are being to sentitive. ou are speaking your mind and you are trying to help by doing what you are doing. but remember one thing, if he cant be honest with you then i dont think he is the right guy for you. that is my opinion.

peace
cnorwood4350